I want your opinions please!

[CAJ1]

My boyfriend and I went away for the weekend as it was my birthday yesterday. I booked the flights and hotel but he paid for it.

Now whilst I appreciate that he took me away, he never got me a birthday card and he didn't even say happy birthday to me until 6.30pm last night when I asked him if he wanted to say anything to me! Only last week I was saying to him that we should make more effort to be romantic and thoughtful towards each other as it feels like we're just living together at the moment and he said he had taken what I said on board.

I would much prefer to have a card which has thought behind it than be taken away and have to book everything myself.

Now I don't know if its because women and men think differently (because I know if I talk to him he'll not understand and will say I'm making a fuss over nothing) but all my girl friends agree with me. What do you lot think?

[ummmm]

I'd rather the weekend away but I'm not a romantic person.

[bednobs]

it depends on your expectations of a relationship. It dosen't matter what you percieve he shuld or shouldn't have done - if you are not getting what you want to out of it, you could easily find someone else who would give you what you want.
Personally, both me and my husband dont have expectations of cards from each other, i would much prefer spending time with him, so what you described above would have been perfect for me, but clearly not for you

[4getmenot]

yer blokes dont think like us. My bloke doesnt give me a card unless I force him lol

[Smutmachine]

I always like to put my words, Feelings And poetry etc... Down on cards for my lady. In this busy world we live in iIts too easy to forget those magical words that first hooked us so i think Its necessary to "Enforce'' the message of love on a regular basis as its needs to be heard by by both partys, But moreso the women.

[CAJ1]

I don't want to go and find someone else though! I just want him to try and make more of an effort as he put little thought into it. I booked it all and he just turned up. Then asked yesterday if I wanted a birthday card as he could get one while he was out! I had a lovely time away and was looking forward to spending some quality time together its just that I wish he was a bit more spontaneous and romantic.

[ummmm]

My BF gave me my birthday card 2 weeks late and still in the wrapper...he left it in the works van.

[Canary42]

Dump him before it's too late - he's obviously not your type - too self-centred and thoughtless IMHO.

[ummmm]

That's a bit harsh for a minor fault...

[CAJ1]

But I love him as a person, he's funny, he makes me laugh, we have things in common and like doing our own things too. I don't want to bin off a 3 year relationship over a card!

[pericat]

Cards dont bother me - I prefer to get diamonds

[Smutmachine]

Did you actually tell him? There no point in suffering in silence and expecting him to read your mind at whats wrong, Buy him the book ""Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus'' force him to read it or better stiull read it with him and watch a miracle unfold.

[TTG]

If he does not buy you a Christmas card with girlfriend on it then get rid. Does not count if you have to prompt him. No excuses for forgetting birthdays and other special events. If you have a bad memory just buy a buy a calendar and mark all the important days on it each year.

[joggerjayne]

BFs seem to come in lots of varieties.

Some are gushingly soppy.

Others are a bit more clinical.

It doesn't mean he loves you any less. Maybe he is just a "type B"

Guys can sometimes feel that, if you have a really solid bond, they don't need to fawn all over you.

[Canary42]

Faced with the options, you've answered your own question. You won't change him, but that won't stop you trying, all women do it. Good luck to you both for a very happy future.

[Smutmachine]

Also how long have you been with him, Have you got kids, Im assuming you live together?

[Canary42]

Good suggestion from smutmachine - a very insightful book.

[flip_flop]

Some people just aren't that way inclined - I'm not. Of course I love Mrs flop, but I don't feel the need to tell her every five minutes (or at all), and neither does she me.

It sounds like he's different to you - so what.

My first wife tried to force me in to being a male clone of her - was never going to work and this just resulted in resentment. Don't try and force him to be something that, by nature, he is not.

[tamborine]

I'd rather a 'dirty weekend' than a cushion, gushing birthday card.

[CAJ1]

No smutmachine, I didn't say to him that I was upset he didn't get me a card but I did tell him last week that I wanted him to make more of an effort. I have that book, it makes a lot of sense! There's not a chance he'll read it though lol!

I agree TTG that I shouldn't have to prompt him to get me a card. He made loads of effort at the start of our relationship and now rarely does anything nice for me and everyone I know seems to be in the same boat with their fellas!

I just need someone in between those two JJ!

[Smutmachine]

But flip flop surely some people need a "Gentle nudge'' every once in a while?