I've read previously,what has happened to you RQ. You've been very brave and strong,to get to where you are right now. Mental and physical abuse,can go on for such a long time,that it becomes part of you,and even though you have taken the right steps,you are still bound to miss the "nice" person you knew. Your reaction is completly normal,but upsetting for you. As Jno said,this is going to take a while,but,don't expect too much from yourself too soon,and be very proud of what you've achieved so far! Look after yourself xx Linda