how to hell do i deal with this ?

[dmax]

my wife is crazy, she was making food this morning , im in next door meanwhile she leaves it on cooker without notifying me, it burns , she screams and yells abuse at me holding our baby in her arms,shouting vile insults and slamming doors, she is ok for 3-5 days then she explodes again , looking at her face you would know she has a nasty filthy temper her brows meet and she has a scowling look , im at the end of my tether, its making me suicidal , i want out but how do i leave my kid i cannot, if i dint get out i will seriously hurt her. she throws things and bangs doors, ive told her before hundreds of times she cant do this in front of kid, she is ok then within a short period of time shes back to being evil edna, i feel like crying and am lying here shaking now , our beautifull daughter is suffering, i dont need calls to see samaritans ir any of that rubbish i need to understand why she is like this, post natal maybe ? but shes allways been firey..i cant leave my kid in her hands , im unemployed now and ive no family so i cant go to stay with family, i cant get a house quickly enough of my own , i feel i do need to get my daughter to myself but ive nothing to offer her no job/home/family members cousins or nieces. fk this !!!!

[dmax]

she doesnt listen to reason , everything she does its her way or no way, shes as head strong as a bull and stubborn as a mule.

[redcrx]

how olds the baby, do you still see health visitors, maybe a call to them to tell them of your concerns as to the post natal part.

[milliezoe]

You need to find a refuge for yourself and your daughter a place of safety there are mens refuges as well as women then you must make her attend anger amanagement course and refuse to return if she refuses it will give you the breathing space to decide for yourself what you want to do in a calm settled atmosphere good luck

[yogi-bear]

Oh my word....you have so many issues going on here, dmax.....you want to get a house on your own...what about your baby daughter?...and why dont you want help from organisations like the Samaritans if you feel suicidal as a result.
Try and get a grip and get some help.....either from your doctors or the samaritans or similar organisation as they DO help.....
I would make an appoitment with your GP quickly and discuss all you've said with them...they should hopefully be able to advise you what to do and how to go about it....and get some help for your wife's temper swings as it wont cure itself if you dont.
.......
..i've posted some links and good luck.

http://www.samaritans.org/

http://www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk/

[yinyang]

Has she got dramaticallly worse since the baby came along or has her temper always been this bad?
This may sound trivial but are you both sleep deprived? Lack of sleep is torture and can really distort and exaggerate negative feelings. My husband and I had some raging rows during the first year as parents - and yes, he did have to dodge the odd thing chucked at him but once we started to get more sleep and the babies required less ' intensive' looking after things eased.

I agree with Redcrx that if possible you should speak to Your Health visitor as your wife could well have PND.

You mentioned being out of work. Could the stress of being unemployed with a young baby to take care of be adding to the problem. Will your wife be going back to work ?

Sorry for all the questions!

[yogi-bear]

As yingyang, milliezoe and Redcrx says yopu need to find out WHY your wife's like this.....could be PND, especially with the other circumstances you describe.......she needs help, as you do......please seek it ASAP, and hope you get back on track.......you have a daughter to look after, so act NOW........best of luck, dmax

[lotsafun]

how old is your baby dmax? it could be possible your GF is suffering from postnatal depression so you must get her to seek help either form a doctor of health visitor.

[zzxxee]

how was she before she had the baby has her behaviour always been this way?

[ummmm]

New baby, No money, Lack of sleep....enough to send many people mad. What is she like when she calms down? Does she see reason?

[DEN53]

Max - not sure how old your daughter is, but your wife is showing classic symptons of post natal depression. If she suffered from pre menstrual syndrome before she was pregnant, then combine the two and you have a lethal combination.

I suffered from both and when you are in this fuzzy haze, its like someone else is pulling your strings. The fact that sometimes she is o.k, also fits the condition.

Some women cry a lot and withdraw into themselves - others, like your wife will lash out saying and doing abusive things.

You must get some help - start with your GP.

[society]

You said you are unemployed, take care of the home and the baby and send your wife out every day for long walks to where ever to get her away from you and baby. This way you'll have peace and quiet and wifey will have lots of alone time to think, de-stress.

[smart1]

For your sake , and the childs, you HAVE to leave - not what you want, but that's what a fecked relationship does, unfortunately. After you leave, sort it from there. Best of luck.

[ummmm]

He didn't say she was a danger to the child.

[ummmm]

And don't forget people....this is just one side to the story.

[smart1]

Who mentioned danger to child? That directed to ummmm

[ummmm]

milliezoe.....You need to find a refuge for yourself and your daughter

smart1....For your sake , and the childs, you HAVE to leave

[society]

think Ummm was talking to me

max said wife gets crazy in front of the child

[dmax]

yogi - nothing wrong with me (apart from feeling like crap here and my nerves are wrecked)its her, she is making my life hell and it is going to affect our kids life.

[smart1]

Meant childs psychological health - or mental health - either way, that's what I meant.

[redcrx]

dmax, what has been done to help you wife so far?

walking out with the child may be worse thing you can do if she has PND.

Please call the HV at the very least, but get your wife help asap.