Playing it cool...

[Rubyrose]

How do you do this without appearing to ignore someone?
If you have been talking to someone for weeks/months on end and are really friendly with them.. then when you suddenly decide to play it cool.. how do you do this?

I am trying it today... well.. from now on anyway! I want to be in control of the situation but when he keeps coming to chat to me, I can hardly ignore him! He has already given me half a cake today too!
I am trying to not look rude but at the moment things don't seem any different because we are chatting as normal!

[Rubyrose]

I will not flirt back... then he will feel like a fool! Actually I like this plan.... if he flirts and I don't flirt back... then I will be in control!

I was chatting away with someone at my desk this morning and he came over and normally I'd help him straight away but I carried on chatting like I hadn't noticed him.. then we I looked at him, I said 'Oh morning. Can I help you?' but he just wanted a little chat.... thats when he gave me half his cake... I didn't ask for any!

[Doc Spock]

I know the f**k is off Ruby and that appears to be your problem, you want a f**k to be on. Am I right.

[redcrx]

sounds like you need to be honest with him and yourself. All this 'playing it cool' malarky is just going to confuse matters. If people at work are talking then it wont be long before his wife, who has enough to deal with at moment, finds out.
Tell him you find it difficult to be friends with him when both of you are sending out mixed signals and also tell him that he should spend more time being concerned for his wife and unborn child than giving you cakes and taking you to lunch.
Im sorry Ruby, but it seems as if you love the attentnion he gives you and arent really willing to slow it down or give it up. This isnt fair on any of you and someone has to be smart enough to stop it

[leewayne]

You should snub him he's married,he shouldnt be flirting with anyone in the first place!! Stop being so concerned about him,hes not someone to agonise over,hes a pig for behaving like this when he is married and has a baby on the way,what does that tell you about him??!! Act normal around him as you do to everyone else.

[Rubyrose]

Stop flirting altogether? Whoa! Hold on a minute now missy!!! Lol.. don't go getting all crazy and just saying things you don't mean! Jeeez!

I can't... it's a fact. I can't not flirt. We all flirt when we are attracted to the other person... it's a natural reflex and sorry to say it but I am attracted to almost all of them here and we flirt! Everyone knows it and the girls always say 'You always have all the guys hanging about your desk'.. I love it. It's harmless too.... except with him... coz he is the one I actually like... so he is the one I have to stop flirting with!

[4getmenot]

he's having a baby too. oh it gets worse. I agree totally with redcrx. It would really creep me out if anyone I worked with flirted with me and I would go straight to the boss.

[Doc Spock]

I like your posts Ruby but can't help thinking that you are a bit of a lazy slapper.

I would have loved to have worked in a office like yours.

[4getmenot]

you say we all flirt when we are attracted to another person but you said you flirt with all the guys so would feel bad leaving him out. Do you have confidence issues and like all the attention do you think? And even more so now that you can get the office thinking you're seeing a married man?

[Doc Spock]

Sorry Ruby, that wasn't very nice. But you do come across as a good time girl.

[Rubyrose]

Yes he has a baby on the way. I have known since March but he didn't tell me till last week! Others knew and me and him are mates but he didn't tell me! Everyone thinks thats a bit odd!

Lazy Spock? Yes indeed but at the same time I am on Reception.. I don't have work unless someone gives me work! And as today is a quiet day in the office.. I get to use AB. Some days I barely get to check my emails!
Slapper? Not at all... I have never done anything with any of the guys here but flirt!

I think I do have confidence issues actually.... I'm not joking...

[Rubyrose]

Thats ok Spock.. I did tell you to f off! Lol.
But seriously... all the guys here know they can have a laugh and a flirt with me and I am always getting invited down the pub by them.. I am the youngest female here and the only one here who is single as well!

[redcrx]

yes, most of us do flirt when we find a guy attractive BUT surely once we realise that they are out of reach (married and a baby on way should be) we back off. Please try to refrain from flirting so much as you will get hurt in the end.

[4getmenot]

Do you think people see that as just flirting, or do you wish they saw a bit more in you than just the office flirt

[essex bloke]

Rubes the flirting is harmless wether your married engaged or whatever its just wether or not the line gets crossed ,,,,,,,which hey you dont wanna do!!! But we all flirt one way or other and it makes us feel better wether you recieve it or give it .

[4getmenot]

yes we do all flirt but she flirts with everyone. Rubyrose do you think if you wernt single you would still flirt like this, maybe this is why you are single maybe blokes feel awkward with your flirting

[fiest82]

flirting is harmless if you do it once or maybe twice but everyday.... that is just going overboard. Also, maybe attention seekers enjoy flirting but not everyone does. If the guy was committed to his wife, I'm sure he'd feel guilty about flirting with another girl Every day...

[4getmenot]

and essexbloke its not just flirting she is besotted :-) and the fact that the bloke knows it he should calm it down. Its not fair on his wife or ruby

[Rubyrose]

I was in a 5yr relationship and never flirted with anyone else... didn't really know how. When he broke up with me and broke my heart, I felt like sh!t! Didn't think anyone would find me attractive, despite being told I was!
So yes I flirt, and yes it makes me feel good but I only flirt with guys I find attractive and they flirt back. As my auntie said... If the flirting wasn't being recipriocated, I would stop.. because my brain would tell me there is no point!
They all flirt back and one or two have tried to take it further but despite finding them attractive I never did accepted the offer as they have partners!
I have met some of their partners too and they always seem to hear good things about me.