I want your opinions please!

[CAJ1]

My boyfriend and I went away for the weekend as it was my birthday yesterday. I booked the flights and hotel but he paid for it.

Now whilst I appreciate that he took me away, he never got me a birthday card and he didn't even say happy birthday to me until 6.30pm last night when I asked him if he wanted to say anything to me! Only last week I was saying to him that we should make more effort to be romantic and thoughtful towards each other as it feels like we're just living together at the moment and he said he had taken what I said on board.

I would much prefer to have a card which has thought behind it than be taken away and have to book everything myself.

Now I don't know if its because women and men think differently (because I know if I talk to him he'll not understand and will say I'm making a fuss over nothing) but all my girl friends agree with me. What do you lot think?

[Smutmachine]

I'd rather a 'dirty weekend' than a cushion, gushing birthday card.

But tamborine wouldn't you like the whole package? a lovely card, The dirty weekend, Giant teddy, Diamond earrings, Hot ballon ride and champagne and chocolates at a swanky restaurant?

[CAJ1]

We've been together 3 years smutmachine, we live together but aren't married and don't have any kids.

I wouldn't want to force him to do stuff like that flipflop but he made the effort at the start of our relationship, brought me flowers, cards on special occasions and even when there was no occassion and now its stopped.

You and him may get on well tamborine lol!

[tamborine]

Mine didn't have my taste......borrow his credit card & buy your birthday pressy with it. A Porsche should do it?

[Smutmachine]

Well like i said caj sometimes us men lose the romantic side once we've "Got the Prize'' its a "Thrill of the hunt thing" so letting him know and gently reminders, Not week long nagging, May be the way forward!

[China Doll]

Personally you sound kind of high maintenance to me... You had a lovely weekend away which he paid for, he makes you laugh and you love him as a person... If you love him then you evne love the thoughtless rubbish. And romance is about a lot more than a poxy card from clintons. If you're not willing to chuck it all in over a card then get over it and move on.

He's not romantic, it's unfortunate, you can't change that and forcing someone to be something they're not doesn't tend to work out (and isn't romantic!). If romance outweighs all the other stuff in the relationship then clearly it's the wrong relationship. Personally i think you're making too a mountain out of a molehill.

(Sorry, but you did ask and I'm not really known for my 'tactful' side).

[mccfluff]

i wouldn't be bothered about a card but i think he oculd of said happy birthday at the start of the day!

[joggerjayne]

Say it as you see it, China ... LOL LOL

JJ x

[tamborine]

As Smutmachine says.....get the Porsche, slam him on his back over the bonnet & christen the car - you up for that Smutmachine?

[Sqad]

If I had a girlfriend who went "scuttling " to the "wenches" on R&D on AB, just because I hadn't said happy birthday, I would think what would she be like in a real crisis?

I would not be best pleased.

Have you told him that you have asked opinions from the "women" of AB?

[cazzz1975]

I have found that men are crap at remembering dates, this does not mean that they dont care, he did take you away for the weekend after all. maybe he has become a little "relaxed" in the relationship, he may need a gentle kick up the bum, make sure you make him feel special as well, it is a two way street

[Smutmachine]

Tamborine i always use my Bently as the "Christening car'' but i do have a nice red porche that'll do!

[cazzz1975]

I agree with china, its sad when a weekend away means nothing but a 1.50 birthday card means the world

[Canary42]

Incidentally, which one of you originally suggested the weekend away ?

[joggerjayne]

Shag his best friend.

That should make him pay more attention !!

[tamborine]

Dont want pleasures sinking into soft leathers of Bentleys.....give me the firm contours of a Porsche bonnet for my evil ways.

[CAJ1]

Sqad - the question was to the men and women on AB and I don't see anything wrong with asking others their opinion on the matter - surely that is what this site is for?

I have already said that I appreciated him taking me a way however I would have liked it if he had been more romantic, booked it himself, even said happy birthday or got me a card. It shows that throwing money at someone, taking them places and materialistic things aren't as important to some people as showing them that you love them or telling them so

[jno]

I think I'd be a bit aggrieved if I had to arrange my own birthday present. (In fact it happened to me once, and I WAS aggrieved.) Did he have any input at all apart from paying for it? If not, then this is about more than a card, it's about a guy who doesn't remember birthdays at all; which it seems makes him very different from you.

Over to you, though, you'll have to be the one to decide whether his good points outwiegh what you see as his bad points.

[Sqad]

caj1

Then say..."For women only"

Yes it is about opinions....from both sexes.

[ummmm]

She said it was for men and women Sqad....

[Sqad]

ummmm....not in the question.