Anxious Husband..

[sluggy_jones]

My wife is a regular user of facebook keeping in touch with her friends and old school friends ect. Several weeks ago she added a guy who she went out with when she was at school. I'm certain this chap was her first love. She now corresponds with this guy more than she does with anyone else on there. Ive seen what they say to each other as this guy hasnt set his profile to private. Although some of what they say is slightly flirty, most of it is casual banter. But Ive noticed they always end their messages with a 'X' something she hasnt or dosnt do with her other male friends. Her ex is single and never married. Am I right to be worried that this relationship could develop further or am I just being paranoid?

[roxie_09]

I wouldn't worry, I ALWAYS end things with a X even on here, I wouldn't let it get to me if I were you :) x

[LoftyLottie]

I emailed a business contact once and put three kisses on the end - something I do naturally. I felt so silly!!

Personally I wouldn't worry. Sometimes it gives us ladies quite a boost to talk to or email an old flame and it can be a bit flirty. I don't think you are being paranoid, but as you actually have seen these emails I don't think you have anything to worry about. It would be different if she was doing in in secret.

[tastymorsel]

I e-mail and text male friends and always end with an x but would never intend for it to be taken as anything more than a friendly gesture.

[whiskeysheri]

The fact they're writing on each other's walls just shows they've nothing to hide; they could just as easily message each other privately. I, too, always end messages to male friends with kisses. If it is uncomfortable for you, though, just mention it to her. I'm sure she wouldn't want to make you feel that way if she knew. Don't make a bigger deal about it than necessary, though.

[Postdog]

To be honest, having been in similar situations, if you show it is worrying you or make a fuss, then the chances are that will create a rift even if none exists now. Best just let it lie.

[sluggy_jones]

Wow. So many quick replies. I don't know if they've messaged each other in private or not. The only way I would find that out is to access my wife's account. I feel that would be an invasion of her privacy a bit like reading her diary and cause as someone has said an unnecessary rift. Being old school friends they both share a number of mutual friends on there and I one of their latest post one of them has asked in jest if they are having a "Fling" Neither of them responded.

[LoftyLottie]

Facebook can be a very dangerous place in my opinion!! A mutual friend asking on a public site "are you having a fling" could ruin many a marriage. Life was far better before Friends Reunited, Facebook, etc.

[flip_flop]

I've never been on Facebook, but I am friends with two couples who broke up after contact was re-established with old flames.

I'm not suggesting for a moment this is likely to happen, but personally, if it were me, I'd be asking some very pointed questions.

[Postdog]

It's actually other friends who cause trouble, even if they don't mean too. I know myself how they can instill doubts.

You say you wouldn't anyway, but don't access her messages. Again, that could tip the balance the wrong way and even innocent friends can say things to each other that are harmless but could be misconstrued.

[craft1948]

Don't be paranoid..........you should still be in the honeymoon phase.

[notasyoungasiwas]

I don't understand the 'appeal' of facebook and twitter and other such sites. They seem to cause a lot of problems imo. Maybe I'm just old fashioned ...

[LoftyLottie]

We obviously agree Post Dog!

[LoftyLottie]

Old fashioned is always bad though is it ;o)

[notasyoungasiwas]

No, I guess not Lotty

[notasyoungasiwas]

Sorry, Lottie

[sluggy_jones]

I suppose its one of those situations where I'm going to have to wait and see and trust her. I can't demand her to close her account but it is giving me some concern that it might develop into something else

[joeluke]

Sluggy......nip this in the bud straight away before it goes further and she leaves you for him

They've probably already exchanged 'wouldn't it be great to meet up again' messages

[chrissy847]

I think you have every right to be concerned,I don't think couples should have anything 'private' from each other.But then I am old fashioned that way.Ask her for her password ,if she refuses.........................

[trt]

Ask your wife if it was you doing the same thing, how would she feel?

[Craftypig]

This feeling of insecurity is a very common problem with these "social sites" when old flames pop up, long lost friends of the opposite sex etc etc. A work friend of my partners opened a facebook account recently and her husband was not happy about it at all. So often these days we hear of relationships being ruined in similar circumstances. I would say that there is a touch of paranoia in your concerns, reading the conversations, worrying about an "x" to be honest I think that is a natural reaction, I think those kind of concerns would cross most peoples minds. If it worries you talk to her about it, dont go making demands of her such as telling her to get rid of him on facebook though, that could just make matters worse.