Lads and girls nites out! Why?

[lsharp10uk]

I might be been really stupid here but I have never understood people in loving relationships wanting to partake in these. Why do people do it? The only reason I can think is to talk about their partners or look for what else is out there.

I know everyone will say that its to catch up with friends and have a chat but I like to think that if you are in a good relationship you could share friends and go out together.

Am I been unreasonable? I love my boyfriend so so much and feel hurt when he wants to spend time just with his mates and not with me. I feel as though he doesnt want to be with me and I feel pushed away.

Im not overprtective of my boyfriend and would never stop him going out but I am very insecure and know that this probably has something to do with my feelings.

Anyone any thoughts?

[jackthehat]

I think that you are correct in believing that this has more to do with your feelings than any actions on your boyfriends part.

I hope that you gain more confidence in the relationship; then, hopefully, you will become more relaxed.

[4getmenot]

everyone needs time apart. It starts of like this then you stay in and make excuses that you cant go out then you lose all your friends. I'm guessing you are quite young, when you're older you'll realose that you need your friends too. Yes you could take your partner out with you but some friends find people boring with their partners. I love a good night out with the girls, its not to pull its just to have a laugh and seen as I hope to be spending the rest of my life with my bloke one night every couple of weeks doesnt bother me. The way you are going you will have no freinds left. and if anything happens in your relationship who are you going to turn to then?

[lsharp10uk]

I know what your saying and I do believe that it has more to do with me and maybe I am being unreasonable I just want to share everything with my boyfriend including friends.

I am 26 years old and want to be entertaining at home and having friends round but it never seems to happen because all his friends are single, ot at least act like they are which makes me even more insecure.

Im not a fan of going out myself, been there and done that if you know what I mean and my boyfriend often says the same but he becomes weak at any offer of a lads night out. I try to be reasonable offering to pick him up after but it always ends in an argument cos he's never ready when he says he will be and always picks a fight with me when hes drunk.

I just want a grown up relationship, hes nearly 30 years old, shouldnt he know better by now!! :-(

[lsharp10uk]

I dont want to be at home all the time and lose all our friends. I want us to have joint friends, is that so wrong. Why cant we socialize together.

I just want a grown up relationship, im 26 years old!!!

[4getmenot]

thats the way it goes, I used to be the single one in my group and couldnt wait to get a bloke and do all the things they were doing I was often left out of 'couple' meals because they thought I'd feel awkward. Then when I got a bloke all my mates split with their blokes!! Lol I think you just let him, he will setlle down when he's ready, forcing him to will only push him away. blokes hate being controlled. Just use it as an excuse to get your best mate round and have a drink, watch a film etc. xx

[Reverandfunk]

Blo8dy hell get a grip woman!

Can you talk on his level about football, boxing, cars etc and does he like talking about make up and shoes?

I rest my case.

[4getmenot]

Rev I hate talking bout make-up and shoes. I talk about footie though but still have to get away from him once in a shile :-)

[4getmenot]

sorry while lol

[Reverandfunk]

Yeah yeah 4get but can you explain offside lol and if you say u paint your face when england play there really is no hope....

[lsharp10uk]

Me too. I can quote you the off side rule and I own a Mitsubishi 3000gt!!!

Your not getting my point. He can talk to the lads about all these things and i'll talk about shoes and make-up to their girlfriends! We all go out together - yes, you understand now!!

[4getmenot]

but what is wrong with letting him go out with the lads if you are going to spend rest of your life together? And rev no I cant but I still watch it :-)

[jno]

It is odd, isn't it. As a foreigner
myself, I've never understood
this emphatic gender divide
the British go in for. But it's a
cultural thing - so ingrained
that the British really can't imagine life
without it... as these answers show.
So I'm afraid you're stuck with it.

[4getmenot]

and if you were single and asking your mates for a drink and they said no I'm staying in with my bloke you'd be on here asking why

[Reverandfunk]

I have different groups of mates for different things.

If my other half wants to go out shopping with her mates she goes. If she wants to go out with her friends to catch up on things she goes.

To be honest if I was with someone who didn't like me seeing my mates it would do my head in. It's nice to have time on you own as well.

[lsharp10uk]

Well youve all been a great help......not!

Looks like im on my own here, which isnt suprising as this country is know for its larger lowt boyish behaviour, as commented above. Maybe I should just emmigrate and go and live in the civilised world!

Chow

[4getmenot]

I hate posts like this, YOU asked out opinion and then say that back. we are trying to help but you wont listen so dont come crying on here when he's left you because you nag all the time and dont let him go out

[lsharp10uk]

Read back to the original post. I would never stop him going out its completely his choice. I was just asking for peoples opinions on my thoughts, not to judge me when you dont know me!

[jackthehat]

Well, we've given you our opinion on your thoughts and you didn't like those either.

It's a shame that you came on here wanting validation of your stance and then throw a hissy fit when it isn't forthcoming.........

[Reverandfunk]

Personally I think you have some trust issues with your other half.

99% of the people will tell you it's okay to have a night apart

[China Doll]

Sometimes I just want to see my girlfriends. We're all single at the moment so it's not a big deal but in the past it's usually a chance to get together and let off some steam about our respective partners. Stuff that you wouldn't say to them because it's petty and silly and you know that all you need is a little perspective.

I'm sure blokes do the same. In fact, I know that I annoyed one of my friends so much that I believe it was my face he saw on the golf ball for about 8 holes. And that's just friends.

I've no problems with girls or boys nights out. I never have. But my preference is a night out in general with the boys and the girls as to be honest, I have always preferred the company of men. In a completely non-sleezy way. Girls are scary.