Odd Behaviour

[RainbowPrism]

Am very good friends with a guy at work, that is all it is friends. We are close but not in the way most people think, although there were inclinations he wanted more from our relationship, (I did not like him in that way) but that never affected our friendship. Lately though he has been behaving very oddly towards me, ignoring me, my texts, all in all not bothering to be around me, he has found a 'new flavour of the month' and seems to confide in her, I am baffled to know what i have done to upset him, we still talk but not as close as before, we have been to movies together, meals, concerts etc etc and generally had a laugh. I have since found out he has got himself a girlfriend, but why has he not bothered to tell me or talk to me about this ? I thought we were really good friends, I thought wrong, its all very juvenile on his part, almost as though he doesnt want me to know...why? I just dont get it. If he thinks I would be upset I am not, I am really pleased for him....now he seems to act as if I hardly exist ! If he considered me such a close friend why on earth could he not have told me ?

[Count-A-Strong]

Some of us blokes don't handle rejection well. Sounds like he's moved on anyway.

[cazzz1975]

maybe he was interested in you initially but seen it going nowhere and has distanced himself a bit?

[Juicyfruity]

Why not ask him directly?

[B00]

Like Cazzz and CAS has said, it sounded like he wanted to date you, not be your friend. It got him nowhere so he's moved on.

[Juicyfruity]

Rainbowprism (Great name) if the friendship means that much then I think that you should write a letter or a long text message explaining your feelings etc..
Good luck and please let us know the outcome (if any)

[B00]

Whilst im sure juicy means well, I couldn't think of anything worse to do than that ^^^

He'll be cringing with embarassment over getting it and you'll look a tit. seriously, bad idea if you want to keep your pride!

[TTG]

Sounds like he was friends with you while hoping for something more. Maybe he thought you'd become closer the more time you spent together.

Now he has a girlfriend, there is no need for him to do this.

[RainbowPrism]

Thanks all but from very early on I did let him know that there was no possibility of anything more than friendship as we are work colleagues, too close for comfort, but surely if I meant that much to him and we have done alot together I thought he would have some respect for our friendship and me to just 'ditch' it, so what if he has a girlfriend now, doesnt mean we cant be friends still, seems really silly from his part....and no I wont be sending any letter, Im just going to get on with work. I dont need false friends like that anyway. Guess i was just there to fill in a gap until something or someone better came along, so I have served a purpose but it hurts, how can people treat others like this ??

[B00]

Think you're missing the point rainbow? From what you've said i get the impression he didn't want to be your friend at all. Yes its ok saying he knew from the beginning...yada...yada...yada, but im willing to bet he was holding out hoping you'd change your mind. When he finally figured you weren't gonna he thought "sod this" and moved on.

[Count-A-Strong]

Blokes sometimes feel it's awkward to carry on as friends when there are unreciprocated feelings. I'd just leave it if I were you.

[RainbowPrism]

Well, we have been friends for well over a year lol....so he had a lot of holding out...when we have been on our own he never made a move on me at all.....

[Count-A-Strong]

So what were the 'indications that he wanted a relationship' if he didn't make a move on you?

[oldexpat]

Sounds like a typical bloke thing to do. As soon as they get a girl friend they ditch there mates. This is very common. Or he could be trying to ignore you etc to cause a reaction or the more he got to know the sort of person you were the less he liked you. I think it is most likey that he has a girlfriend now.

[Count-A-Strong]

//I have since found out that he has got himself a girlfriend//
Did you not see that bit oldexpat?

[oldexpat]

Count yes I did. Thats why I said ' As soon as they get a girl friend they ditch there mates' as the most probable reason.

[missnemesis]

It looks to me like Rainbow Prism was more than happy to have him hanging around her, knowing fine well and taking full advantage of how she knew he felt about her. He has obviously become fed up with this situation and has found someone who will return his feelings. RP is now 'put out' by not having her little hanger on anymore.

He stayed in the hope that it would become something more than friends, it didn't so he has moved on, naturally so, in my opinion.

[Canary42]

One thing you haven't considered - the feelings/opinion of his girlfriend - especially so early in their relationship when she may still feel insecure and unable to accept his close friendship with you - given the option of losing her, or your friendship, it's fairly obvious which direction he would take.
Time may improve things, but if not you must just put it down to experience.

[ummmm]

I got dumped by one of my best mates when he got a GF. She didn't like me. Well she liked me when they had an argument and she didn't know where he was. As soon as they sorted it out she hated me again. Oh well...nevermind.

[piggynose]

rainbowprism, wake up!!!!
why do you think he got himself a g´friend?
your man friend reminds me of me, as i´ve been down that road myself many times in the past. when your self-esteem gets eroded away. when you need more than just a mate. have you forgotten that yr friend has feelings?not all men jump on women to show their feelings you know, some have patience. but just like yr friend it eventually runs out.
move on.

[RainbowPrism]

I am not sure I understand your answer Piggy, why have I eroded his self esteem ? In what way? We were freinds end of, I am pleased that he has found someone, Im just confused why Im the worst thing ever now, so much for friends.