OK, my view is that it's a mind thing. Yes, women do generally find it more difficult than men to orgasm, but with all the pressure you're being made to feel about the issue is just complicating the matter.
I think you should try communicating a bit more with each other. You've reached orgasm by yourself, so you know what it is that gets you there, He needs to know this and start applying similar techniques. What he has to learn as well is to make love to your mind before even thinking about your body. Get you relaxed about things in so much if it happens then great and if not, then it's no big deal. Needs to make you feel desirable and the most special person on this earth. Have you feel that the intimacy you share is the greatest pleasure going. Get it all right and everything will fall into place.
Key thing though, is that he may become successful by doing this, but has to be aware that it may not work every single time. If it doesn't happen, then there's nothing wrong with either of you, and is just one of those things.