Work Colleagues

[suechu]

Hi all, trivial but bugging me.

My colleagues bang on endlessly about family events in their life, which I take a genuine interest in. But it's all one-way - the other day I mentioned a major local sporting event my son was involved in and their eyes glazed over and there was complete silence - no exaggeration - it was embarrassing. This happens every time on the rare occasions I mention anything that's happening with my family and is not something that's happened in my previous jobs.

Go on AB'ers give me some strategies. And I hope you're all having the lovely weather we are here. xx

[suechu]

bump

[Tilly2]

I usedto work with someone like that. She was really very egocentric and whatever you talked about, she managed to turn the subject round to herself. It used to drive us all mad,
I don't think there is much you can do apart from closing your ears and saying 'mmm' occasionaly.

[suechu]

Thanks Tilly. I'm quite a good listener and really do take a genuine interest in what's going on in other people's lives and am used to it being reciprocated. It was actually quite funny on this occasion as the tumbleweed blew across the office floor and there was deadly silence as though I'd mentioned something unmentionable...

[bednobs]

if you are genuinely interested in others as you suggest, but they are nit interested in you, i don't see what the problem is - just keep listening to them and stop saying stuff about you

[DJHawkes]

they sound like they are desperate to portray a happy family life that maybe does not really exist sue, and if they had to attend something socially with yourself that would be revealed and so feel confident that you don't need to share your own family's happy events with anyone because you know how fulfilling and precious it is. they are adrift from it all i think.

[DJHawkes]

oh and it's dull and overcast here, laughing at the neighbours who've been and bought a huge patio set on friday and it's still in the garage lol

[spudqueen]

I wish I could help you. My Aunt is just the same with me. I see her once a week when I take her out for lunch and take her shopping. I hear the same stories week after week from her, but she never takes an interest in what I'm up to. She has even started retelling me one of her tales when I was talking! It's not as though she doesn't have a life of her own as she does. She's often out and about, she's not infirm or housebound or anything, so I don't think it's jealousy. Oh well, I just end up saying less and less every week.

[suechu]

I see what you're saying Bednobs, just give up and listen! And thanks, DJ, you might have something there. It really is beyond my understanding how people can be so egocentric but I guess I just need to accept the situation as it is and try not to fall of my chair with shock if they ask me anything about my goings on! As I say, never came across this before at work, so it will actually be a relief to give up and shut up. What a glorious Bank Holiday here - hope the sun's shining on you all and thanks all for your words of wisdom.

[AlwaysConfused]

Many people are not interested in sports. You sometimes need to mould your conversation to who you are talking to. I talk about fishing and football with some, and cooking and housework with others. Other people I steer clear of conversation because I have nothing in common whatsoever. Rather than starting conversation, just join in

[Peter Pedant]

.

Your kids dong X fantasitc you must be so proud of him,
my kids doing Y

is all part of office thingey isnt it ?

[MrIncredible]

You've just described nearly everyone i have ever worked with, People don't listen anymore they just wait for ther turn to talk!
Some people where I work assume i am quiet and shy, others might assume I'm grumpy, in truth I cant be bothered to listen anymore to other people stories/woes etc if they can't be bothered to listen to me...So i have stopped engaging in office chitter chatter.
The sad thing is though my eldest step daughter is exactly the same if not worse, she will often interupt what my wife is saying to tell her own story (hopefully this is down to immaturity and she will grow out of it) but i have in the past interupted my sd and asked her "what did your mum just say to you" and she looks at me blankly..not listened to a word her mum has been talking about...

My advice, next time one of your colleagues is telling you about their family, yawn loudly and say thats "thats nice" whilst looking completely in the opposite direction.

[Purple_Popple]

No one has the monopoly on problems.
If you want others to listen to you you have to be first be a goid listener.
I also work with a few colleagues one of whom is massively egocentric. I try to just listen...but inside im quietly laughing.
Then another colleague expects me to listen to them bleat on about their woes and as soon as I feel the need to open up on an issue they make it quite clear theyre not interested.
Nowt so queer as folk!

[Purple_Popple]

**good** not gold :)

[grasscarp]

Maybe one of your colleagues is approachable and you could have a private word with them. Tell it how you told it to us. If you want to stay working there you need to feel comfortable and if they really are that cool towards you the other option may be to look at going somewhere else.

[suechu]

Thank you all, lovelies! Very helpful.