Dating Site - genuine people?

[liquidspace]

My question is kind of along these lines: if someone is on a dating site and is pretending to be someone or something they are not what are they actually getting out of it?

I have been exchanging mails with a man who is an italian businessman, an engineer who travels the world. Bottom line is that he wants to buy me presents, says he has fallen for me and basically he seems too good to be true in the things he says to me. He says he is a widow and that I now have his heart etc.

Im dubious until I actually meet him. What would be the point of someone pretending to be someone or something they are not? Surely after I've met him I will know whether he is genuine or not?

[Euphemia]

As long as it's not Berlusconi....

[237SJ]

Seems a bit strange that he`s bragging about being rich. Most seriously rich and successful men don`t brag about it (unless they`re Wannabees). Just because he travels a lot doesn`t mean he`s rich either. Most businessmen don`t pay for their own tickets.

[sara3]

some rich people do brag about it.. if that's all they have.. no personality, looks, humour, youth, etc.. they'll take the trophy/gold-digger wife in return for their wealth.

[ummmm]

But she's seen pics of this bloke...

[sara3]

then meet him somewhere public for coffee.. and sit near the exit.

[cazzz1975]

.

[Barmaid]

I am going to be brutal here. I COULD be wrong. However, I have quite extensive experience of this.

His profile sounds just like your classic "romance scammer". They are generally from Europe or the US; generally working in Africa or Asia; generally an "engineer" - covers a multitude of sins; generally widowed or divorced (wife having been caught in bed with best friend) and often have one child.

The pictures they use are generally stolen from internet model sites. They sound convincing - heck they ARE convincing. My own sister in law fell in love with a scammer.

You could do no worse than to track his email address. Or you could log into romancescam.com and see if his profile/email address flag up? If it was a free dating site the chances of it being a scammer increase exponentially. You could also create a fake email account and start emailing him under an assumed name to see if you get a response. If it is a free dating site, create another profile and email him.

My guess is that when it comes to the first meeting, his wallet will be stolen and he will ask you to pay for his flight/hotel etc etc.

Until a couple of years ago, I used to bait these guys just for the sheer hell of it. I still play with the odd one now and again. It just sounds dodgy. Any presents will be bought on a stolen credit card and as has already been suggested, in order to get your confidence.

I repeat, however, I COULD BE WRONG. If I am wrong, I wish you the best of luck.

[liquidspace]

He didn't advertise the fact he is wealthy, I don't even know that he is. Everytime we chat its for a couple of hours and its not on the internet dating site as he has come off there. I have seen him on cam on skype so I know he matches his pictures. The point is that I'm not a mug and can't be scammed as I don't have any money to give anyway so he wont get anything out of me! The plan is to meet in a safe place when he returns from Malaysia (and yes I did check the time difference of his calls and emails) and see what happens.

[liquidspace]

Haha you're gonna love this.....he eventually asked me to lend him £1,000 as his credit card didn't work in his hotel!! Told him where to go. After a few days now he has contacted me again and I asked him why he did all this. He has apologised, said he can see I was a nice person and has shown himself to me on cam talking to me and repeatedly saying sorry. He's a black guy from Nigeria studing in Kuala Lumpur - may this be a lesson to all of us.

[cazzz1975]

I thought you had already seen him on cam and he looked like his pics?

[emmie]

liquidspace, good for you, though sadly how many succumb to this sort of scam.

[ummmm]

Thanks for letting us know. Lucky escape eh?

[notasyoungasiwas]

"may this be a lesson to us all" Not me liquid, I did tell you to run for the hills !

[daisya]

Pity a lot more people who fall for this over tinternet don't question things first, flattery seems to make people "blind" in such matters. My question would be....how can anyone "fall" for someone over tinternet never having met them? Strange one that but I guess words are mightier than anything else.....hmmmm (and is that false photo's etc etc too....)

[tonywiltshire]

Sounds like Barmaid was right.

[naomi24]

Three weeks?!! And he's an Italian businessman who travels the world? I would have more than alarm bells ringing.

You know the old saying 'if it seems too good to be true, it usually is'.

[naomi24]

^^ Oops, sorry, hadn't read the outcome. No surprise there then!

[Khandro]

Nice of you to come back to tell us, and I'm pleased you escaped unscathed. The more attention drawn to these (expletive deleted) the better.