Naive Gt Grand Daughter

[Mr Veritas]

Our (sjngle) Gt Grand Daughter who is 19, has "fallen in love" with a Gay male friend.
She has known this guy since she was a small child,and he is the same age as her,
He is openly gay,and has just started his first serious relationship.
She has not told him how she feels about him,he thinks that it is just a close friendship (which in reality it is).
What worries Elsie & I is,she is now scouring the Internat to find medications/therapies/counselling,to make him "straight"!
We have told her that she cannot change him,and she agrees (for a time) and then goes off merrily on her original course.
We are not really worried for the guy,as we feel (and hope) he will never find out.We are concerned for our Gt Grand Daughter's welfare when it becomes obvious these "remedies" won't work.We get the feeling that when they don't (and they won't) that she may take it out on the guy's new boyfriend,in the hope that the guy will then turn to her,which of course he won't.
A rather complex situation.
Any advice would be appreciated.

[China Doll]

Honestly... I think I'd let it run its course. It's going to be hard but keep an eye on what it is she's doing so that you're able to have an over view of the situation, offer your opinion as you have been doing and just remember her age. No matter how sensible a girl she is, every sense is heightened when younger, especially if you're a bit naive.

Ultimately, she needs to see this one throughb herself and either get a bit burnt (never nice to watch someone you love have that happen to them) or sonething will click and she'll see you and your wife are right. She will be ok though.

SHe's not depressed is she? Or a bit isolated or lonely?

[barry1010]

I really wouldn't worry at all. Deep down she knows this is an unattainable love, in the same way as some feel about pop stars and film stars.
It gives her a very safe way of focussing her feelings and exploring 'love'.
It is a crush and it will die a natural death, probably when she meets somebody more suitable.
In the meantime, let her talk about him without making her feel stupid or giving her false hope. Difficult for you.

[pastafreak]

it's rather sad,isn't it Mr Veritas......she is 'suffering' from a crush,and one hat will soon be defined as 'unrequited love if she continues in the same vein. I think for the time being,you may be best off leaving her to it. maybe a further discussion about how he is what he is,and nothing can or will change things will help. But there is little that you can do. If she insists on trying to change him-THEN more drastic action may be necessary. Just leave her be for now...I think she will soon face up to what may be a slightly painful reality.
Lets face it...she has known this guy all her life-they have essentially grown up together. He is or may be the dominant young man in her life,and she may not have realised until now just how important he is to her. Up until now she has had his full attention. She is afraid of losing him...even tho she won't.

[ummmm]

I wouldn't worry too much. She'll probably meet someone else, look back on this episode and go a shade of red.

I think the obsession bit stems from wanting something she can't have. At 19, I can't see it lasting too long

x

[Sqad]

Keep out of it as it is not your business.

[Sachs]

What a sad situation, having feelings for someone you can't do anything about. It can make you very unhappy.

[MWB]

I agree with sqad.

She's 19 & is old enough to make her own decisions, legally & otherwise.

She has to make her own mistakes in life. And learn from them.

[netibiza]

Sounds like a right old pickle to me!!

[sn�gs]

Sounds like infatuation... it'll pass... she needs a diversion...

Give her my number... I'll sort her out ;-)

[pastafreak]

She DOES sound naive and quite young for her age...

[lazy daisy]

She may be 19 and old enough to make her own decision. But that doesn't stop grand parents worrying.
My feeling is that she will be his "bestest" female friend and they will always have a very special bond.
If and when his relationship breaks, it will be her he will turn to.
Please try not to worry too much.