all this waiting!

[Petal~flower]

I was with my partner for 4 yrs when he decided to relocate 100 odd miles away for work, Our relationship ended after he emailed me!! that he didnt want the pressure of coming back and forth to seeing me etc.....I was gutted

Anyhow, he dated other women, I didnt date at all. Couldnt be doing with all the messing around.

This year he got back in contact with me (we had had the odd text) and now he is moving back to my area as he says he wants to be with me.

But now he wants me to wait around for another 2 years while he gets money together.

He is a nice man, but how much hanging around can a woman do!!!

There is a lot of resentment in me, for the way he treated me, but he says I should forget it.

I am no spring chicken btw lol...............so am thinking should I keep waiting for him to get himself sorted?

[legend_markx]

Sorry petal but hess a deadbeat loser vwaster.
Waste your time on him if you want its your choice .But he will drop you again like hot rocks.Better on your own doll.


Hes totally using you

[pinktwink]

i agree if he was as serious as he says there would be no more waiting he would want to be with you. Besides what does he plan to do for the two years??it doesnt take money to be with someone it takes love honesty and a commitment,I would dump him before he hurts you again and get yourself back out there

[Petal~flower]

he says he is now saving for a deposit on a house together!! But thats what he told me when he moved away in the first place, but is coming back with nothing saved.

It all seems to me like he needs a new venture every 2 years, He is 46 btw

[legend_markx]

petal this isnt first time youve asked and i know you know the right answer .so time to make a decision.and no amount of askin on here will help.none of us are gettin younger and frankly you have seemed unhappy for most of the last year at least.time to move on .respect yourself because he doesnt.thats my last on this as i suspect you may just carry on being used anyway.


all the best .

leg

[~max~]

And why exactly can't he be with you while he's saving for that deposit? Seems like a bad excuse to me! Stay clear, I say. If he really wants to be with you, he'll make an effort to win you over, believe me.

[Petal~flower]

yeah leg, I have asked before, maybe its a case of better the devil you know (have said that before too).. and maybe I am just scared of moving on.

Thanks for you input

[pastafreak]

If he really wanted to be with you,he would not be coming up with feeble excuses NOT to be with you. Steer clear hun...you deserve better.

[Petal~flower]

hi max.....I do honestly think he gets a buzz out of change... new job,.... another new place to move into... he is financially a bit of a mess.

Have known him so long now, I am scared of starting a new relationship to be honest

[lindapinda]

You know what I'm gonna say here Petal...you're too nice and deserving a person to put up with this sort of nonsense drivel...it's always about him and what he says!

[legend_markx]

petal youre unhappy and its like you keep hoping someone will agree with you.
sadly on a forum like this folk wont always be honest with you , as honesty can be seen as being harsh or cruel.
but your ex is a waster and im certain that like many guys like him ive met over the years he will have you and maybe another woman running around after him.
he thrives on it but wont commit.
better to be single thru choice and made a fool of and used .


ditch him and move on.


i dont lie i dont make stuff up this is my honest and in my mind my sensible opinion.

[Petal~flower]

pasta, he has hinted about moving in with me, but this is my house, mortgage in my name, and with his bad financial record I am really concerned about the long term consequences

[peachybabe]

Petal. It looks to me like you are giving all the answers as to why you shouldn't take him back! Please re-read your replies and see them as the rest of us do.

xxxxxx

[Petal~flower]

linda, spot on,.... it is always about him... his wants etc.... but really am scared of moving on.

Leg, yeah I know I waffle on here about stuff, but if I ask family its all one sided, so like impartial views,....I can take it. But I guess if I have to post my personal stuff on a forum,then it means I really am in a f*iggin muddle.

btw, I dont feel used, I do think he realises the grass was not that green

[Petal~flower]

thanks peachy.... I guess if I knew everthing was OK, I would not be posting on here xx

[pastafreak]

Mmmmm...how often is he going to want to have a look in next doors garden,hun? And you can't ,and shouldn't, have to commit to something that by the sounds of it, will never happen.

[Petal~flower]

you know what pasta......................when he said to me, wait for me another 2 years, I said to him, I was 41 when I knew you, and I am 47 soon (make a note in your diaries folks) lol... and he said, well if you loved me, you would wait 20 years!

[lindapinda]

You're living a successful life without his support Petal..mentally or otherwise !..He does nothing for your confidence...you only see yourself and him settling for each other...and he seems to expect you to make all the sacrifices,while he continually sorts himself out :-( All he does is bring you down really?

[pastafreak]

But it is not the two of you "waiting " together, rather it is him "waiting" and then possibly choosing another (person,place or thing)while you are saintly,patient and too too good for him.

[Petal~flower]

bez, you got the brunt of all that crap....................sorry for posting it all on here,, just been a really up and down emotional hill for me this week, what with son going to uni etc.


oh and his excuse now for dumping me via email was......................he was scared!!

ffs