does anyone understand men ?

[falrep]

I met a guy on a night out but he was just on a stag do and lives a couple of hours away. We hit it off so well we swapped numbers, a couple of weeks later he came to visit and we had a lovely day out together. We had a kiss when he left and went back to texting all day everyday and ringing etc, he started to be less flirty in his texts so I asked him what was up - he said that he really liked me but thinks distance will be too much so we should just be friends. I was a bit upset by this as we knew about distance from start ! Anyway he still texts all day long and rings too, the texts are the kind you would send to your girlfrind just funny and chatty and a bit flirty. I dont get it !!!!!!

[4getmenot]

he doesnt want to go out with you, is using distance as an excuse, but wants all the attention still.

[falrep]

yes thats what i thought !!!! He is always sending texts about how lovely i am etc etc though. Why bother ? I said to him ok mates is cool and i just sent the odd text saying hi etc and he rang me and asked why i hardly spoke anymore - weirdo ha ha

[Barmaid]

Does anyone understand men? Nope. Next......

Seriously though falrep, I think he liked the idea to start with and has now gone off the idea. I have had this happen to me more times than I can remember. The contact massages his ego and assuages his guilt. Find someone a little closer to home.

[helliebobs]

Not a lot you can do falrep, if he has said he just wants to be friends, you need to both work at a long distance relationship for it to work. At least he was honest about it but f the flirting continues and you feel uncomfortable with it, then ask him what he wants and where you stand.

[SKA]

I did that to a guy once I wanted attention and a bit of flirty flirty so we were always on the phone and texting etc. Maybe as 4get says that�s what he�s like too or maybe he doesn�t want to launch in to a full on relationship right away!!
Give it time and see how it goes!!

[tigersam258]

it sounds as if he wants to maintain a friendship with you but also wants the freedom in his locality.

you are better off ending it yourself and go find a new guy that treats you well and wants to have a relationship with you.

good luck

Sam x

[4getmenot]

My mate really likes this bloke who told me that he isnt interested in her but it makes my blood boil some of the things he says to her just to keep her there. I tell her leave it for a while and then you will see how he feels, she leaves it and within a day she back wanting him because he's txt. In her eyes that means he cares, in mine that means he isnt getting the attention he wants.

[falrep]

Thanks everyone, i know your right! Think im just a bit of a muppet really. It just annoys me so much cos pre visiting he was on and on about how much he likes me and talking like he wanted to really give it a go. its left feeling a bit rejected and unattractive, silly i know but im soft! He literally texts about thirty times a day and we share private jokes etc. I sent him a text telling him that i didnt get it etc and was just happy to leave it but he kept texting anyway - grrrrrrr

[falrep]

Thanks Pa_ul maybe your right, it was a bit of a nightmare journey for him when he came down, he works in the police so has shifts and not alot of time off. I work full time too so wouldnt see much of eachother really. I was happy to just see how it went though and not meaning to sound nuts I would of moved after time if it all went well. Is it silly of me t o keep texting etc and hope maybe things develop ?

[helliebobs]

falrep, just keep doing what you're doing, but don't push it, it's easy to do and it might just put him off. If he wants you, he knows where you are. pa___ul is talking a lot of sense there ^^^^^

[4getmenot]

You�re not a muppet at all. I guess most girls have been there, hanging on. I know I have which is why I�ve said what I have today. I can see now that I was silly and if he didn�t want to go out with me he didn�t want to end of. Its not silly for a bit of hope but just dont leave it to long that you miss out on whats nearer x

[falrep]

thanks 4getmenot, I dont often meet anyone i really like, im far too fussy i think. I think i will keep talking to him but pull back a bit and just see what happens. And keep my eyes open locally ha ha

[4getmenot]

Funny thing is after 3 yrs I gave up and now he tells me he thinks I may have been his last chance of happiness. Oh well he wasn�t mine and I;ve been with my boyfriend a year now.

[lil123]

I have had this and I think they do it until they decide what they want which is not nice really x

[4GS]

Maybe his wife objected to him flirting with another woman



What????

It does happen, I've heard that some women are jealous, possessive and a tad unreasonable about this

[falrep]

I understand what your saying but im pretty sure he is not married, either that or she is just never home. we talk all the time and ive never once thought that could be the case. I think it is more likely that he cant be arsed with the travelling and likes flirting with me so says in touch lol

[helliebobs]

And you would never do that would you John? ;)

[4getmenot]

Hi John ;-)

[beso]

You met on a casual night out and both went away with the idea that there was real potential. However the experience in the light of day has not panned out for him.

He likes you as a friend but that is all. And that is fine.

Meanwhile you have only spoken about him and not mentioned how you feel. Sounds like you are too willing to go along with whatever comes along.

I think you should start thinking about what you really want in a man or you will end up with some guy who doesn't love you but is too much of a whimp to walk away. At least this guy is up front and honest.