Anxious

[lylabellablueyes]

I'm quite an anxious person and think the worst in things. Such as my back might me achey, so I assume there's something terrible wrong. It's silly really and I'm aware of this.

Docs tried to put me on anti dePressants, but I refused.

Any tips on how I can sort of train myself to think more positive as it really is easier said than done?

Just want to be happier. Thanks x

[radiogaga]

everytime you have a negative thought, acknowlege it then remind yourself its not really that big a deal. you may have to do this for a while.
but the really positive thing is your self awareness, you are aware you are thinking negitive thoughts, some people have no self awareness of their thoughts or behaviour at all.

[lylabellablueyes]

Will this eventually work then. It's stopping me being fully happy. I never feel satisfied with life at he minute. I don't want to feel like this as I know how lucky I am really x

[radiogaga]

take one day at a time.
write down all the good things in your life.
try something new (half marathon)? walk it if you have to!
try to get out and about more, fresh air and a change of scenery.
as i said the negative thoughts will come back just acknowlege they are their and dismiss them, x

[lylabellablueyes]

I'm out everyday and just get bored so easily. Nothing seems to Cheer me up, apart from my child :-)

I will take your advice though and try. Many thanks :-) x

[classylady60]

Lyla, unfortunately depression takes all forms and is usually caused by a chemical imbalance so it's not always easy to change things in your mind. However, sometimes doing daily physical exercises can actually help to feeling good and when you start to feel good about yourself you can then start to think positively. It's not always easy to start on a daily regime but if you could get into some sort of routine to suit yourself each day, you might find that once you start you will look forward to each day and the more positive thoughts you can generate will certainly help you overcome this. Why not Google this and see what you come up with? Hope this helps and best wishes to you for a change that will come about.

[sherrardk]

Have you felt like this for long? Could it be hormones or maybe feeling overwhelmed by the thought of looking after a toddler and a baby?

[classylady60]

That's true Sherra...as I said, chemical imbalance...hormones all over the place can one of the problems can't it.

[sherrardk]

Sorry Classy, your answer wasn't there when I started typing mine.

[lylabellablueyes]

Thanks guys. Sherrard I have always been quite hard to please tbh. But more so maybe as the thought is overwhelming, although I'm excited too. Just don't want to start feeling worst as time goes on, especially with a baby and toddler to look after would rather sort it now x

[sherrardk]

Hi lyla - when I had my second child I was so anxious - would I be able to cope, would I be able to love them both enough, etc (I have always been a worrier and think about the worst that could happen). On my third I was fine but when I had twins I nearly had a melt down. On the day they said I could come home from the hospital I burst into tears as I did not know how I would cope (with three under 7s and twin babies after a c section) but I did. I hope you can sort out these feeling and enjoy your time with your little one and the baby (when he/she arrives) as you won't get this time back. Is there a friendly toddler group you could got to - you'll soon find out that you are not the only one who feels like you do. Hope you get it all sorted out, x.

[classylady60]

Lyla, perhaps as you say you're hard to please, maybe you are too hard on yourself and expecting more than you can give at this time. Perhaps you could try to accept that for the time being things aren't as you'd like them to be but they will get better...don't expect to run before you can walk over this...one day at a time and don't expect to be able to change things immediately. Slowly, slowly catchee monkey as they say lol.

[lylabellablueyes]

Thanks everyone. It is nice to know I'm not just being over the top and strange. I appreciate the great advice and take it all on board xx

[hc4361]

You must have something to look forward to every day.
A tv programme.
15 minutes p&q in the bath.
10 minutes dancing round your living room with the music up high (daytime, so as not to upset the neighbours)
A walk to a cafe for a cup of tea and a bacon sarnie that you haven't cooked
Half an hour doing a jigsaw, crossword, knitting, learning French - whatever you like but don't feel guilty about it.

Make a note of worrying symptoms and the date and forget them. Tell yourself if you still have the symptoms in one month you will see your GP and accept his advice - if he says he can see no hairs growing out of your chin, there is no hairs. If he refers you to a specialist, go, but don't expect the worse.

Ask your GP to be referred for counselling. There is nothing like telling somebody all your troubles to realise how daft you sound. Or to realise there is a problem that needs sorting.

Volunteer. An hour a week at your local charity shop; or feed an old person in hosptial; or pick litter once a month.

Think about all your old anxieties. Make a list. Cross of every one that was false. Your bad back wasn't cancer of the spine (or whatever). Cross it off. What's left? Think about them as if you were listening to your best friend.

You know you are over anxious - that is very good. It means you can remind yourself to make allowances for yourself, and to relax - see how you feel in the morning, next week, whenever.

Please remember, whatever it is, good or bad, will pass.

[boxtops]

lylabella - it's easier to say that do, and you are in a difficult time at the moment - but try to think of your glass as half full, not half empty. I am sure that you have lots to be positive about - home, babies, etc - but if you are understandably emotional, the negatives can get on top of you. You are not alone, please be assured - but you can and will change the way you look at things, believe me. It does work.

[boxtops]

^^sorry - meant to say "it's easier to say than do"...

[lylabellablueyes]

Thanks everyone. I've felt better the last few days, so your commets honestly did help xx

[radiogaga]

Im really pleased for you lylabellablueeyes!

[sherrardk]

Glad to hear you are feeling a bit brighter - hopefully we will get some good weather soon and you will feel even better.