Why do guys get freaked out?

[Sasha-2008]

I thought that me and my b-friend were happy and he was always talking about furture events etc. But now he's the one who has got all freaked out saying that he doesn't know what he wants anymore. He says that I'm too full on when I only see him twice a week and that its getting too serious. how can this be when he was the one who was always doing the chasing at the start.

Is it the thrill of the chase game and now he's bored?


Can guys really get freaked out and get cold feet? I thought it was only women who did that?

[legendis.god]

Sounds like you may be a victim of your own design.
You suggested time apart adn youve been doing thta.
Hes gone from being interested ina relationship to not being that bothered.

Sometimes that cam happen.As fr men from venus well ive met and known some women from mars.
Men do want relationships , just ask the women on this thread who are in relationships with men.

Sometimes i think women can makeit too easy for men and then wonder why they get fed up.

Personally i dont think men get cold feet , though the may decide that what they initially wanted isnt as good as they first thought.

Women can be the same , theyre not that different from men really.
Both commit adultry , both leave partners.

Its just life i guess.

[4getmenot]

I had it for years and never read it came across it other week and started to and it is so spot on

[B00]

It's obviously up to you Sasha, but I'd at least meet him to discuss it. You never know, he might be realising that you do mean more to him afterall and want a more full on relationship.

And if you do break up with him, far nicer and kinder to do it to his face.

[legendis.god]

Omg since i started typing youve decided you shouldve stayed single !!!

Like i said men and women arent that different really.

[ummmm]

I might read it then. Although my friends think I'm a bit blokey in my attitude. I put that down to being brought up surrounded by men....

[Sasha-2008]

Thanks guys.

I like him a lot but I don't think I'm in love with him no.

Maybe meeting him would be the right thing to do I guess but I'm just worried that all these feelings will come out and he will run a mile.

[Sasha-2008]

legendis.

Obviously I would love to stay with him, but now I'm just trying to think about myself and protect myself from getting hurt further down the line.

I was never looking for a r-ship in the first bl**dy place but then he came along and I changed my mind. Now I'm wishing I hadn't!

[4getmenot]

why have you now decided to dump him when you really like hiM?

[Sasha-2008]

4getmenot

b-coz I don't want it to be a 1 sided r-ship. That would leave me treading on egg shells all the time just b-coz I would b worried that at anytime he would end it.

I don't want r-ship like that. I want him tio want me like I want him.

[4getmenot]

Then you talk about it to him, dont brek up first chance you have, there might not be anything wrong thats just what blokes do then you say 'sorry you're dumped' and then he thinks 'jeez I cant be doing with women'

[Sasha-2008]

But talking means spilling out all my feelings! and if he's freaked out now he will be running for the door after.

I don't want him to think that he has got to me even tho I'm sure he already know's he has. If I break it off and he then realises that he wants to be with me then I guess we could talk about it.

It's so hard. I don't wanna hurt him and at the same time I don't wanna hurt myself.

[4getmenot]

but why hide those feelings if thats how you feel. You shouldnt need to in any relationship

[Sasha-2008]

no that is true and I have always said that people should just be who they are and not change for anyone. therefore just saying how I really feel should be the right thing to do but I'm worried it will freak him out. But if thats the case then I guess we obviously were not meant to be 2gether.

I have just been having mixed answers from different people telling mw what the right thing to do is.

When I guess I should just be true to myself and see what happens really.

[sezzo16]

The same thing happened to be last week. Just 3 days after Valentines. I thought we were happy together and then suddenly he ended it. Saying his feelings weren't developing enough. We are still in contact just because nothing bad happened for us not to be. But its really hard.

He says he misses things, he still wants to see me, but he's just so stressed out at the moment. It really sucks, cause i miss him so much, and i thought it was all fine.

Hope everything sorts itself out.

[4getmenot]

'but I'm worried it will freak him out. But if thats the case then I guess we obviously were not meant to be 2gether' You hit the nail on the head there, talk to him if he cant talk back or be honest with you he's not worth it and has alot of growing up to do.

[Sasha-2008]

sezzo16

I'm sorry to hear that. Its so hard to remain friends after breaking up. I have tried that before and it didn't work out for long.

I hope you get it all sorted maybe he will come to realise that he wants you back if you have some time apart?

I hate it when guys say that their feelings are not developing enough. Mine said that but I'm not sure I wanna wait around to see how long it takes for his feelings to develop if they even do.

Take Care :)

[Sasha-2008]

He is older then me so I thought that he had done all his growing up and playing the field. I really thought he would know what he wanted when he said he wanted to be with me.

Maybe he truley did but now he has come to realise that the r-ship has not turned out how he wanted. If thats the case thats fine I will deal with that in time. I just ant some honesty instead of going round in circles.

[tamborine]

There's more to both ur feelings here. He could have paternal/sibling pressure against you - likewise you. Give yourselves space from each other. Dont meet for now - wait till 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' to see what happens.

[4getmenot]

And read the book

[Sasha-2008]

I think there may be pressure put on him from his family but I have not met them and I'm fine with that for now.

I keep thinking that more time apart would be good coz then he can have more time to think. I know that deep down I wan't to be with him but only if it's a 2 way thing. If not I will deal with the break up now rather then further down the line.

I will hunt down the book. lol