Age Differences - Do They Really Matter In The End?

[CactusButtus]

Okay, love is blind, and to top that off, with me, it can't count either. I have been with my partner for just over a year now. Don't get me wrong, I love him to death, so that's not what I'm here to talk about. My partner and I have a 'little' bit of an age difference... okay, a HUGE age difference.
I'm the kind of person that looks at people for who they are, rather than judging them by their age, physical state etc. I am attracted to my partner physically, mentally and emotionally. Ever since him and I got together, my family has had a hard time accepting it... in fact, they have expressed loud and clear that they never will accept it. That's fair enough and I accept that. By now, you're probably really wanting to know how big the age gap is. Well, my partner and I have a nice big age gap of 35 years. Yes, that's right... when you work it all out in your head, it doesn't look very good.
I'm a little sick of all the criticism I get because of the age difference, and there's nothing I can do about the gap. I do understand the way society thinks and reacts but what ever happened to 'as long as you love him/her, that's all that matters'?

Jaymee-Lee

[4getmenot]

Dont really see point in question you said you love him to death, so there you go, what does it matter.

[Goodsoulette]

I suppose for starters it would be interesting just to know how old you both were and if you are the young one then do you really fancy being on your own again at 40 or 50.

My nans third husband was 35 years older and he was a lovely man. i camn truely see why she loved him, but 5 years after their relationship started he started to become senile, he got bad quickly and her life became very sad.

[johnlambert]

Im 17 years older than my wife, and we encountered the same problems you just mentioned Jaymee, (the fact that she was just 17, and i was married to someone else didn't help either), her family refused to speak to me, things stayed pretty much like that until our son was born, they even refused to come to our wedding reception after coming to the wedding!!! but in time, things started to change little by little, her Dad still sees me as the evil old b4stard who stole his daughters virginity, but at least he accepts that we are together.

[jno]

people will always feel, deep down, that it's odd. But if you find pleasure in each other's company, that will always outweigh the displeasure of others. You'll be aware, though, that it will not last as long as other people's relationships, and that one of you will be alone again in middle age. That goes with the territory and you should try to make plans for it. Good luck

[taliesin238]

Age gaps really dont mean anything!! Sure people from different generations can have completely different outlooks and views on life. However it differes from individual to individual!! Some of my best friends are in their 60's im just begining my 30's. Im looking for an older man myself someone who has already done that, been there, finished their messing around and knows what its all about!! Does that make sense??

[Psychick]

There is 22 years between me and my ex ( me being the younger one). The thing I always found hardest at first was when people would mistake him for my father but you soon get used to it.
When we split, it had nothing to do with the age gap but when I look back I can see it would never have lasted anyway and that is because of the gap.
At the end of the day though, everyone and every relationship is different. If you two are in love and happy being with each other, thats all that matters!

[Goodsoulette]

For Johns very reasons that why I was interested about the age gap. If I had a seventeen year old daughter and she went off with a 30 plus man I would do everything in my power to ensure she didnt stay with him. There are things a 17 year old should do, other than be settling down.

[Reverandfunk]

So when you are 35 and they are 70 that won't be an issue? You will want to go out on the town and he'll be deaf and in bed by half 7.

Age shouldn't be an issue but it is hence the above point.

[B00]

Have to agree with the Rev for once here!

I genuinely believe that whilst that big a gap might not matter now, I bet it will in a few years time.

[CactusButtus]

Thanks for all your input.

4getmenot - very true. Just wanted others opinions.

Goodsoulette - No need to gasp, but I am in fact 17. In Australia 16 is the age of consent as well as no longer being a minor, so my partner & I's relationship IS LEGAL. Me being 17 means yes, my partner is obviously the older one & yes he is indeed 52. I do realise that things between him & I may change & the relationship may deteriorate over time & when/if it happens, so be it. My parents have been there, done that. They are still fighting for me to give him up. "It's not that you CAN'T give him up, it's that you WON'T"... they say that more often than not. Maybe they are right, but whether they are or not, I love him & I can't and won't give him up.

Johnlambert - Obviously, being the age that I am currently means 'I don't know what I'm doing nor do I know what I am getting myself into'. To put it more simply, I'm just vulnerable (or, so most people say). My father doesn't know that my partner 'stole' my virginity... my mother knows & we don't speak about it.

jno - His love & company does outweigh the displeasures that come with the age gap. I just don't like the way I am judged because of my taste in men. I know deep down that'll I'll be lucky to have him for another 40 years, but it has taught me not to take anything for granted & if I only have him for the next week, I'll cherish it.

taliesin238 - Thank you! Ages are just numbers! All that it should determine is how long we have been on this earth. Forget everything else. Yep! I know what you mean... believe it or not. At my age it's obvious I don't wanna 'settle down' at this point in time, but once ya find ya soul mate, it's hard to let them go.

Psychick - Ahhh yes, the whole "Your father is waiting for you in the lobby" or (as I commonly get) "Your grandfather is next door for his blood test". LOL. I usually laugh & reply, "I prefer the

[Reverandfunk]

17 and he's 52?

I'm sorry but in my opinion thats a paedophile.

[Reverandfunk]

BOO - I'm always right lol

[CactusButtus]

Reverandfunk - I do understand that & I may well change my mind (as well as my taste in men) later on down the track. We'll just have to wait & see what happens. As the saying goes, "Only time will tell".

BOO - I am open to all possibilities but it is hard to fight such a strong feeling. I'm stubborn and extremely weak, all at the same time. LOL.

[CactusButtus]

Different country, different rules... is quite unfortunate in the end...

[B00]

Pffft Rev ;-) !!!!

Well obviously Cactus, it's your choice in life, and I hope it's making you happy. I think however, that us old duffers know that at 17, whilst your feelings are strong now, in a few years time, you'll grow up a heluva lot more and start getting 'itchy feet'. And like someone else has previously said, I do wonder why someone of 52 would want a 17 year old child (sorry, but in my eyes that's what you still are- a child)

[nannon]

i was about to say that age gaps dont matter depending on the age of the two people. I am 22 and my boyf is 34 - we are in love but i think i am mature enough to be in a relationship but when i was 17 i was with someone who was 35 - at the time i thought this was ok but now i see how totally wrong it was!!! We had nothing in common and i was so not ready for anything like that. He wanted sex i wanted love and though an older person could give that to me....i think it is sick due to the fact you are so young - nothing to do with laws of different countries or if your leagal at 16 - its about a man being with someone who is barely and adult.

[B00]

PS
I have a daughter of 18 (19 soon- gulp!) and I'd be devastated if she was seeing a man of that age.

[Goodsoulette]

Its the same here. A 17 year could legally be in a relationship with a 52 year old.

Oh good lord. Its your life and I really hope you dont end up regretting this but get out and have some fun. Hes not gonna wanna go travelling and sleeping on a beach, and bungee jumping or possibly even survive the Dehli belly you get from drinking rancid water in India.

I have to say I am more than a little shocked and I very much doubt the morals of a man hooking up with a child (sorry, but that is what you are) when hes in his 50s. I wouldn't think much more highly of it if you were in your early 20s but at least you would look a little more womanly. I know this all sounds harsh but its only coming from women who have your best interests in mind.

[nannon]

and if you have been with him for a little over a year how old were you when you met?? 15 or 16? Its very wrong

[CactusButtus]

Point taken - most of the world is one eyed, and he's a monster. Thank you.