buying a wife

[poltergeist]

i am married now with a child due in 2 months. im going to meet my parents in law for the first time but my wife says i need to give them 3000 quid in a red envelope. wtf? thats nearly a months wage?!? we have a kid on the way and the house in the uk needs a lot of money spending on it!would this annoy you?

[tigersam258]

spend the �3000 on an assasin she wont be able to take half of your house then!

[jake-the-peg]

Isn't a month's wages about the amount de Beers likes to tell people they should spend on an engagement ring?

Different countries different customs!

[poltergeist]

lexie she told me YESTERDAY and i meet them in 5 days. i would do anything for my wife but because we are having a child very soon and she needs another years education to get a job after her degree and we NEED a lot of work on our house it isnt the right time to hand over wads of cash.

[poltergeist]

man i spent that on an engagement ring? well 2.2k anyway. it all sucks

[lexie..]

Just give a small something for now, like in the link that redcrx put up, and say you were not aware of the customs.
I don't think they would be offended.

[poltergeist]

well cool. I was going to buy some bird spit (swallow spit which is chinese medicine) and its very expensive like 300 quid for a bottle. and i will check out reds link also and get some more stuff. im going to speak to my wife later so see what she says. thanks ppl

[craft1948]

Isn't the red envelope something to do with good luck or health? I worked with a singaporean girl and when we were first introduced she gave me a greeting printed in chinese in a red envelope, and said it was important that I kept the envelope.

[MWB]

Poltergeist.

The family are going to Hong Kong for the celebration, or you're going to China for it?

[MWB]

I'll post back on here as soon as I've heard from my chum, poltergeist.

Hopefully it won't be long. :)

[poltergeist]

mate i am going to china for the celebration. i am happy about that as its half the cost of hong kong

[MWB]

Poltergeist.

As I'm in NZ & it's now 12.15am, I need to go to bed.

It's around 8pm where my chum is, but he's out & about. I've sent him an email & will hear back by tomorrow morning, NZ time.

I'll post you then. :)

[tamborine]

tell wifey you owe your parents �30k x your age for your upbringing & education - you need to pay them first!

[jno]

http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-chinese-lucky- money.htm

[caththecrazy]

I assume this was not an arranged marriage judging by other posts I've read it sounds like what is known as a liberal marriage.

My cousin is married to a chinese girl and the dowry is usually set out in the marriage agreement, which I suspect you did not even have.

The dowry doesn't necessarily have to be money it can be clothes, jewellery, land ot whtever is agreed. It is supposed to represent compensation for the family losing their daughter. It should reflect the wealth of the groom's family and in return the family should provide a meal.

Doesn't appear that other traditions have been followed so seems strange that this should be with a set amount. I think your wife has decided the amount.

[MWB]

Poltergeist.

Are you online?

[MWB]

Poltergeist, I'm still here. :)

[MWB]

Poltergeist.

My chum said that everyone attending the wedding celebration brings red envelopes of money. How much they bring depends on how well off they are. Have you paid the hotel for the celebration, or has your wifes family? Perhaps the 3000 pounds is to give to them for the reimbursement if you haven't?

Perhaps your wife didn't tell you about this until the last minute as she didn't know the figure and/or that you'd probably not be too happy about it.

He said "keeping up with the Jones" is very much alive and well in the Chinese community.

[poltergeist]

cheers for the information MWB

[bondie007]

That's the craziest thing I've heard in a long time... LOL She should really have told you in advance... But if you think its worth it, then pay up. Otherwise, tell her its tradition for in-laws to have paid for the wedding...!!!! :-)

[WhiteBear]

lol as soon she becomes british, she'l get all her family out of china and will start living in your house in the UK and then run off with all ya money!!!