WHy?

[Roughquest]

Had a great weekend with a guy Ive been seeing for only a week, he is younger than me, but he said he was so into me from the moment we met, he is lovely but now he has just left to drive a long way to his work and we have just had a great sunday lunch together, then he just kept going on about work and the long drive he has to do,so he has just dropped me back to my house and gone, he kissed me goodbye and that is it....why do guys do this, they are all over us ladies one minute and playing it cool the next....i dont know how to read this, after all the wonderful texts how he feels about me...we got on so well I thought, maybe i have read too much into it as usual.

[country_boy]

So he talked about work and the drive to work which was probably on his mind as he had to go. Hardly playing it cool - just sounds like his mind was occupied. Everything sounds pretty normal to me!

[China Doll]

Hi Rough,

Tend to agree with Country_boy here, perhaps you're reading too much in to it or trying to move too fast. He came a long way to see you so he obvioulsy wanted to but he has to get back to work.

I can be like this with my friends if I'm in london and have to travel back here on a Sunday. I may want to stay longer but I know I have to get back and be ready to get to work tomorrow, it sucks but that's life.

And he kissed you before he left, doesn't sound like he's cooling off. Maybe he wants to wait a bit before going further?

Chin up, doesn't sound like all is lost yet. Hope it all works out for you xx

[dot.hawkes]

Hey, maybe the whole scenario of the sunday lunch and the feet under the table frightened him off, men are not naturally nesters

[Roughquest]

He suggested going out for lunch....which is what we did.

[noxlumos]

Nothing odd there love, that's exactly how I treat my wife who I adore if I'm busy and have a long way to travel. He sounds dead on the nail normal to me. Relax.

[havinmysay]

well what did u expect him to do? not go to work

[Pippa68]

As the others have said, sounds normal to me!

I know if I try to speak to M P when work is on his mind I may as well be 200 miles away...but I know he adores me :o)

[1sleepychik]

unfortunately, work is indeed work. can u maybe send him a sweet text, let him know u are thinking of him? don't sound too clingy or anything of course.

[Roughquest]

He sent me a long text from him which read 'this must be quite difficult for you as I know you are looking for someone to spend a lot more time with, in addition to the age gap u may think our priorities are different, alongside all that having enjoyed the weekend you are wondering whether to hang in there'. Meaning ???? He did call me and we had a chat and put the world to rights, but Im still unclear - I do know what I want and its him and I have told him, he is everything I want thus far, he sent texts last night telling me he missed me, and other nice things...he has phoned me today for a short time which was nice, but then cut it short again to get some dinner...it all seems bery abrupt still. Perhaps he has a split personality. LOL.

[China Doll]

Sounds to me like he's just trying to let you know that he understands there may be obsiticals to the relationship but that he's hoping you hang in there m'dear.

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, seems your too obsessed with this guy. Give him some space. he rang and text you didnt he?Maybe he only got a short lunch break cos he was late in. I think your expecting too much from the lad. It seems like he is making an effort, but its not good enough for you. He will feel too cramped soon and the pressure will get to him. Use your experience and try to realise he is not your ex. maybe you should talk about why you have all these insecure feelings. I guess your last relationship was ended by a fault on your partners behalf(possibly cheating) and your trying to stop it from happening again. From what your telling so far, he doesnt seem like he can win. He will soss out you are comparing him to your ex soon you know. You was obviously hurt bad, but hey, life goes on and not all people are like ex's...

[-Zorro-]

he doesnt like your cooking

[Roughquest]

Dont quite understand MrBens or Zorros answers. Oh well, not obsessed or insecure thanks, independent maybe and looking out for me that's all. Yes I may feel vulnerable but that is due to the age thing of which I have accepted that now. I dont hound him or constantly say I miss him and all that jazz, Im cool about it, and I am prepared to hang in there regardless.

[Roughquest]

No - I have had enough now, have just been on the phone to him for 40 minutes, and all he talked about was work work work work.......i was about to nod off, i tried several times to change the subject but the guy is very sad, for someone so young and the prospect of being with someone so gorgeous as me and all he can talk tome about is mergers and acquisitions ! What is wrong with him, we ended up getting into a debate about why people go to work for christ sake - he is only 23 - surely its unhealthy for him to work up to 16 hours a day ????? He is always tired, and always looking forward to going to bed, i never get a chance to talk about any other subject.. i am trying to supportive here but my gut feeling here is this poor guy isnt quite right in the head.....and that unfortunately has set alarmbells ringing! Time to call it a day with him, each to their own but at my age i still like to have a damn good time and have fun and i certainly dont live to work. I am so exhausted just having sat and listened to him drone on and on and on about his working day.

[Miss-read]

Hi Roughquest, dont give up on him just yet. I can understand your fustrations. But try and be a bit cool. I have been in a similar situation where b/f talked non stop about work. And seemed to give all his attention to his work.

Whats the age gap difference, if you dont mind me asking?

[mandimoo]

sounds to me like he may be pretty keen on you. ok, so all he talked about was work, but if that is all he has done since he last saw you, then what else to say? if he hadnt phoned you would feel unhappy that he was too cool. i reckon he just found an excuse to call and talked about the only thing he could. at 23 he may even be worried that hes falling so quick for an older woman. in my experience younger men can make very loyal relationships. at 29 i started seeing a 18 year old, and it lasted over 4 years so i have some experience of it and still think of my ex with great fondness - although he completely did my head in in the end! hope things settle for you - one way or another xxx

[asteroid99]

Sounds like he likes you but he's a workaholic.

Funnily enough I've just been dumped by a 23 year old (also younger than me) cos he was too busy with work. His loss!

[PinkFizz]

You've only been seeing him a week - give him a chance!!

[country_boy]

My gut feeling is you're not right in the head!! You seem obsessed - you told the bloke you know what you want and it's him. Then you moan that he talks about his work and you're going to knock it on the head. It's only been a week and you're analysing everything he says and does. Poor bloke! Perhaps when you meet the next chap you should take a more chilled/aloof approach. You sound rather more needy than you think you are.

[Roughquest]

Yes I know, but I have not heard anything from him at all today. Shall I leave him to contact me, not that he will. LOL.