date rape, this is all so messed up... pls help

[oh-nooooooo]

I'm 100% sure me and a friend were drugged in a club last wkend. I have very vage memories of the night as does my friend. It all got very strange after a drink this guy got us (we were all at the bar, however, my friend and i were chatting, we were a bit drunk admittedly) I

have had a few flash backs and there is alot of blanks. But i gather, me and my friend went back to this guys house, and ended up having sex.

I felt very out of it, and things that i would definantly have said no to happened. Didnt feel i was able to say no. I've been married for years and a mum, my friend in a loving, live in relationship. Neither of us would or have cheated before. (I've been drunker on many occasions)

I had to have a STI test today, and it messed me up. I seem clear but who know re HIV and Hep B. i also reported it to the police. I felt very wobbley and emotional all day, but after reporting it, i felt calmer, and more in control, but numb towards it.

I rang my friend told her, what i did today, yest she was sure that we were drugged, but today, she's not sure, as she often has blank outs when drinking. I'm well confused.

I think she's panicing as she dosnt want to tell her bf what happened. I dont want to tell my hubby but know i have to, have no idea how he's going to take this. What makes this harder is he knows this girl and her bf. I think she's worried that my hubby'll tell her bf. I still have to tell my hubby about it - dont i? How can i stop my hubby talking to him, when he finds out?

Does anyone know of any support lines that help the partners deal with their partners going through this kind of thing?

my head is eveywhere. dont even really know if that all made sence

[gruntie]

this is a wind up post

everyone ignore it.

oh and I am a greenie, but oldie, so dont have a go

[jackthehat]

I did..............

[lilsecret]

Well said gruntie.

So, so often this type of question is posted here. And more often than not it is a greenie windup.

[oh-nooooooo]

Just because i am married with kids, does not mean that i cannot go out dancing with my friends, it does not automaticly mean that i am trying to live the 'single' life. My husband can go out when ever he likes, i dont assume he is acting all single, just having a laugh.

Why i went back to his house, i dont know, i dont remeber it clearly, after that drink it was like i wasnt really there

[lilsecret]

oh-nooooooo - look up the word irresponsible.

[pastafreak]

just the fact that condom is taking such an avid interest....makes me very wary of all this... would rather be proved wrong.

And oh-nooooo seems to remember TOO much..

[oh-nooooooo]

ok, so it was a stupid idea to attempt to get some help attempting to broach this massive issue with my husband. I am totally lost, my world is crumbling around me, because some tw@t has totally taken advantage of me. this is messed up behond words

[Velvetee]

You should probably go to the Police. I don't know how long such drugs remain in the system or if there would be any DNA eveidence. I can understand though, being married you would probably not be comfortable with your husband knowing what happened.

First port of call would be to speak to an advisor at an organisation like Rape Crisis.

[cazzz1975]

well ohnooo honesty is the best policy if you want to broach this with anyone.

[jackthehat]

Agreed. However, going out of the house without her husband is acceptable in our society, surely ?

I think you'd be first to the keyboard if keyplus had intimated a contrary view................

[cazzz1975]

by with holding it from her husband surely he would think there was more to it

[~max~]

I'm hoping this isn't a wind up.

Anyway...the fact the poster is a christian is neither here nor there! Nor is the fact she was out with a girlfriend, having drinks in a bar. FFS, next someone is going to accuse her of wearing a short skirt and "asking for it"...typical chauvinistic, old fashioned bullcrap!
She was raped!!! If she was drugged, she would have gone with him and not protested to anything. Will doesn't even enter the equation in this case, nor do personal beliefs or conscious behaviour. IT WAS NOT HER FAULT.

What did the police say? Did they take your statement? Did they ask you to go in for forensic tests?
No matter what happened, you have to tell your partner. It wasn't your fault, you were abused. Good luck.

[oh-nooooooo]

i went to the police today and made a statement.

[grasscarp]

my immediate thought was that this is condom in another green name. The same spelling mistakes, the same small i's for I etc. Also same rubbish. With condom in 24 hours we have had - should I sleep with hooker without my namesake on, cold sores, being sick, feeling sick, wife small for dates, can baby be mine, wife read my bank account, living far from chemist, stains on t shirt etc etc. Attention seekers with far fetched yarns should be ignored.

[gruntie]

he must of been a very devious man to get you Both drugged.

managed to get BOTH of you back to his

ffs, how drunk were you?