probably a silly question but here goes.

[Jenarry]

Is it normal for the woman of the house to do the lion's share of the work around the house.
i've lived with 3 partners and although they have been different personalities types it always seems to be the same set up once we've moved in together. Namely me feeling overwhelmed with the chores I have to do for me ,my partner and my son.I'm in my 40's now and i'm proper hacked off with it now. I've always worked and so have my partners but it seems to fall on me to look after a lot of the house chores as well...with very little help.
I try to cut my current bf some slack because he does do a very physical job but my patience really runs thin when after work i'm trying to get tea for my son,fix us some food, get school bags ready for the next day,washing up, putting bins out.etc,etc!!! aaargh.
insult to injury is that i know my bf was very particular in his house.. up at the crack of dawn at weekends washing bedsheets etc,his house was immaculate but that has all stopped now he's living in my place and i feel like the flipping maid once again!!!!
it's probably added stress of christmas preparations but i feel so fed up right now and i keep thinking that i would be better off livng on my own again (with my son )and i can't shake the feeling off. :O( :O(

[sallybb]

Normal, They pick up the habit by having their mothers do everything for them, which is what your doing also to your son. So the the same trend will follow when he leaves home and has an OH.
There is the odd exception my daughters Oh is OCD and is quite happy to do the housework providing he has a good dinner on the table. Lucky Girl !!

[suechu]

Well Jenarry, I wish you better luck than I've ever had with this problem. Basically in my house, if I don't do it it doesn't get done. End of!

[AlBags]

I like cleaning .. and having my small cottage looking neat and at it's best.
Chris .. You have a problem .. I should think your place stinks?
You need to sort yourself out. Who do you think is going to come round and entertain you?

[Jenarry]

ummm. the bins is a bit of bugbear for me because i've had years of having to remember bin day every blumming week and then having to prompt someone else to put it out or put it out myself along with trying to do everything else!!!!
my son is 5yrs old so a little young for doing anything other than tidying his own toys away ..maybe he could do his own schoolbag though.
we have separate meals because my son has coeliac/diabetes/food issues and can't eat a lot of what we have but i am working on this issue . ie trying to broaden variety of foods for son and having gluten free foods for all of us.
it's very frustrating for me as my oh knows i have a lot going on around tea-time but if i don't specifically ask him to do this or that he sits on the internet while i run around doing about 3 or 4 things at once. :O(

[atrollope]

Turn the sockets off at the fuse [email protected] penny might drop.

[Jenarry]

and like i said he used to have his house spotless. he used to have to do all these things before. maybe i should've moved into his house and he would've kept his old routines up! seriously though i get fed up of prompting for help.

[joeluke]

'get tea for my son,fix us some food, get school bags ready for the next day,washing up, putting bins out'

Apart from putting the bins out my Mrs does all those other things day in day out without complaining, it's called keeping house, it's what women do

[ummmm]

Oi...who let you out the cave???

[AlBags]

: )

[AlBags]

Like you're keeping at the pub, I suppose.

[seadogg]

Always thought there was something a little odd about men who voluntarily donned the "pinny" until I became a carer. Men are naturally a bit idle at home and need prodding as a rule. Many women are just too good at it and men feel that their efforts would not stand comparison. Luckily women have a "secret weapon" and should use it if persuasion fails. Lysistrata showed the way.

[joeluke]

Cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing etc

Women do those things so much better than men so that's why we let you do them

[China Doll]

'Cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing etc

Women do those things so much better than men so that's why we let you do them '

^^^ Not in this house they don't! :c( Well actually we don't have any ironing and I do think that the washing is at the very least equal... but cooking and cleaning is not my forte, good job I'm charming and lovable I guess... oh wait, no I'm not... ;0)

[ummmm]

I don't think women realise how much they take over either. If my OH attempts to cook or iron I get itchy teeth. He's good at hoovering though.

[AlBags]

Ruddy have to be with your ceilings! : )

[DTCwordfan]

Its a division of labour between two partners, and one starts with what each is best at - if then it is one sided, the other should be "coached/encouraged/ flagellated" to improve what is agreed on.

I enjoy cooking and hoovering etc, even bathroom cleaning but ironing gets right up my left and right nostril......

[venator]

mrs V is working - I'm retired.

I do all the washing up, a lot of cooking, swabbing kitchen & bathroom floors, hang out washing, putting out bins and the like, also tend the bottomless coffee cup. All obvious things which need doing.

My basic problem is that I can't see dirt, so Mrs V dusts , hoovers (Sebo s) gathers dirty clothes and does all sorts of jobs I can't see the reason for.

Is that one reason men don't do their share - because they can't see what needs doing, and it doesn't bother them?

[tenrec]

Agree with Venator, or is it just because they is "bone idle"

[ummmm]

I agree Venator.

[askyourgran]

I'm married to a guy from the Alf Garnett school of etiquette. A womans place is in the kitchen. Only recently have I found things are taking longer to do, and climbing up to the wipe down the top of the kitchen cupboards for example is getting a bit worrying. I'm calling him a lazy git now, but he's never given a thought about doing household jobs before. Try talking to your partner calmly, say you would appreciate a bit of help, putting the bins out or sharing the household tasks in general, considering you both work and have your son to care for too.