How do I get him to help out?

[CAJ1]

My boyfriend and I have lived together for a year and knew each other a year before that. I feel like I do everything. He would sometimes cook if he's in before me and occassionally do the washing up and that's about it. When we moved house I set up the gas and electric bills and changed tv licence etc as he never bothered. This week there has been little food in the house and I have not done shopping on purpose to see if he does it and he hasn't. He used the GF grill on Sunday and left it at the sink and he still hasn't cleaned it. If I didn't do the washing he'd have no clean clothes as he never puts washing on. He has never cleaned the toilet/bathroom and never thought to change the bedding.

He is a good person and treats me well but how do I get him to change and do things without seeming like I'm nagging him? I've brought it up before and he says he would help but I get round to doing things before he gets a chance. When I ask him to do something he says he'll do it later and then I end up doing it because I get fed up waiting on him to do it. I don't want to end up feeling like his mother and resenting him. Please help!

[CAJ1]

Do you not feel bad Rtaxron for letting her do it all?

You should do something once in a while, I bet it will earn you brownie points ;o)

[Rtaxron]

I do my share in the evening CAJ1.

I uncork the wine to prevent her straining her polishing arm : - )

[CAJ1]

LMAO, how kind of you! :o)

[terambulan]

The time to worry is when he calls you 'mum'! That's when you kick him out, with his bin bag of socks, undies & clothes, (each man's personal possessions seem to fill one bin bag) ;0)

[whiskeysheri]

Blame the mums, seriously! My bloke's mum is the worst EVER! She insists on making him a packed lunch everyday. She even gets up just to wake him up for work at weekends... on her day off! She tells me now that she regrets starting it and that she's made a rod for her own back, although, at 25 I'm sure he'd cope if she just bloody stopped it!

Anyway, when we eventually buy a place together I know it's going to take a while for him to realise I won't be wiping his bottom for him (he's been pre-warned, though).

Now, I'm constantly on at my mum to make sure she doesn't ruin my younger brother for his future girlfiriend.

Keep up the good work, CAJ1!

Oh, and can I just say that Velvetee made some very good points... :)

[mirela]

hi CAJ, no,my block is working away in hongkong at moment, and will stay there for 9 months to 1 year unless he got sacked...so i dont need do much for him now, but i have to admit, i spolit him in firstplace which made him getting used to wait me to sort everythings out:((( the last day before he left, he washed all dirty clothes and cooked dinner for me which really impressed me tho:)
good luck for your revolution!x

[Myriad2112]

Perhaps he needs more sex!

[CAJ1]

I definitly don't think thats the problem Myriad! ;o)

[peanut273]

Make him!!! haha...use ur strength and force his sorry ass to the kitchen. Men dont listen when u ask thats why they complain we nag. So...dont ask. So sit back too, try a bit of reverse psychology on him for this one. Do what he does. My ex was the exact same - so i stopped doing it. Lived in a tip for a few weeks, he had digs about the mess. I just acted the way he did & eventually he did it. Be warned it will take awhile for him to do it.
Your like his mum to him. He needs to help.
Or make cleaning times fun haha, men r like babys, offer him sweeties to get him to tidy, buy him football rubber gloves that may be an insperation to make dishes more fun for him, pop in a rubber duck too!!!

as for the cooking you'll end up malnurished & eating bananas and stuff if you leave the cooking to him. Hope u like micro meals!!!