cant be happy

[jpzeppiec]

I have a boyfriend that loves me very much. He messed up in the begining of our relationship and I still cant get over it. Is that fair to him when he has been trying so hard? Should I just let this relationship go if I will never get past what he did? Another thing, I just had a miscarriage with his baby and it really just tore me apart. Im upset and he is getting so mad that im moping around all the time. Is that fair to me? I feel like this is such an unhealthy relationship. I dont even know why were still together.

[jno]

you don't say exactly how he messed up, but if he is now trying hard, perhaps you do need to let go and try again yourself.

The miscarriage is a different matter though. That's quite a traumatic experience and you need time to heal , mentally as well as physically. He needs to understand that. I don't think this necessarily an unhealthy relationship - what you need to do, I think, is sit him down and explain exactly how hard the miscarriage hit you and how it will take time to mend. If he still keeps nagging you about it then, yes, it may be he's not the guy for you (or anyone else). But I'd say try to work it through first before you write the relationship off. You do need support at the moment and he may still be able to provide it if he realises how much it's needed.

[Nannyjill]

Great answer from jno. You can't make any rational decision while you're grieving from the miscarriage. I would wait a while and do discuss how you are both feeling.

Good Luck.