To Date Or Not To Date, That Is Question

[BeautifulMind]

I recently meet this guy. He has the following plus and minus points:

Positives:
He asks me what I want to do on a date (virtually every guy I've been out with choose for me and I don't get any say in the decisions, which leaves me feeling that they aren't interested in me as a person).
He was a few minutes late and he texted me to tell me he was going to be late. This shows he is considerate.
We have so much in common-we watch the same films, we also have really similar taste in non fiction.

Negatives:
He has an unhealthy lifestyle (eats too much doesn't exercise much-however he is working to change this (he started before he met me). The unhealthy lifestyle worries me because I am a health freak and don't like to go out with someone unless they really take care of their health)
I don't fancy him
He doesn't make me laugh
I don't feel as comfortable around him as I've felt around other guys (but this could be because he picks up on my nerves)

I think plus points are very strong and I am not sure if fancying is a barrier to dating (I know people who didn't fancying each other when they first started dating but have been happily married some for decades and they've grown to be very fond of each other/started to love each other)

[grasscarp]

I dont fancy him says it all.
If I didnt fancy someone I would not date them. I did once because he was so persistant that I felt sorry for him. However was waste of time for me as I did not enjoy his company and a waste of time (and money) for him.

[woofgang]

what do you want to do?

[snags]

''I don't fancy him/her'' and ''He/she doesn't make me laugh'' would be deal breakers for me in terms of a longer term relationship.

Is just being 'very fond' of him good enough for you?

[Prudie]

You think his plus points are strong? I think your negative points make this a total non-starter.

[Sqad]

Positives........boring fellow.
Negatives......boring fat git with no personality.

If there is nobody else in the frame.........give him a go.

[ummmm]

The 'he doesn't make me laugh' would be the deal breaker for me.

Fancying someone can develop as you get to know them. The nicer the person, the funnier the person, the more attractive they become.

[mazie]

I think if you have to ask you already have your answer.

[dannyk13]

Why are you considering dating someone you ""don't fancy" ? I think you have answered your own question..

[gness]

BM...your positives could be found in any girlfriend...

But your negatives! You must know the answer...☺

I have a date this weekend...early days but I do at least fancy him and we can laugh together...haven't checked out his diet yet...but it's a good start I think.....

Can't think that your feelings will lead to a romance or more....but could be wrong...good luck...x

[mazie]

How exciting gness. Have a lovely time x

[Sqad]

danny

\\\\Why are you considering dating someone you ""don't fancy" ? I think you have answered your own question..\\\

Haven't you ever done that?

If he was the only "show in town"......then why not?

Haven't you ever been in the situation where it is either HER (not much to look at) or NOTHING?

Never go "empty handed."

[mazie]

Behave sqad ;o)

[gness]

Thanks, Mazie.....

Sqad..No....BM musn't do that. Think of what may slip through those hands while they are half heartedly not empty....☺

[pixie373]

I'd rather go empty-handed!
no chance, bm. Keep looking :-)

[BeautifulMind]

I might have other choices relationship wise, people say that I am nice to be around. The problem is most men I've dated haven't wanted to settle down (as they've not settle down since they split up with me I know its them not me). He wants to settle down and get married. In people's experience are there very few guys who want to get married or I am I just unlucky?

[China Doll]

You've already got marriage in the back of your head?! I think you should just slow down and enjoy the dating - enjoying it usually means dating people who you fancy that make you laugh.

[APugsLife]

Beautiful Mind I can understand the hesitation if he doesn't make you laugh and the difference in lifestyle habits, but we are all different and we need someone who will complement us as individuals (not necessarily the same). Maybe you just need to put your doubts aside and give it a go, might as well try the fish before you throw it back in the sea.

Have you asked him how he feels about you? If you knew that he fancied you, would you fancy him? If the answer is no, put him in the friend zone, nicely.

[boxtops]

He sounds nice, kind and considerate, but your lifestyles are different and I suspect that will always rankle with you. The fact you don't fancy him and you can't have a laugh just confirms it - he's not the one you should be going out with. You don't get together with people just because they're polite.