i'm sick of it!!!!! :'(

[bobbikay]

my friend ALWAYS ditches me for her boyfriend. it happened again just a few minutes ago. it hurts. i just feel like getting revenge. she bums smokes off me all the time, so i feel like just cutting her off and saying, "payback's a bi+ch!" but i know that probably, once again, i'll just take it up the tail pipe and forgive her. i can't hold grudges, and that's usually a good thing, but i don't want her to get away with it. she's like one of my best friends, and i'm thinking, if i can't trust her, then who can i trust? i've NEVER ditched her before, so what makes her think that she can ditch me on the weekend, and then come crawling back for a smoke on Monday? i'm just a time-filler and i know it. so, should i:

A) get revenge,
B) forgive her, or
C) exclude her from my life?

[caz247]

I don't understand why you think you can't trust her
what exactly has she done to make you mistrust her
surely as a 17 year old you have plenty of other friends
to hang around with that are not with their boyfriends.
I think you have a lot of anger from your previous post
which is why you think like this. Life is not a
dress rehearsal you know.

caz x

[noxlumos]

You need to calm down and get everything in your life in perspective bobbi love. This doesn't matter. It's irritating but irrelevant. You do seem full of anger and upset all the time, so my advice ( as someone whose suffered from the same thing in his time) is to go off and find yourself a bit more. I know you've got issues at home, but don't , whatever you do, allow those to spill over in the way you perceive the world or you'll have a very negative life. Just relax and let your friends do whatever they want to and don't judge them or yourself too harshly.

[bobbikay]

i just put up with WAY too much sh*t. i'm sick of ppl taking me for granted. and all u ppl seem to think that since im young, i don't know anything. well, even though i am 17, i am capable of thought. so ur saying that it's perfectly alright for a friend to promise they're not gonna ditch u, and then as soon as their bf comes, they drop everything and leave. maybe i'm crazy, but i think if someone lies to u on a regular basis, it's kinda hard to trust them n e more. and no, i don't have any other friends becuz nobody understands me. and so what if i think it's wrong to have sex without love and CARE if my friends hurt me. that doesn't make me naieve. i treat ppl how they treat me. what is the world coming to? and personally, i sometimes think u guys make a CONSCIOUS EFFORT to disagree with everything i say. "i'm young, i don't know anything". i came to this website for ADVICE, (i thought that's what this site was for), not to be picked apart by a bunch of complete strangers. i now will leave u to ur contradictive, sex infested lives. i'm outta here! u know i'm usually a VERY nice person, ask abybody. but it's kinda hard to be nice when ppl are insulting all of ur values and principles and telling u ur full of anger when ur not. all the advice i got from this site was: go have sex, it's okay. and it's okay for ur friends to treat u like sh*t. and don't care about what ur friends do. THANKS ALOT!!! i feel SO complete! i don't know where all u ppl are from, but here in Canada, ppl are A LOT nicer.

[vehelpfulguy]

You say you put up with too much. This is because you are LETTING yourself put up with too much.

Your friend bums fags off you all the time. This is because you LET her.

You are trying too hard to be nice to her (and other people)

If you bought the fags then next time she asks for one say NO, buy your own. Or say how about I bum one off you for a change.

[ummmm]

If you don't want the opinions of other AB users then I think it's about time you stopped posting here and get yourself a diary! That way you can answer your own questions.

people have taken time out to read your posts, think about it and respond.

Maybe you should appreciate that!

[Pippa68]

I agree, ummmm.

There is no point in me posting my opinion as this person is bound to disagree with everything anyone says..

[sophie_1003]

i had a big problem with my friend when I was 17 (im 19 now), she was always putting me down and basically slagging me off to my face...one time I just got so fed up of it I had a MASSIVE go at her...at the time it felt great and I'm still kind of glad I did it but I also regret it cos it meant we just drifted apart and we were such great friends and I know it could never be the same now... so I would say try and have a word with her...maybe write her a letter just to explain to her how its making u feel...she might not even realise what shes doing if shes really wrapped up in her boyfriend! But I would definitely say no to options A and C, you never know when you're going to lose you're mates...to uni, moving house or schools etc so its best to sort everything out before its too late!

[bobbikay]

thank u vehelpfulguy & sophie. i think i am just going to forgive her, as i can't stay mad for long :) i have written her a letter, but it sounds really cheesy so i don't think i'm going to give it to her, but i will definitley tell her how i feel. as for the smokes, i don't know yet. it's getting kinda expensive supporting her habit anyways, but it's hard to say know cuz i know how it feels to need a cigarette and not have one. as i said, i'm way too nice, although i may not sound like it in my above post ^. i just want advice that will help me, not simply "ur overreacting" and "you should let ur friends do whatever they want" i let my friends do what they want to some extent, but it's not like i'm gonna sit back and watch them drink and drive or something. i do care about my friends, and i NEVER get mad at them because i get over things too fast. i may come accross as an angry, bitter person sometimes on this site, but i guess it's just easier to get mad at ppl u don't know. actually, i guess i get a kind of cheap thrill by b1tching at ppl who tell me i'm wrong. but thank u for ur answers helpfulguy & sophie, i think i will follow that advice and forgive her, but i might politely ask her to find a diff way of getting smokes. i mean, she DOES have a boyfriend, and he smokes. this isn't my way of getting revenge, but i really can't afford to be paying $40 a month just for HER to smoke.

[Pippa68]

So you came back then?

[sophie_1003]

ur welcome bobbikay! I think what u have to remember about this site is that there are a LOT of people who come on pretending to be real people with real problems but are really just on here to wind people up so anything that u say that comes across as slightly bitchy is sort of under scrutiny to see if u are genuine or just winding people up, especially cos ur names still in green so everyone knows ur new and arent quite yet sure of what ur like! plus, dont get too offended by peoples answers which seem to be insulting u, most peoples advice comes from their own opinions so ur bound to come across some opions u dont agree with, just answer really nicely saying "not sure i agree with u but thanks for ur help!" (even if ur sat there in ranting and raving to the pc screen!) then people will feel valued and mite even give u an answer u want in the future! hope u get things with ur mate sorted anyway!

[bobbikay]

thanx! by the way, i'm not making up any of my problems. i guess i just have a lot of them lol :oD. and from now on, i'll try to control my fury of answers i don't like. everyone is entitled to their opinion and some ppl probably don't like my opinions either. :) take care!

[Loosehead]

Give up smoking then she won't be able to bum smokes off you!

[bobbikay]

good point, loosehead! :D