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Cant let go
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Im probably gonna get lynched for this so here gos. im married but have been seeing someone else for 16 months. She is thelove of my life but we hve both decided to part and move on and i am now working on saving my marrage. However its not that simple, i ant get he out of my head admy partner knows this. I think thatthe problem is that we stll see each other around town and chat etc. We agreed to stay friends with each other, because i dont see why not. Iv no reason to not speak to her. Im ery confused and emotonal because i cant be with the one peson i really love. Will i ever get over her?
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Thanks for all that. I think its early days yet and time will heal. My wife has forgiven me and im very lucky to still bemarried. Ivetold her what she wants to know. The reason that i cant be with heris that theres a 20 year gap and she needs to enjoy life not be stuck with me. I just cant accept that i have to cut contact with her again because we are good frieinds. Im past the stage that i want to b intimate with her etc.
of course, he hasn't told us why he can't be with the other woman. it's not his choice so maybe she is married with kids. he's going to fawn over her forever, not knowing (as BOO says) the reality of a real relationship with her.
he can't have her, so he's staying put. men rarely leave their partner's unless there's another woman waiting for them. I feel offended for his wife, poor woman.
he can't have her, so he's staying put. men rarely leave their partner's unless there's another woman waiting for them. I feel offended for his wife, poor woman.
sara....in many marriages, the husband could say "You are not the woman I wanted, you are the woman I got"......that need not be a recipe for divorce.
One can indeed have respect for the wife and have a mistress......one can have respect for both wife AND mistress.
I do not know how old the wife is, or if children are involved , but it is not easy for the woman to find "the love of her life".............e.g failure of Dating Agency dates.
The pragmatic approach would be for the wife to accept the fact that she is secure and that he can have his mistress. In the long run, the guy will leave the mistress and not the wife.
One can indeed have respect for the wife and have a mistress......one can have respect for both wife AND mistress.
I do not know how old the wife is, or if children are involved , but it is not easy for the woman to find "the love of her life".............e.g failure of Dating Agency dates.
The pragmatic approach would be for the wife to accept the fact that she is secure and that he can have his mistress. In the long run, the guy will leave the mistress and not the wife.
No way could I stand back in the wings, knowing my husband was seeing to another woman, and wait for him to get over it & call it off. No Way Jose.
I know this does happen sqad, but no-one in that situation could genuinely be happy with it. Man or woman. Unless that particular person didn't like or want sex for instance, and though the 'other' person was providing that particular service and 'save them a job'....?!!
Each to their own, but I wouldn't personally stand for that. I'd either kick him out or go and find a distraction or dalliance of my own.
I know this does happen sqad, but no-one in that situation could genuinely be happy with it. Man or woman. Unless that particular person didn't like or want sex for instance, and though the 'other' person was providing that particular service and 'save them a job'....?!!
Each to their own, but I wouldn't personally stand for that. I'd either kick him out or go and find a distraction or dalliance of my own.
I think this is a generation gap thing. sqad thinks it's acceptable to keep a wife and mistress, and (mostly) my generation thinks this is not acceptable.
when you look at divorce rates, bear this in mind. we want to be treated with respect and don't accept any old crap, like some of the older generation of women have put up with. we can cope without men who treat us like this.
when you look at divorce rates, bear this in mind. we want to be treated with respect and don't accept any old crap, like some of the older generation of women have put up with. we can cope without men who treat us like this.
tha fact he has this other woman even on his mind whether he loves or lusts her means that he is not devoted to his wife. A marriage is nothing without trust. And she will never ever trust again. It seems more to me he is unable to have this other woman not because of his marriage but because of some other reason. And if he could have her he would leave his wife in a second.
Not all men (and women) who go on dating sites are sad pathetic losers, or just out for an extra-marital sh@g. Where do you think I 'met' Plaid? Where in this godforsaken fenland would I have met such a guy? One who was (more than) solvent, caring, eccentric, amusing, and introduced me to a hobby (sailing) I would probably never otherwise have had the chance to do? (And no - the fact that he mentioned having a yacht in his dating profile was not what initially enticed me!!!!!)
Sara, I applaud your self worth, honestly I do. But what you or I would do in this situatrion is a moot point. The fact of the matter is that Jessy's wife has chosen to forgive him and try to work at their marriage. With that in mind, she deserves that Jessy does likewise, and stops mooning over this woman and work at it with her. He obviously want's to so that's in its favour I guess.
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