Daughter beaten up by her boyfriend

[daffy654]

My daughter came round this morning covered in bruises, cuts and scratches. When I asked her where they were from she said her new boyfriend did it because he found out she had posted on a male friend's FB page. I went silent with rage when she said this... she knows if I go silent that I am very angry.
She claims she has contacted the police who want photos of her injuries. I'm not sure whether she has contacted them or was saying it to keep me quiet. She also said she is going round to see this boyfriend later on after she has bought a new mobile for herself because he smashed hers up.

Will the police press charges (if she has actually called them) against him even if she doesn't want them to?

[daffy654]

She had to come round mercia as she owed me some money and she knows I would have sent the oh to her house to fetch it if she hadn't.

I can't really 'mark his card' for him because it would descend into a full blown argument and that may alienate my daughter from me :(
She wouldn't have claimed to have been mugged because she knows that I would see through her lie immediately. My daughters both used to call me 'the lie detector' behind my back when they were younger. lol

I am however tempted to go and post something on his facebook page. His last status update mentions him having contact from the police so it looks like my daughter did actually report him.

[merciasounds]

Well that's good. Thug wants sorting out!!

[sandyRoe]

I'd bet he'd say she provoked him. If only he would provoke a couple of six footers who would then kick the crap out of him.
He's a piece of dirt.

[proudmary]

Hi Daffy, I was in the same situation as your daughter over 20yrs ago, I didn't tell my parents I was too ashamed, but I got chocs and flowers afer every beating so he loved me really didn't he...... I eventually got out, mam and dad still dont know everything but were very supportive. I want you to think this through from another angle if you can? My son who is now 25 still has demons from childhood, he can remember being about 4 years old and seeing me being pushed down the stairs and his dad telling him to laugh which he did because he was terrified, he still has nightmares about it because he should have protected me!! When he was 18 he found his dad and beat him up, as he was hitting him he said "this is for every punch you gave my mam" needless to say he was charged with GBH, sorry I have rambled on but maybe if your daughter think of the effect this will have on her children she may get the strength to do something about it.
Best wishes xx

[Nosha123]

I would send someone round to threaten him with a beating ten times m ore than he has given your daughter... do you have any large male friends that could do this?

Also.. she needs to prosecute him... I bet this isnt the first time he has done this... and I'm sure it wont be the last - does she know of any ex-girlfriends of his who experienced the same abuse?

[tinkerbell23]

thinking of u daffy..............hope all is well....welll......as good as it can be xxxxx

[daffy654]

I just spoke to my daughter and she has dropped the charges against the scumbag because he promised her he wouldn't do it again. I'm angry and upset at the same time now. They are back together and i'm expected to be civil to him when they bring the grandchildren (he isn't their dad) to see me.

I suppose all I can do now is be there for my daughter when he hits her next time :(

[Greedyfly]

Sorry to hear that Daffy. Your right all you can do is be there for her when she needs you. Unfortunately most women fall for this 'I never meant it, I won't do it ever again' rubbish. My mum did many times. One day she will see sense. I would personally have a word with him when he comes round next though. And just keep an eye on her, try not to let her become distant from you - men like this give men in general a bad name. And I am sure you know men like that are rarely true to there word. I hope she sees sense soon, even if it's just for the children!

[Greedyfly]

Just read Proudmarys post - I am sure you know this Daffy but kids see everything, I remember every beating my mum got when I was a child - it really does affect your entire life as an adult.

[boxtops]

Sad daffy - I hope he keeps to his promise, but posting on another bloke's FB is not an offence. I hope the new BF doesn't just want to keep her all for himself and cut her off from her other friends. He sounds a right charmer.

[daffy654]

The children are 26 months and 13 months and my daughter claims they were both in bed when it happened. I don't believe her, I could tell by her tone of voice and the fact she paused before answering me that she was lying.

[daffy654]

He has already convinced her to move to Essex with him boxtops. She knows nobody down there as all her friends and family are here on the Fylde coast... hundreds of miles from Essex.

[Greedyfly]

Let's hope he sticks to his word but I think we all know it rarely happens that way. All you can do is keep your door open for her at all times which I am sure you will. And keep a close eye (as close as you can) on her, men like this try there best to alienate there partners from there friends and family and generally it's not hard. They have the gift of the gab. What a horrible situation for you and your daughter to be in!

I would give him a talking too if I knew you!

[tinkerbell23]

seems as if hes trying to cut her off from you all eh....oh daffy.. wish i could say something to make u feel better. x

[Greedyfly]

This doesn't sound good at all. Moving away from her family and friends. Maybe you should try to get her to chat with someone - http://www.victimsupport.org.uk/

It probably won't work but they might be able to show her what generally happens in these situations. I would be beside myself if I were you Daffy, sorry we cannot help more!

[daffy654]

Thanks for the support folks. I'm in bits here at the moment.

I'm hoping (against hope) that she is unable to find accommodation down there and sees his true nature before they go... of course that probably means she will get another couple of beatings off him for her to realise. My oh (her stepdad) is ready to go round there and teach him the error of his ways but my daughter says she will never speak to me again if he does.

I hope the police will decide to continue with the charges my daughter dropped, but I somehow doubt they will.

[Bobbisox]

OMG, Daffy I feel for you, you are between a rock and a hard place here.
love Bobbi xxxx

[dothawkes31]

She can't withdraw charges as it is the police that charge him not her.

[supersuezy24]

Daffy, I can't even imagine what you are going through, I'm o sorry to hear all this.
This piece of sh!t doesn't deserve your daughter. Could she be going back out of fear??

[daffy654]

She withdrew her statement dot. The police told her that they still wish to speak to the scumbag and 'give him a talking to' though, so he has to report to the station tomorrow or they will come looking for him. He thinks it is all a big joke going by his facebook status posts.