How to get over an Ex

[SHELLP]

I cant get my ex partner out of my head had 31/2 great years with him then we started arguing all the time when I told him I had had enough he went mad hitting me headbutting me holding me at knifepoint this was 4 months ago. He has been to court for this and it is going to trial on Wed he is pleading not guilty so I have to give evidence. I am so stressed out and for the last few days been worrying about what will happen I cant forget about him keeps coming into my mind and I cant forget I sometimes even miss him.

[admarlow]

i hink you should try to find someoe else, someone who ill support you x

[joggerjayne]

God almighty, shellp ...

... you miss a guy who headbutted you ?

You're a real glutton for punishment.

Shellp, I don't know anything about you ... but no woman deserves to be treated like that.

Listen, not long after I split up with my ex, I mentally gave him a derisory nickname, which made him seem totally unappealing. My ex will forever be known as Pencil Dick. Maybe your ex should be known as The Woman Beater.

[SHELLP]

I know that I should hate him but I feel sorry for him cant help it.

[sara3]

who will you feel sorry for when he batters the next girlfriend?

if he had any feelings for you, Shell, he'd be pleading guilty and not still putting you through this. he's a control freak, on top of everything else.

[pinkbunny]

hey hun have just sent you an email,
I also felt the same about my ex for a very long time its only recently that I have started not to love him even though we both have been through extremely similar situations. It does get easier with time its been almost a year to the day since I fled my home with my kids to get away from him but even still its only recently that I have started not to love him x x
Speak soon hun x x

[joggerjayne]

Aww, shellp.

You've got a big heart, hun.

Your ex can't have any idea how lucky he was to have a lovely person like you, or how stupid he was to blow it.

I hope things work out for you, shellp.

J x

[admarlow]

intime you will see what a piece of work he is, trust me hun x x

[Prudentia]

any man who hits a woman is the most despicable form of low life, the absolute scum of the earth, give me and my dearest friends one hour with him and we'll guarantee to hospitalise him for at least 3 years and be sure he will never walk again, you have hit on my pet subject, it happened to me but with much a more serious assault by more than one person, many years ago now but you never forget, and in my case never ever forgive, stuff the turn the other cheek crap, beat the sh*t out of the scum and forget to ring the ambulance service. Thankfully I have retained my sanity and I think lead a balanced life .

[str]

You need to look at your situation as an outsider. Difficult, I know, but if you were a stranger looking at your post as if it were someone else who had written it, you would tell her - for Gods sake get a life and make the loser pay. His life is no more important than yours, so why are you worrying about him, rather than about yourself! Wake up.

[joggerjayne]

God Pru, I'm so sorry to hear that.

J x x x

[SHELLP]

Wish I could look at it objectively as I said if this had happened to my daughter I would want him dead but I cant just switch of my feelings.

Pink Bunny replied to your email

Shellx

[joggerjayne]

None of us can control our feelings, even when we know we are being irrational.

x

[bensmum]

Hi shellp - I know what you mean having been there myself. I went through a stage of missing the sh*t and feeling sorry for him but I got better!! Remember what he did to you and think of the bad things - you need to be in that sort of frame of mind when you go to court. It isn't easy but the courts in my experience were very good and no-one likes a man who batters women. Then once the case is over you can put this behind you and not have to think of the cowardly b*st*rd again. I will think of you - good luck
XX

[Prudentia]

I was brutally raped by a gang of four so called pillars of the community, because of their position they walked away scot free, where the f*** is the equality

[Prudentia]

joggerjayne

[JezUK1]

Believe you me you are really better off away from this bloke. To be honest if he has done what you said in your post then I hope he is in prison for a very long time!!

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[jno]

Jez, stop advertising.

shellp, he'll be in your mind for a long time. This always happens whether the relationship was good or bad (and it doesn't get much worse than yours). The thing to do is try to manipulate your memories. When you start feeling sorry for him, remind yourself of the knife. When one of the good times comes to mind, remind yourself of the headbutting too. Not nice to deliberately call up bad times, but it should keep you from weakening. You split up for a reason; don't demean your own feelings by starting to think you got it wrong. You didn't.

[SHELLP]

I want him to get found guilty so that restrictions are put on him but dont want him to go to prison because he will lose everything job,home dont know why I feel bad about him because he doesnt care about me or else would go guilty save me having to go through a court case.