New Neighbour

[bloaterbum]

I wonder if anyone can help on this one .I have a new neighbour and wondered how to be friendly without appearing a creep.She spends hours and hours alone like myself and although Iam an independant type, it would be nice to have a chat and the odd cup of tea.I don't fancy her or anthing but the company would be nice

[mccfluff]

have you tried saying hello when you see her?

[bloaterbum]

That's the problem you never see her unles you go sralking her as she drives off to work and Ihave avoided that

[Khandro]

Take her some flowers, or maybe spring bulbs in a pot, and just say Hello, welcome to the neighbourhood, and introduce yourself.

[andrew1707]

What about the old "Can I borrow a cup of sugar?" route.

"Hi, I'm your neighbour from next door and I'm in the middle of baking a cake and have realised that I need some sugar/eggs/baking powder (delete as req)...." etc.
This would be a good way of breaking the ice.

Strangers are just friends you haven't met yet!

Andrew

[rowanwitch]

I'd go with the pot of bulbs... nice without being as loaded a message as a bunch of flowers... also an offer if she needs a hand with any DIY if you are any good at it...

[Ankou]

drop her a card welcoming her to the area and clearly telling her your first name and house number so she knows who you are, then leave it at that.

hopefully she will see you thank you for the card and strike up a convo. then take it from there.

[EvianBaby]

If I was a woman living on my own and the bloke next door who I'd never spoken to started bringing me presents for no apparant reason I'd probably get an extra few locks added to my door.

You should probably just get to know her a bit by chance meetings first. Maybe she's perfectly happy without any company.

[mccfluff]

i would be a bit concerned if a neighbour brought me a pot of flowers out of the blue. if htey just knocked on the door and said, hi my names ......, i live next door just thought i's say hi. i wouldn't think that much of it

[rowanwitch]

Another one is I had a few plants left over from doing my tubs I wondered if you could make use of them...

[Khandro]

evian, your response; //I'd probably get an extra few locks added to my door.// sounds rather paranoiac ! Why should she react like that to a kind gesture.

[rowanwitch]

And if it was the other way round would anyone think it was odd....

[Craftypig]

You say she works, maybe she is happy with her own company when she isnt working....

[EvianBaby]

Khandro - that was a slight exaguration. But the point I was trying to make was that it's weird. Saying hello to new neighbours and having a chat when you bump into one another is fine but to start bringing things round to someone you've never even spoken to...... odd.

[happyone2]

To me, these responses differ depending on whether you live alone or not.............. i am single ( but with 2 lodgers ) and if a man came to my door and said that he was a new neighbour and wanted to chat and have the odd cup of tea..................... i would be very very suspicious........

I would judge whether i would ask the person in to my home by whether i felt the vibes were "okay" - feeling safer because the 2 lodger would probably b around anyway...........but if i was alone truly.............i would not.

You say she spends hours and hours alone, but i wonder if thats true........... i live alone ( as im not involved with my lodgers ) and spend tim alone but without being lonely, it appears to b your own analysis that says, shes as alone as me and therefore would like to chat etd

But i think you are lonely and want attention and you are putting your loneliness onto this situation and assuming she feels the same

As a singe woman i would find your posting worrying ........................ i would be wary and would want to run a mile !!!

[China Doll]

If I was single and a male neighbour with no wife/girlfriend gave me flowers, bulbs or apparently required to borrow basic household groceries then I would probably avoid them at all costs as I would find it odd. A welcome to the neigbour hood card with name and house number as Ankou on would be appropriate.

[Carakeel]

I think a little welcome card sounds nice, not too pushy but helpful. You may want to put a note on it regarding what day the rubbish is collected. I always used to welcome new neighbours with a card like this. New neighbours often have loads of rubbish to get rid once they have unpacked and knowing when to put it out prevents them falling out with the rest of our neighbourhood due to them putting bags out on the wrong day. I also always say if they have any problems or questions about the area to feel free to ring our doorbell at any time. Luckily, we have lots of lovely neighbours here.
When I was living in Germany, it was an old tradition to welcome any new neighbour with a round loaf of fresh farm bread with a little glass container filled with salt in the middle and a bottle or water or wine. The local bakers always used to provide this, beautifully presented with braids on the tope of the loaf. It was to give the neighbours refreshment, nourishment and spice for their new home. This is still practiced in villages and small towns all over Germany and most often also comes with an invitation for coffee / cake with the family and other neighbours. I know this wouldn't go down well everywhere here, but it is a lovely sentiment!

[Baldric]

"She spends hours and hours alone"

You sound like you're stalking her already

[craft1948]

When I moved home it was lovely to get 8 welcome cards from various neighbours................

[Eve]

I'd say tread carefully, overstepping the mark could lead to a female living alone feel quite uncomfortable if not vunerable in her own home. Sad thing to say but you have to be more careful these days.

I live alone but am not lonely at all. My home is my own personal space though and I value my space and me time.