violence

[SHELLP]

my partner has recently assulted me and is due to appear in court for this we cn never go back too much hurt and bad feelings with both families his think i am lying even though police have photos and he held me at knife point.but he has started seeing someone new she is 20 years younger than him with a small child this is really upsetting me cant work out why jealous when i dont want him,i am also worried for the small 5 year old girl involved any advice

[~Wingnut~]

Hi ShellP

So sorry to hear this but good on you for realising that your better off away from him!

I am not surprised that you feel jealous that he has met someone else. What happened to you was probably sudden and unexpected so your probably mourning the relationship as anyone would do and to hear he has taken up with someone else is bound to stir up feelings inside.

As for his family, sod them if they don't believe he is like this even with photographic evidence, that's their problem and they probably just don't want to admit their son could be capable of such a terrible thing.

As awful as it sounds I don't think there is anything you can do about the 5 year old girl. I take it the mother must know he is due in court and what for?

I think that once he has been to court you should try to rebuild your life and try to avoid hearing about his.
Good luck :o)

[SHELLP]

thanks wingnut
not sure if this girl knows or not cant imagine why a girl of 26 would want to be with someone of 47. since i have heard he is with her i keep getting urges to text him this feels so strange because even before he hit me i wanted out of the relationship. i am on antideppresants and sleeping tablets and he has rebuilt a new life in less than 5 weeks this hurts so much.

[~Wingnut~]

Hi again! :o)

5 weeks!!! no wonder your feeling hurt! I think it's safe to say he has gone with her to get at you, so bear that in mind when you get the urge to text him and remember what he did to you. He's probably hoping you will text him so he knows he has got to you.
Old cliche (sp?) but over time you will think of him less and less and thats why I say once he has been to court start to rebuild your life. It will be hard to move on whilst you still have this looming over you (your kinda stuck in limbo atm). Keep yourself busy and in time you will realise that you haven't thought about him in a few days, that will turn in to weeks then months etc.. leave him to mess up his own life.

[SHELLP]

cheers

wish i could forget about him see him a lot round and about, never seen him with her though but his friends keep telling me i know should try and move on but easier said than done feel so confused.
wish he would plead guilty but is making me go to court to give evidence he seems to be making everything so hard for me. dont know which way to turn really want to talk to him but know it would jepordise court and cant let him get away with what he did

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, i think maybe you should take a break somewhere for a few days or a week or so. You probably feel connected to him becuase you have been together for so long.
I think the antidepressants will be making things worse also, as you will be thinking a lot more.
You say he has met someone else and rebuilt his life within 5 weeks, but maybe he already had that life. Its only right that you are concerned about this other woman and her child, as you know what he is really like. Its not gonna do you any good with poeple telling you things all the time either.
You will feel a lot better in a few months, once he is out of your system and you have met someone else. Until then, your gonna be thinking all sorts of stuff.
You should go visit family as much as you can, or go places to keep you occupied.Good luck...

[sara3]

Shell, try to distance yourself from this. try to imagine it's your sister or your best friend going through this. what would you tell them to do?

you know what is right here. he doesn't deserve you. get your self-respect back, take a deep breath and look forwards, not back. don't let him play mind games with you, he's done enough harm already.

[SHELLP]

thanks for the support. my friends wont listen tyhey just tell me to forget him and i know its right but not always easy.

dont think he was with this woman before we split because apart from when he was at work i was always with him he hated me going anywhere without him. maybe i will feel better if i feel justice is done in the courts but at the moment everything is going his way.

sorry feeling sorry for myself

[raysparx1]

Hi SHELLP, try to feel good about the fact that you got rid of this prat, hope he gets what he deserves when he goes to cpourt, of course it is hard to come to terms with what is happening, but you really must try to look forward, never look back, move forward and find somebody that loves you and never treats you the way this excuse for a man has. as for his family, as wingnut says, sod them, you don't need them, if they are in denial as to what a piece of scum they are related to, that really is their problem, wish you good luck and hope your life soon starts to get better, take care, Ray xx

[SHELLP]

thanks ray

i am trying x

[lil123]

What your feeling is perfectly normal as I have been in a very similar situation to yours. I am now 18mths down the line from my ex and have a totally new life now as I had to flee him he was that violent and move 100 miles away.
I now have no feelings for him and although he has to see our son I just look at him as my sons father.
There is a lot to work through but if you stick at it you will be so glad you did. Counseling is good as it really helps.
Just remember why you are not with him and look at those photos of what he did to you. No one should live like that.

[TheRoz]

I feel for you i am a bloke and a women i was with was an abuser in a very big way i was with here for 2 years and the longer we stayed together the worst it got.Leaving her was awful i hated her so much but found it hard to get away in the end i packed up and went i came close to hitting her but by how she looked at me as though she wanted it.
I had everything off her mind games you would not believe No one else believes that a women could do that i later found she was diagnosed with split persanalites and BI polar. As long as you stay away you will be stronger change numbers and rid his number meet new friends xx

[SHELLP]

thanks for all the support. dont really think of men being in this situation the roz but glad you got away. thing is with me in the 1st couple of weeks i hated him but when found out he was seeing someone else i started thinking abouyt all the good times we had and imagine him doing them with her now and am desperate to text him havent done so yet but finding it harder not to with each day that passes. i feel like part of me is missing .