Tired and concerned

[Roughquest]

Hi Folks, Boy do I miss this site and our little chats sooo much, I have moved in now with my new b/f, all is going fine, I love him to bits, he is lovely, BUT has some weird ideas, he asked about my jewellery the other day, my rings - I love rings, my fave jewellery and yes they were all made for me by my ex-husband, is it wrong to wear them ? I also wear the old engagement ring, its too valuable not to wear also its not easy to remove! But b/f had a complete paddy about it ! Another thing while we were moving my stuff out he came across an old photo of me and a guy, he had another paddy, he refuses to discuss my 'past' and seems to think I should never have been with another guy ! He hates me going on AB too - but I manage to sneak on now and again, why is he like this ????? I truthfully cant see this lasting very long as I am walking on eggshells as it is. I love him and want to get to the bottom of his issues. Do your partners mind you using the internet and AB?

[Roughquest]

Thanks Amber, you have summed it all up. Tonight I left him, after he admitted trawling through my mobile phone, looking at pictures and reading texts. I am in my empty house, no bed, nothing, no tv, i have my lap top which was in the boot of my car.

[radiogaga]

hope you are ok, at least you have laptop.. searching thru phones - you dont need that. take it easy. xxx

[rasmus]

Hi Roughquest,i also wear an old engagement ring because its valuable and i cant get it off.My fella is fine about it.His ring is on my wedding finger-thats the one that matters.I`m afraid,if your bloke is like this now,then he`s not gonna change.In fact,he`ll probably get worse.As for AB,my chap doesnt use it and certainly doesnt mind me using it.Cant see the harm,usually its just banter,its not as though youd actually meet anyone on here.

[ELVIS68]

Like I said before "Green Eyed Monster"..unless he gets help you are in for a life of misery...nothing you do will change that in him

[Roughquest]

My dear Leg End - if anything he has done all the pushing and rushing, HE said he loved me after a week, he said he could not live without me, HE said he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, HE also wants children with me, so its not me being fast. I just got swept along with his demands, his insecurities, I felt pressured into moving in with him, thinking it would all be fine. How wrong I was. He kept on asking if i loved him....constantly asking.
Thanks.

[Roughquest]

I did set the pace, he could never handle it if i wanted to have a night apart, or go out with my friends on a night out, i wanted the space, he could not handle it, end of.

[Roughquest]

A loving relationship is not about controlling a partner.

[4getmenot]

Jesus I just saw you dumped him, you�re a fast mover in everything concerned arent you. You should never be pushed into anything. Why did you feel the need to let him have everything? I admit when I first got with my new bloke he kept saying he loved me but I refused to say it till the time was right. And he definitely aint moving in yet. I like my space too much. But he likes his too, and relationships are about give and take. This boy has no reason to look through your stuff. Its not about having anything to hide its about respect. I think deep down you knew it wasn�t right and I hope you�re ok today.

[Reverandfunk]

Jewellery bought/made by an ex? Still wearing it after you split up? Big no no to me.

I always think of jewellery as personal and whilst I wouldnt go mad over it, I would question that persons need to still wear it.

[zpidaz]

I think you're well out of it. It's not your job to get to the bottom of his issues. He's obviously got issues that have nothing to do with you. Read "Women Who Love Too Much" if you want to see how and why women stay in relationships like that, trying to sort the guy out. It's good that you care enough about yourself to have extricated yourself right at the beginning.

[GavinH]

I still stick with my previous answer. Also your post Roughquest gave the impression that you had moved in with this man, not him moved in with you.

That not being the issue here. But in your reply you told me to re read the post. That it was your house etc, your stuff.

I think you were very insensitive wearing your engagement ring. And other jewellery given to you by your ex husband.

I think you need to work at the relationship if you want it to work. Not just run away, and then expect him to chase after you. I expect this is the case, and you are now both back together again. Or will be soon.

[sense4all]

Well I think you have done the right thing, better to be in an empty house than a relationship full of suspicion. I am married and Mr Sense has no problem with me being on here. I bought a house with the Mr. three months after we met, so speed of relationship is not a problem for me,it can work out - twenty years this year. ( Never been a smug, married - you have to do what is right for your sanity!!! ) Infact I always thought that I would not get married or have kids, but a career. Them's the beaks hun.

<< Big cyber hugs and a cuppa and Biccies for you. >>

[sense4all]

breaks even!

I swear they have a programme that takes a letter out at random once you press the submit button.

[Trinny]

Hiya Roughquest, blimey you do move quickly! Well, I think you should wear whatever jewellery you like, but I do think wearing your engagement ring when you are living with someone new, who you say you love is wrong. I am an insecure person, so telling it from that point of view maybe. But that aside, I do think its not right. I could be sending out signals to your partner that you still have feelings for your ex husband.

Tend to have a habit of talking about my ex on posts (sorry all) but when I first got together with my ex, I used to wear lots of rings. He told me that it made me look aggressive! (they were lovely silver rings) so I ended up not wearing any. Apart from the old fashioned one he brought me.

Sorry that story had nothing to do with you, but I started questioning the way I dressed and everything, so think he was just as insecure, though he never admitted to it. Sounds like he a bit like that.

I hope you managed to talk things through with him and have got things sorted.... let us know.....good luck xx