lesbians

[Sgt.Rock]

Given that lesbians don't like men, why more often than not does one of the women in the relationship look like a man? Doesn't this prove the more "feminine" lesbian in the relationship is really a frustrated hetrosexual at heart ?

[DaisyMae]

No it doesn't prove anything of the sort.

Firstly Lesbians do not dislike men per se, they just don't wish to have sex with them.

Secondly, all the Lesbians of my acquaintance have no desire to look like any other person, they want to be individuals and dress and act as they choose, not dictated by the need to attract a man.

The only thing that your post proves is that you know little or nothing about homosexuality but carry the same preconceptions that most ignorant men have.

And before you make the obvious but totally eroneous connection - no I am not a Lesbian, I am a married grandmother who has recently celebrated her Golden Wedding Anniversary with her lovely husband.

[andy-hughes]

And today's Award For Sweeping Generalisation goes to ...

seriously, lesbian relationships are far more subtle that the commonly supposed 'butch / femme' stereotypes that almost all heterosexual men seem to imagine.

A lot of lesbians are perfectly OK with men, and simply prefer their own gender for sexual fulfilment. They can be as butch or as feminine as you like, or, like the vast majority - look like every other woman walking around.

Think about it - do men all pump iron and play rugby and drink Guiness to underline their masculinity? Do all women plaster on make-up, wear hels and have boob jobs to prove how feminine they are?

It's all stereotyping, and should be ignored.

So the short answer to your question is "No."

[andy-hughes]

DaisyMae and I have cross-posted, but it seems we agree on the issue at hand.

[Sgt.Rock]

"The only thing that your post proves is that you know little or nothing about homosexuality but carry the same preconceptions that most ignorant men have".

Perhaps that's why I am asking then?

[jackthehat]

Given that lesbians don't like men, why more often than not does one of the women in the relationship look like a man?

They don't.........

Doesn't this prove the more "feminine" lesbian in the relationship is really a frustrated hetrosexual at heart ?

No..............see previous comment.........

[Sgt.Rock]

Oh jack don't come that, most do. The ones I see anyway. One feminine (ish) one and the other doing the best to look like a man, and succeeding.

[jackthehat]

Can't agree with your sweeping generalisations, I'm afraid, Sgt. Rock.

[Sgt.Rock]

Fair enough Jack. But surely you have heard people saying "she's the man in the relationship" when talking about lesbians?

[jackthehat]

Of course............
In just the same way as they say 'He'll be the wife' about the campest bloke in a gay male relationship. Usually, the chap does not have to dress like a woman to elicit that sort of remark.

It just that heterosexuals seem to need reassurance that gay relationships somehow mirror their own...........

[Jillius]

Well Sgt.Rock , I don't know many lesbians but I certainly agree with what you say ! The ones I know both have cropped hair and dress like men.

[LoftyLottie]

Most of the lesbian couples I see about both look like men. What does that prove?

I am not saying that the ones I see about represent the majority of Lesbians though - it's just that these are the ones I notice.

[LoftyLottie]

Oh, snap Jillius!!

[Jillius]

lol loftie !

[Jillius]

woops, can't spell. I meant to put lofty !!

[daniela31]

I was chatted up by a lesbian once, who was quite feminine. My brother knew she was a lesbian and didn't tell me, he thought it was hilarious.

So if she was feminine, and fancied me, who I have always thought myself as feminine........then your statement doesn't make sense.
:-)

[blondie83]

All I'm gonna say is that I know a whole load of lesbians (and no, I am not one!) but i'd say 95% of the lesbians i know, look and dress like men. Not saying it's a bad thing, but I do have to agree with Sgt Rock on that bit..

[andy-hughes]

The fact is - if a lesbian chooses to cultivate a 'butch' look, and has a partner who has a 'femme' look, then you have a standard example of a lesbian couple.

That's about as valid as the Donald McGill pstcards showing a huge fat woman and a tiny little man as representative of a typical hetero couple.

The stereotypes of any oritentation are the ones we all notice, but that doesn;t mean they are representative of the entire community.

I'd hate to think that anyone looked at Arnold Shwarzenegger and thought he was a 'typical' man, and I am sure that a lot of lesbians would shudder to think that Sandra Bernhard was a typical lesbian, or that Graham Norton is a typical gay man.

[jackthehat]

So 5% of the lesbians you do know don't dress like men..............and there will be many, many more who may be lesbians and you are not aware of them because you haven't 'identified' them..........

[CheekyChops]

Sorry, I agree with Sgt.Rock as well and have often wondered exactly the same thing.

Most of the lesbians I have come across look like men. Apart from famous people / celebrities, I don't think I have ever seen a feminine, long haired makeup wearing girlie lesbian - I'm not saying they don't exist, I've just never met one.

[jackthehat]

You will have Cheeky Chops, you will have..............:o)