Staying together

[Sugar Ray]

I need advice on whether to stay with my wife.

We married only 2 years ago (been together 5) and although I love her I don't feel in love anymore. Even though she is attractive I just find that she annoys me and we don't even kiss anymore. We have a beautiful 6 month baby boy and I'm torn as I know I would miss out on being a 100% dad if we missed out.

Can this situation be turned around?? Is this common with married couples??
I am pessimistic as I have been feeling like this for a few years.

Many thanks
Scuba

[Pippa68]

Does your wife know how you feel...does she feel the same way? How does she annoy you?

You say you have felt like this for a 'few years'. Does this mean you felt the same before you married? if it has just been since you married that might explain some things. Everyone goes through a stage of realising that the relationship has changed...especially when a baby comes along. 'Post wedding depression' is spoken about quite a lot and if feelings are not addressed then things can escalate into total oblivion.

Having been through a marriage break up I will agree that it won't be easy. However if you both decide to split your son is young enough for him not to go through as much heartache as an older child would. I wouldn't give up just yet, though. The first couple of years of marriage is usually the toughest.

[nannon]

can i ask -did you feel lie this before? Its just because your baby is so young - so you think it could be partly to do with that? I havent got kids myself but have hheard that sometimes after having a child it can put a strain on ryour relationship...

[Pippa68]

I would go as far as to say that having a baby puts a strain on EVERY relationship..which is why 'elastoplast babies' tend not to work.

Having a baby puts a strain on a strong relationship...if the relationship is weak in the first place there is usually no hope at all :o(

[Skreecheeboy]

You need to get her to stop doing the things that she is doing which annoy you. I reckon you'll be able to work things out. When women have kids they get a bit funny for a while until they realise they're still beautiful and can still have a life after having kids, maybe you could help speed that process up?

[Whickerman]

when a couple are together, the successful ones are the ones who realise that the flush of love passes, and the long term relationship that lasts is the one built on friendship and trust.

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, i think you need to sit down with your wife and have a good, serious chat with her, alone.
Tell her your issues and what you want out of your relationship.
If she doesnt want to listen and says its all in your head, then you should make preperations to leave her. Dont worry about the relationship with your baby, you can still have one. It will be hard, but managable.
Hopefully though, she will listen to you and understand what your troubles are and try to make you like her like you once did. Dont forget its a 2 way thing and she may feel the same about you.
I think its common for couples to 'go off' each other, but i think if you communicate well and try to remember the good things which once attracted her to you then you will be fine. Your only pessimistic because you feel down.
Personally i think its all down to lack of sex that you feel like this...

[dumbboy]

f uck it ! just give her a slap then go down the pub

[Pippa68]

It still isn't clear just how long Sugar Ray has felt like this.

Was it before the wedding or before the baby?