opinions please!!!!

[escapologist]

I already know what response im gunna get from this but writing it down and getting feedback would help me know I wouldn't be making a stupid decision. I've been with a guy for about 11 months, and he plays mind games with me all the time. If I tell him I love him, he won't say it back, he'll say " ditto ". I got a job, he was angry with me coz he wouldn't be spending as much time with me. I left the job, he was angry because I left it and would be skint. If I go and visit family for a few days, he falls out with me and when I return, he won't come see me for a while because he's sulking. He tells me I don't try hard enough to get a job because im "too picky", yet he doesn't try and get a job at all. I feel like im fighting for attention all the time because im just wanting him to show that he values being with me....just a little bit! Apologies for ranting but my family have offered for me to go back home and im tempted...he was so nice at the beginning, why isn't he now? Opinions would be much appreciated x

[Secretary99]

You don't say whether he has a particular current problem which is making him this way (i.e. drugs, unemployment, criminal case overshaddowing him). If there is a specific issue then once that is dealt with, he might go back to being the man you met. Do you love him or just like the idea of being in love? Find out how he was towards other women before you came along. If a pattern is emerging then it's time to move on.

[escapologist]

He drinks quite a bit but he did when I met him (I didn't know he drank quite so much tho) and he has been unemployed since I met him...nothing has changed to his circumstances he's just not as nice to me as he used to be. I do love him, just thought he was amazing when we first got together and I want it to be like that again....

[Secretary99]

All relationships are fantastic at the beginning...

[FredPuli43]

First of all it sounds like he's an alcoholic; some of this behaviour, self centred, selfish, awkwardness, suggest it and you say he drinks . If so, it will only get worse with time. Second, by any reckoning he is behaving pretty intolerably without concern for your feelings or you. It's himself that matters to him, and he's behaving as someone who wants control over you all the time. That's not a good prospect. Your family know you best, and you may think that they see all this, and are offering you a way out.

[Brinjal]

That sounds like a nightmare. As you name suggests. Escape.

[NoMercy]

Bin him. Seriously, you want to be with a guy like that?

[waterboatman]

You are better off without a control freak like that; because that's what he is! He wants you to do as you are told but he won't do anything you want. Bin him soonest!

[lady-janine]

goodbye boyfriend.

[jd_1984]

CLASSIC controller. Every relationship is different but if you are in the early stages of the relationship, get out now he sounds like a bully and control freak who will play mind games as they are emotionally weak themselves

[boxtops]

Get out now, while you have the offer. This won't ever change/ It may hurt, but you owe it to yourself to live your own life, not his.

[Smowball]

I'd go back to your parents x

[DTCwordfan]

Simple - Go back home.

You don't need this as it will only get worse and may become physical shortly.

[Mammar]

Ask yourself if you want to keep living like this.
Also, don't hope things will change because they won't. The only thing that will change is you. You'll lose more and more of your self-esteem till you don't recognise yourself any more.
The longer you leave it, the harder it will be to get out.
Think about it.

[ladybirder]

Reading back on your previous threads escape, oh boy, you do know how to pick 'em don't you! What are you thinking of? Get rid and be more selective in future. X

[escapologist]

I was with a guy a couple years ago and he did similar, I couldn't have felt any lower. I felt horrible about myself. And im angry with myself for getting into this situation again. And im angry because im finding it difficult to walk away without a definite reason to if that makes sense?? Like something that I can't make excuses for...

[boxtops]

Don't make excuses, state facts. Say you want to get a job, and you don't love him any more - don't try to justify it, just say you've had enough, you don't have to explain all the stuff you wrote above, to him. He can't argue with that. Even if you have feelings for him (and I'm sure you probably do), you have to put them to one side for your own survival. Your family can see that you are on the rocky road, they are asking you to come home. Go for it. We're here if you need to talk to us.

[chrissa1]

I would get rid pdq. He's not making you happy, indeed, the opposite is true.

[escapologist]

Thankyou all. Im loving the thought of being on my own for a While. And not in a different city to my friends and family! This that I've explained isn't even the half of it! Im too embarassed to explain what else he does coz I know it makes me a complete mug!!!

[Jemisa]

For gawds sake DUMP him. he's trying to rule you, get out now. It might be hard to get a job but it'll be easy to get a new fella.

jem

[Mammar]

Let us know how you get on. We're all hoping you are able to sort it out and be happy x