Friends/Fairweather friends

[Dris]

At which point would you determine a friend had switched to a fairweather friend?

Has it happened to you?

Just curious -saw the term and wondered........

[4getmenot]

what is one?

[boxtops]

when they only contact you when they want something

[jno]

presumably when bad weather came along and she vanished?

[ummmm]

When they started only seeing you in good times....or when they wanted something.

(Gramps doing ok today ;0))

[cazzz1975]

I have one of them, she has not visited or phoned me in 4 years, then bam she phones me out of the blue a few weeks ago asking if I could lend her £800 because she has the baliffs outside.

[Dris]

Ummm:)
jno.....pretty perceptive aint ya :)

[seadogg]

He's always around - when HE needs you

[dotty.]

but that';s not a fairweather friend cazz that's a desperate friend, if she'd phoned you when you had won the lottery or a holiday looking to share it then she would be a fairweather friend to you.

[ummmm]

I had one that use to blow her money on drinking and smoking and came round when she needed to feed her daughter.

[askyourgran]

We had neighbours who lived a few doors away and we spent some good times with them, parties, outings etc, then they moved away. We still kept in touch and visited each other. Now they have split up, he is with someone younger, she is alone. I still phone her, but time and the situation has changed things, my husband still speaks to him but I won't. So I guess they are now considered fair-weather friends, we may see them occasionally (separately) but not like it was before.

[cazzz1975]

dotty, she only ever phones up to borrow things, I have helped her a lot in the past then realised that I was putting myself out a lot for her but she has no interest in me or my life unless she needs something, the kind of friend I can do without.

[Dris]

cazz and everyone really -thats it !
I thought a friendship was a 2 way street -good bad etc etc but at what point do you realise that its just been a 'lending ear' friendship rather than deep one?
Would you just mosey along or would you see it for what it was?
No trickery here and no-one in particular......just im not selfish so I dont fully understand the 'concept'.

[cazzz1975]

she is probably more a leech than a fairweather friend !

[seadogg]

Its easy to become one. If a mate falls ill, long term, its too convenient to go round for a while and gradually tail off. It happened to a pal of mine who had a stroke.

[Prudie]

I understand a fairweather friend to be one who is only friends with you when times are good for you (not bad for them). I certainly experienced it when I split up with a fairly well off and locally well known husband. As a single mother I was no longer seen as a worthwhile person to hobnob with (except by my couple of very close girlfriends of course).

[Dris]

Likely not a true friend.
I have a problem between being selfless and selfish -no joking and I find it hard when others dont accomodate me which is few and far between as I tend to be very insular with a problem....but if im in tears on the phone would you think that would be a giveaway ....
Im there 24/7 regardless of whether even if H is there and I rarely see him -do you think I have too high expectations of 'friendship' and should maybe start putting myself first?
This doesnt realate to AB and its obviously something troubling me but more on a bigger scale and how to deal with it.

[ttfn]

Hi Dris - more than once has this happened to me. I have argued before that one doesn't have loads of friends - merely acquaintances. 1 true friend is enough for me - if the number is doubled, then so are my blessings. I would do just about anything for a friend. I believe a friendship requires a certain commitment. It may be easier/better in a time of great need to turn to a friend than to one's family. True friendship is invaluable, imho.

[boxtops]

Good words, ttfn. I find I have reached a time in my life when I value the friends I have, and I have more true friends (in a small number) than I have ever had before. "To get a friend, you have to be one."

[ttfn]

That is easy for you to say boxy, but with my beautiful looks and figure I always have to ask myself why they want to be my friend

[ttfn]

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