bf going on holiday

[jen85]

is anyone elses boyfriends going away over summer? today im feeling really down and cant stop thinking about him going away with his mates. i wont b seeing him for 3 weeks as im away for two weeks with my family and he goes half way through my holiday. there r about 9 of them going and basically its for a 2 week **** up. i know that i can trust him i just cant stop thinkin about what would happen if they met another group a girls. when he has a drink i often look after him as he is out of it completly and im worried about him not knowing what he is doing. he used to smoke but gave up last year but all of he's other mates do and im concerned that he will begin again whilst he is away. to make matters worse his ex gf of 3 years who he split with just before getting with me is going to be there at the same time on a girls holiday. i dont think it can get any worse. im making myself so down by thinking about it so much :o( anyone else in the same situation? x

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, so what is the difference with you going away with your family and him going away?
I think your being a little selfish.
I dont know how old you are, but why cant you go on holiday together, or maybe still with your family but both go...

[jen85]

they difference is im with my mum and dad and he is gonna b out with 9 mates getting drunk and god knows each night. i dont think thats me being selfish, im just worried! think it comes with being a girl :o( im 22. my bf and i have been on holiday twice together and r planning a holiday away for next april if we can save up in time. i asked him to come away with me this summer but he is going with his mates and didnt wanna miss out. im just overly sensitive i guess, but cant help but feel down about it all. also gonna miss him so much

[Alixw]

Hey, I'm in more or less the same situation as you. I'm 22 as well and my boyfriend is going away in August with all of his friends.
He's been away before with his friends and I've been fine with it, but for some reason this year I am a bit nervous about it!!
A lot of his friends have GFs too, but a few of them cheat on them. And I know that all they are interested in when they go out is talking to girls!!
I'm counting on the fact that he's going to be so out of it on the drink that he won't be able to talk to girls! lol!!

I don't actually think he would do anything and i do trust him, but it's the not knowing what he may get up to that annoys me! How i'd love to be a fly on the wall on that holiday!!

If i were in your situation though, I couldnt help but be a little worried about his ex being in the same place - although if she lives locally to him now there isn't a lot of difference in the chances of him seeing her.

Don't get yourself too down about it though, I'm sure we're both worrying about nothing! Your boyfriend is with you now for a reason, not his ex, so just think about that. And imagine how good it will be between the two of you once you see each other again after those 3 weeks!! ;)

Hope I helped?!

[jen85]

thanks for your reply :o)

sounds like u have all the same concerns as me. how long have u been with your bf? iv been with mine for about 14 months now and its the first time he has been away with his mates since iv known him. 3 of his mates are also with girls and i dont think that they would cheat on their gf's but the rest of them are not attached and like ur bf's mates going out there to chat up lots of girls. what makes it worse is that it seems like everyone is going on holiday there this year so basically its thousands of youngsters around about our age in the same place. i know that him and his ex wont b up to anything i just hate the thought of them having a chat together in a bar let alone alcohol being involved.

your right im sure we r both worrying about nothing! its just horrible thinking about the possibilities of what could b happening even though i know in my mind that he wouldnt mess me about. just insecurities i guess. thanks for being so understanding. x

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, i understand where your coming from, but these guys who are going away are going as a group of mates.
Of course they are gonna have fun with girls.
I think you need to explain to him that he should have done all the hollidaying with the lads when he was single.

[Alixw]

I've been with him for about 3 and a half years now - he's 25. Wonder if they are going to the same place - mine is going to Kavos?

Him and his mates are getting on a bit now - some are 27/28 and I thought that was quite old to be going on a greek island holiday - but apparantly not!! I've only recently started noticing how much his group of friends are interested in girls and looking at them and stuff - when i'm out I don't really pay any attention to blokes, but like you say, I suppose it's cos we're girls or something like that!

It is insecurities on both our parts, but I don't think we have them for no reason - his ex will be there, he said he wanted to go away with the boys and not with you - its understandable how you're feeling. I made my boyfriend promise we would go away later in the year, and we've booked something now so I can let him off slightly! lol!

Maybe have chat with him about it and tell him what you're thinking - i know that's a lot harder than it sounds. Or maybe say something to him like 'how do you feel about your ex being there at the same time as you?' 'Do you think it will be awkward if you bump into each other?' Make it more about him than you and you may get more of an honest answer?
What i'd prob do though is make more of a joke out of it and tell him he better not forget about me when he's out there, etc - try to have a laugh with it.

