When do you think enough is enough

[Redrum]

Recent split, ex wont talk to me, he has asked me not to text or phone or email...but I know we still love each other...we were supposed to get married this year...I have had no contact since Friday...should I wait and if he wants to talk then take it from there ? Or should I make contact (bearing in mind I have always made the first move before) if I mean anything to him, I would just like him to make the first move to salvage this....he is my world and I really dont want to be without him. Im trying to keep busy....but cant eat. sleep or relax without my brain going into overdrive thinking and Im exhausted...

[christina81]

Well I dont know why you split, but I would suggest you respect his wishes otherwise your just gonna seen as nagging him! You might just push him further away. Maybe give it a few weeks or so and then try and talk. But dont be pushy about it!
Maybe he has made his decision not to be with you. and if he doesn't want to be with you,thats his choice! I know its not what you want to hear but unfortunately it happens!

[~Wingnut~]

Hi redrum

Sorry to hear about your split. It's a toughy but I would say if you can refrain from contacting him and wait for him to do it then it may tell you just how much you mean to him. If he doesn't contact you as hard as it may be you will have to try to move on as you can't force him to love and want to be with you.

If you usually make the first move and if he is waiting for you to contact him it may shake him up if he hears nothing from you, but I would be aware of him playing mind games with you too.

You need to get some rest so you can think logically, try to eat something to keep your strength up and just take each day at a time. We're always on here if you need to talk Redrum :o)

[Androcles]

I'm interested by your comment "I know we still love each other". Sorry to be a bit analytical, but you have probably come on here for some of that as well as sympathy, but what makes you say that, given the circumstances? Or is it just a wish? Do you have any idea why he is behaving like this? You say you have always made the first move, which suggests that what you wish for is what is driving you and he may have come to the point where he has realised he doesn't want to go there any more.

If you can pluck up courage, as I suggested to somebody else recently, ask a few of your friends who know you both for a totally honest perception for the relationship as they saw it. Whatever the answers it will give you something to think about and may help you decide whether it is worth trying again or acknowledge that you wanted this more than he did and it is gone.

It is so hard to be objective when your emotions are in turmoil as they are, but if you can be brave and face the situation truthfully, you will come out of it far stronger and in a better place for the next time.

Best wishes!

[SC00BY]

As horrible as it sounds, you should respect is wishes. As christina81 said you may look like you are nagging.

When I split with my ex, a friend of mine advised me to 'be selfish for a change and put yourself first'

I don't know you or your ex but it seems like, perhaps, you were putting the effort in 'making the first move'

Take some time out for yourself.

Best wishes.

[Brinjal]

No No No. dont contact him

[tamborine]

Dont creep after him - let him go, he's unworthy.

Move on, plenty more men out there.

[ummmm312]

Sorry to say but if he's asked you not to phone, text or email then there's a good chance he doesn't love you.