how do i get our relationship back into a relationship

[sheribee]

hi everyone, im 28, been with my hubby nearly 12 yrs, and im sooooo bored!!! he is 35, and is quite content on plodding along and just living life as it comes.
im exciteable, love spontenuity and love anything fun.
we have 2 children, 9 and 6, and we do lots with them, going parks, walks, meals out.
i have tried to get him to do stuff, like go to theme parks or away last minute but he wont, i like the excitement.
my life is passing me by, sometimes i feel like i stay coz i cant hurt him or the kids, i want some fun!
he is just so boring, it used to be great, but now we just plod along. i cant imagine the nxt 40 yrs like this.
i do love him, like u love a best friend, but i cant live like this anymore... what can i do to make things right, i really dont know!!!!

[cazzz1975]

can you not go to a theme park with some friends? some people no matter how old they are are not theme park people.
maybe this is more about you wanting to live because you had your children young? where as most of your peers would have been travelling the world or clubbing and having fun you had a baby to look after so maybe you feel that you missed out?

[madmaggot]

You're not a child; try to consider all the good things that you have. Your husband obviously loves you and your children or he wouldn't "do lots with them, going parks, walks, meals out".
Just count your blessings, you are so fortunate that your husband IS your best friend.
Do you want to spend your life going from one guy to another just to get the buzz of a new relationship?

[crazycathy2]

Hi Sheribee

I'm nearly the same age as you (28 in July) and have been with my hubby since I was 15.We also have 2 children but they are much younger - nearly 4 and 20 months.

Think as you had your children young you were too busy bringing them up to have much fun. I had to work to put myself through uni as my parents wouldn't support me so feel that I missed out on all the clubbing etc as had 2 jobs and studying.

You don't say if you've told your husband how you feel? Have you tried to inject some excitement into your lives. Like cazz1975 says theme parks aren't for everyone.

Maybe you could start a new hobby together and have fun in that way.

You say you love him like a best friend - do you mean that you no longer fancy him? Is that what the problem is?

[necro.guy]

who gives a f*ck about your boring empty life. GET out more. Just because you married a boring retarded slob and bore his children (lmao) doesnt give you the right to complain about it. you half witted bint. go sh@g his mates or something. who cares??????

[happyone2]

isnt someone going to do something about necro man ? his offensiveness is unnecessary and serves no purpose other than to serve himself ( how i dont know, but to be like this to people he doesnt know must mean he gets something from if ??)


re : this link

i think that you need to assess you,

After all perhaps he had hopes and dreams that cant now been fulfilled, perhaps he found a way to be at peace with that lose and has settled himself.

Perhaps he would lke some fun toooo !!

You can create that fun for both of you, i think some Relate might help - just to help you both talk about what you want from life without possibly sounding as if you are demanding it ............or threatening to walk away.

Dont throw the baby out with the dishwater !!

Good luck

[BRIZE]

sHERIBEE , How low must you be feeling to write what you have. if you are looking for excitement and he is not interested then you are obviously slowly drifting apart. You wouldnt want to live with you best friend for the next 40 yrs would you. Look for excitement elsewhere, try flirting with somebody , see how that makes you feel. take it further if you want. maybe become more adventerous in the bedroom. If you want to stay with him you will try it, if not flirt......its surprising how guilty and excillerated you will feel.

[sqad617]

Hi! sheribee.....jusy wondering how your daughter is progressing and what was the outcome?

[sheribee]

Hey squad.... still waiting to see specialist!!!! been cancelled twice now! got a new appointment now for next month!!! how frustrating!!

With regards to my hubby, i will give an example why im fed up... I have been told by my doc to rest as i have pleurisy aswell as a chest infection and i have trapped nerves in my chest, i am in serious agony!! I am not allowed to do anything till my pain is under control.
This morning he woke me at 7.30 to get up and help with the kids, as i screamed in agony and cried my eyes out in pain i made 2 lunche boxes up, made breakfast for the girls, got out their uniforms and sorted their bags out!
He let the chickens out and fed them, ran the water for the washes (girls wash them selves) and put their tights on.
He also took them school.
I was screaming in pain!! i wanted to kill him!
also, i struggled to make tea on friday, i asked him to wash up..... its still sitting on the side, even tho he has sat on his arse for 3 hrs today watching tv.
Im crying as i write this, he hurts me so much x

[Tups]

My late husband (he died at 58) didn't like having 'fun' - it was a dirty word to him. I survived by doing my own thing, both with the children and with my friends. He was a willing baby-sitter while I went out. I think it was actually a relief for him to have me out of the way, instead of being at home, complaining! It actually worked very well, living 'apart, together'. We both did the things we wanted to do and occasionally found things to do together.

[Tups]

By the way, the best way to deal with that necrotising.guy is to say nothing! Ignore him. His comments aren't worth your effort!