Too Soon?

[rowanwitch]

I loved Dave with all my heart but after 15 months the loneliness is almost unbearable. I don't want to replace him but is it too soon to look for male (or female) company. I would probably try online dating , but carefully.

[naomi24]

No, it is not too soon. Life goes on. I wish you all the best.

[SparklyKid]

Not too soon, no. No joy in being alone. Does your local paper contain a section for people looking for a partner.

[Bobbisox1]

No, it isn’t, if your lonely and need company you go for it, it has nothing at all to do with anyone else, it’s your life, not theirs

[calmck]

Loneliness is not good. It is not too early to look for friendship. Dave will always be in your heart. You are not replacing but adding a friendship. Don’t give too much away on any site until you are comfortable with friendly chats. Take care and enjoy

[ummmm]

No, not at all and I'm sure Dave wouldn't want you to be feeling lonely.

[naomi24]

Just a word of caution though. If you're lonely you're vulnerable. Before becoming too involved make sure that anyone you meet is what he appears to be.

[Mamyalynne]

Friendship, companionship and who knows even love are too precious to be locked away.

Share your life and you know he would be happy for you.x

[anneasquith]

Many people like being in a relationship ( a couple) others are quite content to stay on their own. What advice would your husband give you ?

[woofgang]

If you feel you want to then its not too soon. Naomi is dead right about the vulnerability thing. I would suggest joining local interest groups before trying online as there is less risk there.

[jennyjoan]

A friend of mine has found love after 6 years of being on her own - she started to go to ballroom dancing and met him there. Now he has moved in to her home. She is 71 years of age. Whatever floats your boat Rowan - go for it.

[sunny-dave]

It’s not too soon - you’d know if it was and wouldn’t even have let the thought cross your mind.

I’ve always thought that ‘dating’ sites put a lot of pressure on that first meeting - but then my harem on AB may say otherwise ...

[Rockrose]

My dad started dating 5 months after my mother died and was married 9 months later.
My sister was against it but I just wanted him to be happy and he was for 11 years,

[rowanwitch]

Thanks for the support and advice,

[Sqad]

First of all, I commend you for posting in Relationship and Dating, most people now put their problems and indeed anything else in CB....so well done rowan.

Dave wasn't the first love of your life and he may not be the last.
Dave is dead........I am not suggesting that you forget him, as that just won't happen, but you now have to face the facts that you need male company and almost certainly...sex.
When you meet someone, please, do not compare him with Dave.....cus he wont be Dave and why should he.
Dating sites may well be the answer, but as mentioned above ...be careful, as you might meat the "wrong kind" whatever that may be.

I am not a fan of clubs, bridge club, gardening club.......possible.....but may take too long to meet someone.

Unless you are resigned and choose, do not go into old age....alone.

Good luck.

[Patsy33]

I think you're ready for a new relationship, but please, be careful, like you mentioned. All the best.

[Mozz71]

Its only too soon if you think it is. Sometimes you have to take the plunge and go for it.

[LadyCG]

No, it's not too soon. Dave wouldn't want you to be lonely.

I'd say look for companionship first, relationship second. If they're the right sort, they'll be patient.

[dannyk13]

Unfortunately, I think that Rowan will always compare any male companion with Dave.

[pixie374]

It's never "too soon" if you are ready now. Look after yourself though xx

[emmie]

all the best in your quest, and no i don't feel it's too soon. I wish that i was brave enough, though i now have in the last three years a good friend who came through a Befriender scheme - she wanted to reach out to someone older in the community and luckily she came to me, we are best pals now.