[Alixw]

MrBen5, when you say of course they are going to have fun with girls - in what way do you mean?

Do you think that's the case even for the ones who are in relationships?

[MrBen5]

i mean in the way when a group of lads go on holiday together. Come on, you girls know what its like when two groups of women and men get together.
Hopefully your guys are stong willed and would never cheat, but when all their mates are egging them on and convincing them that they could never get caught, its pretty hard for these young lads not to join in.

[Le Chat]

You have absolutely no control over what your boyfriend gets up to whilst he is away and that is the practical reality of the situation. What you do have control over, is how you decide to think about it both beforehand and whilst he is away. Notice how I said decide.....because it is really up to you. You can choose to believe that he is going to get up to all sorts, in which case you will be in constant turmoil or you can just let hom get on with enjoying his hol and don't torture yourself with your imagination! Either way, you will never know what actually did happen on his holiday, so don't let him go away on a sour note by going on at him beforehand.
Also, his ex girlfriend is his ex - if they get back with each other, then they don't have to go on holiday to do that! If you are worried about a drunken s**g between the two of them....then I'm sure that that would be one piece of info that will reach your ears after his return. If it did happen and you found out, then you would have to make a choice whether you could live with the humiliation or not.......

[Trinny]

Not a very helpful reply there was it MrBen5.. So what if their single men want to egg these girls boyfriends on. Surely if the boyfriends loved them then they wouldn't want to sleep with some slapper on her hols?

Everything is sex orientated, what happened to just having a holiday, getting away, getting a suntan, and having a laugh. Without everything sex. Geez, they are only going away for a couple of weeks, surely they can keep their d*cks in their pants for that long!

Try not to worry Jen xx

[4getmenot]

Doesn�t bother me I�m not in a relationship where I see him every night anyway, he has his time with mates I have mine, its good that way. One thing that�s upset me a bit is that he�s away on his birthday but that�s through work for a week. I have been asked to go on hols with my mate and four other boys and I�m sure my bloke wouldn�t mind.

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, sorry Trinny, but i always answer honestly. I dont just say things to make the other person feel better. Someone asks a question, then i will answer in honesty, not just tell someone what they want to hear.
Just because a guy has sex on holiday, doesnt mean the girls a slapper. She might be a very repectable girl, who, unknowingly is getting to know a single guy...

[ummmm]

I think it's pathetic.

[lucylocket69]

Slip a little sexy pic of yourself in his suitcase....he'll soon be gagging to come home :)

[MrBen5]

I totally agree with you ummm. the guy should be holidaying with his girlfriend. Not his mates...

[Alixw]

MrBen5 - if you were in a relationship and on holiday with your friends, do you think yuo could be persuaded into doing something with a girl because your friends talked you into it?

By the sounds of it, you prob wouldn't be going away on a friends holiday if you had a girlfriend, but hypothetically?

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, i cant really answer that Alix. As you say, if i had a partner i would have the decency to go on holiday with them. Or maybe as couples, then go out seperate over there, but meet up after.
I am 32, but when i was young i did all the holidaying with mates, etc. I do know what its like. I would never cheat, but i had the chance to and had all the pressure on me to do so...

[ummmm]

lol Ben....you know what I meant.

[MrBen5]

i know ummm ;)

[jen85]

my bf is going to kos. i tried telling him y'day that i was feeling a bit down and he didnt really pick up on it. he has said before that i have nothing to worry about but then he turns around and says how much he is looking forward to it especially going out on the town and getting wasted with his mates. i tried to speak to him today and really i think if we just sat down and he gave me some reassurance then ill b ok but its difficult trying to approach the subject without seeming like im whinging and being a pain. im sure he wouldnt cheat on me as only last week he was saying about findin a place together and even joked about getting me a ring, but i cant help but worry. i want to be able to go on my holiday and enjoy myself not constantly worry about him. i know i should block it out of my mind and get on with it without letting my imagination get the better of me but thats easier said than done sometimes. just want us both to go away now and get it over with, its horrible having a big build up towards it. thanks for replies, i appreciate your advice x