My husband wont sleep with me

[wendy33]

Ive been married for a year on Friday, and although I know my husband loves me, hes never been big into sex. Last night I saw his lovely big stash of porn on his xbox. He obviously stays up at night watching his porn while Im waiting in bed for him. Im only 30, I work out in the gym regularly and I always make an effort to look nice. Obviously its not a physical problem if he can sort himself out, so why wont he sleep with me? Does anybody else think its unusual that a man would rather sort himself out than sleep with his wife? We havent had sex for about 2 months and we have no kids. If I try initiate it I either feel like its such an ordeal or it just doesnt happen. Hes gone to work and Ive sent him a text asking am I that repulsive that he would rather watch porn than sleep with his wife and whats wrong with me. I have no problem with the porn as such, its the fact that Im not getting any sex at all. Im really upset about this and dont know where to go next or what to do...

[B00]

Maybe the honeymoon is just what he needs? Least his internet porn will be curtailed then ;-)

[NoMercy]

If he hasn't got his porn with him whilst your away, you might get a bit more action. You know, less distraction...

[NoMercy]

*you're* before Lucy corrects me.

[B00]

GMTA ladies :-)

[NoMercy]

Who YOU? Nunca, mi amiga...

[China Doll]

I think I'd go with lazy and possibly he's burying his head in the sand over something... I can see your frustration, watching porn isn't particularly hideous but it's not on if you're being neglected in the bedroom as a result.

There is a criticism of watching too much porn that says it desensitises and can make people not able to acheive climax/arousal without the additional stimulation of porn... I'm not entirely sure how true that is (or know enough about it) but I can certainly see a logic to it.

Sit down and discuss it with him and if an amicable solution that means you're both happy can't be found then you'll need to weigh up your options and decide what exactly you want (if anything) to save in this relationship and whether it's worth the heartache to sort it out.

[wendy33]

Once a week will do me, even once a fortnight, im not expecting it every day. I just cant see it getting any better, Im so fed up that I dont even want to do it now.

[NoMercy]

Seriously, Wendy (that's my sister's name, btw) I would confiscate all his porn and give it back to him in drips and drabs. Tell him that he can have his treats if you can have yours... Well, you don't serve the pudding before the main course, do you?

;-)

[wendy33]

Thanks China Doll, I really dont want to end my marriage I just want a husband that wants to sleep with me. I dont think that seems too much to ask

[wendy33]

LOL good idea NoMercy :)

[China Doll]

Aye... hopefully marriage ending it won't be.

[andy-hughes]

Wendy - I perhaps didn't explain myself correctly.

When I mentioned pressure, i didn't mean to infer that you put the pressure on him - far from it - the fact is, like a lot of men, he may be putting the pressure on himself.

One thing about porn - apart from the obvious stimulation - is that it can give a man an inferiority complex! Usually, it's physically gorgeous people sending people into serial ecstacy .. except of course, it's not. It's professional actors who do this for a living, and can turn on and off their actions and reactions as soon as they hear 'Action' and 'Cut'.

Maybe your husband is setting himself goals he can't reach - obviously you will know this better than any of us.

The key is, communication. Expect him to be angry, because he is defensive, and that's a standard reaction, but try and get past that, and get into the fact that you love each other, and sex includes cramp, bummps, uncontrolled laughter, loosing the plot ... all the things that make us enthusiastic amateurs who do this for fun, and for love!

Talk to him. listen to him. Be patient, and you will get past this.

[ummmm]

Have you ever tried waking him up with a ***?

[ummmm]

***

[ummmm]

Bloody hell....bl0wj0b

[carlton23]

Perhaps he has a `boyfriend` elsewhere!!!!!!!!!