Letters? Last resort?

[Yvaines09]

I don't seem to be able to get through to my partner sometimes when problems arise - I get confused and frustrated and it ends in either an argument or a stalemate - so resort to writing a letter or email. He maintains I'm causing "trouble for trouble's sake" by keeping the momentum going but I feel, sometimes, I still haven't got my point across and need to put it on paper (and ultimately draw a line under it)

[ummmm]

What's the question?

Not being harsh but am not sure what advice you want.

[Yvaines09]

Do you think people should be able to put their point across even if it means having to go to those limits? I feel as though I am being a bit melodramatic by putting stuff in writing (as these things always come back to bite you on the backside at some point) but, on the other hand, I hate being left with the feeling I am floundering and being misconstrued.

[ummmm]

Yes. If something bothers you and you need to say it but can't do it face to face then put it in writing. Many's a time I've wrote down how I feel but never passed it on as writing it was enough of a relief.

It's not dramatic......

[mrs_overall]

Some people DO get flustered when trying to get their point across verbally.
There is nothing wrong with putting it in writing.
Also, sometimes if you take the trouble to write down what you want to say, you are giving yourself time to calm down.

[claraman]

Yes it is very important that people are heard. It's always important to let someone have their say no matter what. Something that might seem really unimportant, might seem very important to the person thats saying it. Most times all people want is to have the chance to have their say. You could call it communicating

[happyone2]

i agree with everything that every one has said, but would just ask you to consider if your partners comment about you "causing trouble for troubles sake " has some bearing ??

do you "overdo"it perhaps, im not saying you are, just it may be something to look at it...............................

at what point do you feel that you hve got my point across ?

is this something you have felt only with this partner, or do you hve this feeling in your work and social interactions ??

good luck

[CAJ1]

Its a good way to get your point accross, feel like you are getting it out of your system without shouting at each other and making sure you say everything without forgetting anything. I normally talk things through with my bf but have once sent him an email to explain how I felt when he did something.

Have you explained to him the reason why you write the letters so he knows it is your way of dealing with it?

[Panic Button]

It sounds like both of you are the sort who have to have the last word.