Love

[d.i.v.a.]

How do you know when it's love and not just excitement and happiness and enjoyment from being with that person? I mean, what makes it different that you know this is what you are really feeling? How do you really know for sure?

[radiogaga]

i knew when i got a slappy sick feeling in my stomach every time i thought of him. when he touched me i melted, on my mind every minute of every day. i had never felt like that for anyone - ever. a chemistry, connection..

[leighkaty]

yes but how long is that supposed to last because i have been with my boyfriend for 7 yrs and that feeling isnt their any more i wish it was, i did meet someone who i had that feeling with recently (nothing happened honest) and i dont know why i felt like i did about this person and still do

[pikk]

I think it lasts as long as you want it really, ive been with my partner for 12 years & still go all mushy when i look at him etc. . .

[Sasha13]

d.i.v.a. - to me the feelings described by radiogaga could (not always) be just infatuation and are often there in the beginning, fading out as you get to know that person.

leighkaty - the reason you felt like this over the new person was just that - because they were new.

To me, love is more than chemistry, although that would have to be there in the first place. For me, love is a feeling where you know that person better than anyone else. You know their good points and bad - and love them anyway without wanting to change them. It's about feeling so strongly about someone that you're willing to compromise over things you may not have been before. It's almost total trust in someone. It's making yourself vunerable and having that returned. It's about being yourself with that person and not feeling that you have to change to suit them - they love you for who you are too! It's lots of other things too, but for me, that's the gist of it.

[deardeirdre]

I think 'sasha 13' has said it spot-on!

[legend758duo]

sasha wise words.

though i would go as far as to say it is total trust of someone and of you by them.

because without total trust there would be suspicion and doubt.

which dont help in love.

[d.i.v.a.]

Thank you for the responses so far.

Sasha you are so right. What you say makes a lot of sense.

I have been in love before and we were together for 10 years, but I was very young when we met and love seemed so much simpler back then.

Now I'm with someone new and we have that whole excitement thing going on and I'm just confused how to decipher my feelings after everything I've been through over the years.

Is it still love if you have all the feelings for that person, can totally be yourself in a way you never have before, trust and care so much for that person... but don't necessarily see a longterm future?? (more a 'see what happens approach')

[leighkaty]

sasha13, not been on here for a while so you may not even read this but i thought id fallen out of love with my boyfriend of 7 yrs but everything you have just described-the trust, knowing eachother so well, feeling comfortable around them etc etc still goes on in our relationship but minus the butterflies and excitement may be thats the joys of having 3 children and no time for us (which to be honest im not bothered about spending time with him-sounds awful i know) i just dont know if im with him coz of the kids or what even tho i know id hate it if he met someone else, i think also that feeling how i felt about this other person has made me realise i want all that back the newness, can you get that back do you think? some of my friends have been with their partners longer than i have and they still get the butterflies etc, i dont know what to do