What do i do??????

[sungirl]

I recently brokeup with my bf of 9 months after supporting him leading up to a court trial where he potentially is going to prison. The relationship was fantastic right up until he got arrested then it all fell apart. He changed almost overnight - he has become very distant and unresponsive - never calling hardly ever seeing me. He says its because his life is potentally over and he just wants to be on his own and he has nothing to offer anyone. He has also been diagnosed with depression. Do i take these signs as that he is no longer interested in me or that he is acting this way because of his depression and awaiting trial? Do I hang in there???

[natalie_1982]

How old are you both? Also, how longhad you been together prior to his arrest? Lastly, if the relationship was that solid, what was he doing to be arrested?

I would say to write him a letter saying that you understand that he has a lot on his mind and needs some space right now but that you will be there for him, in any way that you can and that he only needs to let you know and you'll be there.

[chicklin]

You need to ask yourself what you want now.
Do you want to stand by him regardless?
Have you considered how the relationship will change if he does go to prison?
I would say the change in his attitude is due to the sudden change in his circumstances - he probably wouldnt be telling you its all over otherwise.
Can you live with whatever it is he's charged with doing?
Where you go from here depends on your answers to these and probably other similar questions.

[sungirl]

If he goes away i know there will be no relationship I just worry and he he does not go away he still will not want things to continue with me and make a fresh start of everything. I love him and I believe whole heartedly in his innocence. I just don't know how to play this? Give him the space? Show him I'm here? At the moment he just wants to bury himself in a beer glass and going out with his mates. I'm just worried that I could support him and still face not getting him back.

[chicklin]

Difficult one this............If it were me I would try to have a good long talk with him to sort out exactly where you stand.
I'd want to find out if there is any chance of this relationship continuing whether he goes to jail or not.
Seems like there is unfinished business between you.
If he's drowning his sorrows you'll have to pick your moment for this chat or you still wont have the answers you need, but i think you need the opportunity to put your side of this to him and get his response.
Hope you sort it out one way or the other. Maybe the relationship has just come to a natural end and its time to move on? But you wont know till you hear what he has to say.......

[cartman99]

So many emotions running around here, at some point you have to be selfish and think about yourself.

You cant turn the clock back, you live in the here and now, its spoilt and you know why, reconcile it, understand it and move on.