No Birthday Gift From My Boyfriend.

[sam100]

Hi everyone,

Can I ask your opinion?

On Saturday it was my birthday (31st) and I did not receive a gift from my boyfriend of four and a half months. Am I right to feel a bit put out?

The night before my birthday he asked me what I wanted and I (feeling embarrassed to be put on the spot at such a late stage) said don't worry about it. On Saturday morning when I got back to my house there was a card from him which was nice.

I then went for lunch with my family and he joined us after. Still no gift, we went to the shops and got something nice to eat for dinner (we stayed in). We did pop by Neals Yard as he wanted to pick up some items and he did buy me some lavender oil after I said that I needed some. However, he carried the bag out of the shop and as far as I know that bag is still sitting in the hallway of his house.

So that was it...

I feel a bit ashamed to expect a gift but that's what people do isn't it? And even if you're not sure you buy flowers or chocolate. I don't doubt that my boyfriend loves me but how to communicate that he ballsed up this one? Or do I just let it go.

(For the record when it was his birthday a week after we first met I turned up at his party with a bottle of gift wrapped vintage port from Harvey Nichols. It's also not a money issue as he bought himself several other things whilst we were out shopping on Saturday and I know what's in his bank account)

[VHG]

>>> He asked what you wanted and you said don't worry.

Yes but the night before her birthday.

He sounds like the sort of man that does not understand or appreciate how important these sort of things are for women.

I regularly buy my wife flowers and gifts, even when it is not her birthday or any other particular event.

However my wife's sister's husband has never bought her flowers in the 15 years they have been married.

A year or so back it was mother's day and she made a comment that it would be nice if he bought some nice food from M&S and cooked it for her and the children.

He then said "does it have to be M&S food?", at which point he went and fell asleep on their bed and she never got her meal.

So she went to a Fish and Chip shop and came round to our house with the kids and ate it, leaving him on his own.

That was the last straw for her, and since then their marriage has gone from bad to worse and I think they may split up later this year.

So if your man is like that then you know what you have in store if you stay with him.

[Quizmonkey]

How many names are you posting this question under?

[Quizmonkey]

Apologies - I'm going mad...

[NICA]

I wouldnt 2 hoots wether i got a gift or not from the old man he does buy me wonderful cards though but heres a simple solution buy yourself something at least that way it something you want

[Baldric]

After 4½ months ///I know what's in his bank account/// you sound like a gold digger to me!

[Psybbo]

For goodness sake,why didn't you just say DIAMONDS?

[albaqwerty]

Thanks, Balders, I was trying to put it a little less succinctly :D

The night before he aasked you what you wanted, you said not to worry about it, so he didn't.
He went to the trouble of hand-delivering (I presume) a card , unless your post arrives early.

[Sqad]

Poor old sam100 and what is more devastating for you.....you never even got a "Happy Birthday" thread on Answerbank.

Life is tough for you at the moment.

[Mamyalynne]

It's the old adage, be careful what you wish/ask for, in this case nowt!


Gifts have never bothered me one iota.

[Zeuhl]

If sam did use the words 'don't worry about it'

that doesn't necessarily mean 'don't get me anything'

if i really couldn't think what to get someone special, asked them and was told 'don't worry about it'

that would be the go-ahead to default to flowers or something similarly 'worry free'

[Sqad]

I would guess.......just a guess........that the symptoms may suggest that you are soon to be his ex-girlfriend...........just a guess.

[Bazile]

and I know what's in his bank account[i

]After 4½ months ///I know what's in his bank account/// you sound like a gold digger to me[i]

Well a girl has to think to the future - has he got money to make it worth marring him .

[Bazile]

why doesn't italics work properly ?

[Svejk]

//// has he got money to make it worth marring him ///

had a bad experience, did you, bazile?

[jno]

only one set per post, Bazile

[AlwaysConfused]

Let it go, and the next time you are a little shy to say what you would like, tell him to surprise you.

[Bazile]

had a bad experience, did you, bazile?

No , wer'e still together after all those years , even though i'm a pauper

[jno]

Mrs Zeuhl is a lucky lady; but if Mr Sam is more literal-minded he'll have taken the OP at her word. I don't think it's a big deal but sam100 can start preparing her Christmas strategy now.

[Bazile]

thanks jno - didn't know that

[Retrochic]

Isn't it a bit strange that after 4 months into a relationship you know how much is in his Bank Account? Stranger still why would you want to know? Honestly, 'what would you like for your birthday' does not warrant a 'don't worry about it' answer. If there's a next time just say 'oh surprise me.' To be honest, no gift and no dinner out for your birthday (I bet you cooked did you?) he would be out on his ear.