To Date Or Not To Date, That Is Question

[BeautifulMind]

I recently meet this guy. He has the following plus and minus points:

Positives:
He asks me what I want to do on a date (virtually every guy I've been out with choose for me and I don't get any say in the decisions, which leaves me feeling that they aren't interested in me as a person).
He was a few minutes late and he texted me to tell me he was going to be late. This shows he is considerate.
We have so much in common-we watch the same films, we also have really similar taste in non fiction.

Negatives:
He has an unhealthy lifestyle (eats too much doesn't exercise much-however he is working to change this (he started before he met me). The unhealthy lifestyle worries me because I am a health freak and don't like to go out with someone unless they really take care of their health)
I don't fancy him
He doesn't make me laugh
I don't feel as comfortable around him as I've felt around other guys (but this could be because he picks up on my nerves)

I think plus points are very strong and I am not sure if fancying is a barrier to dating (I know people who didn't fancying each other when they first started dating but have been happily married some for decades and they've grown to be very fond of each other/started to love each other)

[dannyk13]

Sqad.No, I haven't dated a girl I did not fancy.My standards aren't that low.

[Sqad]

danny...well played.

You see danny, the longer the evening goes on and the more you have to drink, they get more attractive and at the end of the evening, they are not too bad.

Haven't you ever experienced that?

[cazzz1975]

you sound to me like your a bit desperate Beautifulmind, the positives are not much and the negatives are a concern, I would vote no to dating this guy.

[dannyk13]

No, but I was never a heavy drinker.

[Sqad]

danny...you don't have to be a heavy drinker as, with some of them, they start to become more desirable after just a couple of drinks.

It depends.......no hard and fast rules.

[dannyk13]

Squad, Are you saying that before you can fancy a girl you have to have a drink?

[Sqad]

No! No! No ! danny......only with SOME girls.

[andy-hughes]

BeautifulMind - you decide to marry someone because you know you will grow old with them.

You don't decide to 'get married' and the look for a suitable partner to fit the bill.

You need to avoid this guy, and start meeting and mixing, with no agenda in mind.

If someone comes along that is right for you, you will know - without the aid of a checks and balances list!

[pixie373]

Well said, Andy.

[dannyk13]

I agree with Andy.You will know when you meet the right person.

[Sqad]

Well said andy.

[jakep]

Over 20 years ago I decided that I had been hurt too often and chose to stay single. I was very happy and relaxed with my decision. Within months, totally out of the blue, I met the man I am married to.
I think that, sometimes, 'looking' makes us desperate.
Please don't settle for anything less than you deserve. You need to fancy someone and they need to make you laugh.

[saintpeter48]

avoid is my advice. in any situation there must be a spark otherwise its hard work and you've wasted time on dates. humour is a plus for me, but we are all different. good luck.

[saintpeter48]

i'll date you, i'll make you laugh, im considerate and single, i eat well and i walk most days ...... negative is that im 66. :)

[Dee Sa]

sorry to disagree with the majority, one date does not give you a proper insight, try one more and let him choose here to go, and at the end of the night if he still hasnt won you over with his plus points then tell him -this is going nowhere and remain friends.

[joeluke]

No physical attraction = no attraction

[browntrout]

just set out to have fun. If he isn't fun to be with, don't bother. the only reason to get married is to have someone to watch television with when you are old. you can put off deciding who that will be with for a while.

[BeautifulMind]

I'd love to get married to have children. But then I think there is sperm donation for that. At the moment with the guys I've dated I am considering it.