Old girlfriend

[stevieweevie]

Hi All

An ex girlfriend, whom for the last year has been engaged and living with another guy, has recently split from him.

Now she is texting me, saying we should keep in touch, and now these texts have become pretty graphic in a sexual way.

Even though I would love to give in and start back up with her, I have massive hang ups, (and i suppose, trust issues with her, after being with someone else), has anyone else been in a similiar situation?

[China Doll]

Sounds like she's on the rebound to me and looking for a safe option. I'd steer well clear.

[ummmm]

Yep sort. So she wasn't the one who caused you the trust issues?

[woofgang]

let me put it this way you-bargepole-old girlfriend....

[Sqad]

<<<has anyone else been in a similiar situation?<<<<

Yepp, somebody must have.

<<<have become pretty graphic in a sexual way. <<<

Get in there....what have you got to loose?

[carmalee]

much as I love sqad and respect his advice - only act on this particular gem to drop from his lips if you are not likely to get, or are still, emotionally involved with your ex. As a purely physical exercise, great - go for it but if emotions come into it steer clear.

[boxtops]

Would she still be texting you if she thought you had got together with another girl while she's been away? Sounds to me like she knows you're on your own, she's been with you before, and you look available. Not sure why you have trust issues with her thought, if she split with you before taking up with the other guy. If you have any doubt, don't.

[joeluke]

Sqad's right, never look a gift horse in the mouth..........if it's on a plate and you fancy it then do it

[carmalee]

tis obvious some never even to get to dip a toe in the gene pool.

[joeluke]

Carmalee???

[NoMercy]

And some gene pools could use a little chlorine.

[joeluke]

Just who is this Gene Pool geezer anyway?

[carmalee]

joeluke - the original postee clearly had a few issues about getting together with an ex. My original reply seemed pertinent and as such I gave (what I thought) was a sensible answer. Frankly, the supposition that if it was on a plate and therefore 'easy pickings' leaves me to suppose there are certain evolutionary processes missing when you suggest he takes the path you suggest..

[joeluke]

Carmalee......it's called having an opinion

[NoMercy]

And its species is Cro Magnon...

[notnotnot]

An ex,is an ex,for one good reason! x

[joeluke]

Wasn't Cro Magnon playing in goal for Montenegro last night?

[AlBags]

You must be crackers .. falling for that one.
Although tits and ar$e can be tempting .. think of the reasons you split up to start with.

[carmalee]

joeluke - exactly!

[andy-hughes]

Be careful.

When anyone leaves a long term relationship, there is a feeling of insecurity, and that naturally leads the individual to look for a situation in which they felt safe, and knew where they were with the other person.

A recent ex is the perfect individual - familiar, safe, comforting, and a re-affirmation of desireability and attraction.

Trouble is - it's not real, and it doesn't last. before you know where you are, you are both scratching open the wounds that separated you in the first place.

If you still feel anything at all for this woman - or you don't want to take advantage of her vulnerable state, then accept that she is not the one for you at this time, and you are not the one for her - it will end in tears.

If however, as some other responces have suggested - you have no concicence, and will accept rebound sex when it's on offer, and you can walk away unscathed when it ends again, then by all means go for it.

I think I know which option you are going to go with.

[joeluke]

OP doesn't say whether he has any better offers than this on the table?

Any sex is better than no sex