Did I miss much being brought up without a Father?

[tonywiltshire]

My Father died when I was a child, I hardly remember him, have I missed much in being brought up without a Father?

[rowanwitch]

My father died when I was 2 and a half my sister was 6 weeks old... I effectively lost my mother at the same time as she ignored me for the baby..
I believe losing my father has affected my life in many ways especially in the area of relationships

[tonywiltshire]

Do you think it made you harder and less responsive to the needs of others Rowan, or do you find you are too concerned over others?

[emmie]

sometimes it's better not to have one, if he was anything like mine. I would have given anything to have had a good caring dad, but it didn't happen.

[ummmm]

Why were you brought up without a father? I think the reason would make a difference....

I would Yes, you've missed out.

[Booldawg]

thats pretty much subjective tony.

[rowanwitch]

Didn't really know what a normal family life was... because the little one became the centre of mothers universe I became attention seeking and then after being pushed away so many times I developed depression in my early teens... just didn't trust people as it seemed they would just go away... reinforced when some older rels died soon after

[bednobs]

do you blame your sister? do you have a relationship with her now? Don't answer if it's too personal

[ummmm]

Rowan, I would have thought that was an issue with your Mother and not that you grew up without a father. Your sister could have became the centre of her universe even if your Dad was still alive.

[tonywiltshire]

I think the problem with those of us brought up without a Father is that we have no idea what we would have been like had we had a caring Father, not one such as em10 had.
I had a step-father whom I did not get on with and who sent me off to boarding school as soon as he could. I just wonder what it would have been like to have had a caring Father.

[rowanwitch]

great relationship with my sister...problem was I was daddies girl so it probably would have balanced out...

[ummmm]

Do you remember him Rowan?

Tony, not everyone had caring fathers, and everyone got on with their fathers. Your experience with your step Father could be just like many's experience with their real Fathers.

[tonywiltshire]

My question is not meant to be subjective Booldawg, I value what others think about the lack of a Father.

[daffy654]

My mum put me and my 6 siblings into care when I was 3 months old, she had most of my siblings back home later on except for me and my little bro. We effectively grew up with no parents. My dad died when I was 8 but i'd had virtually no contact with him anyway.
It has affected me in many ways but to list them on here would probably take months.

[vulcan]

I think the death of either parent must have some effect on children, at the time obviously but later in life.When my wife died our sons were 10 & 12 and although they have had relationships neither have married. They are both in their early forties and I sometimes wonder if their mothers early death had some effect on not marrying.

[bednobs]

Hi i think you are asking an unanswerable question. By definition each of us has a different experience

[tonywiltshire]

Perhaps I did not miss much them ummmm, people like Daffy had it much harder.

[craft1948]

I agree with em...............my father was a total prat. One of the best days of my life was when he buggered off when I was 13.

[emmie]

TW, i suspect you have missed out, as much as i and my siblings did by having a father that was a bstard.

[andy-hughes]

It's impossible to say tonywiltshire because wer are all the products of both our childhood, and our ongoing life experiences, they make us who we are.

Your daa may have loved you and developed an excellent relationship with you, he may not - as mine did not. He loved me, but never liked me, and I was a constant disappointment as I did not fulfil the notion of a son that he had fixed in his mind. Might I have been better off without him? Again, who knows?

I know my children have been miles better off because of him - I vowed that no child of mine would dread the company of me as their dad the way i dreaded time with him, which only consisted of work of some kind in his business, or looking after the family cars - always accompanied by endless lectures, with no ineraction, or opinion invited or tolerated from me.

I have a deeply loving relationship with my daughters because I put as much effort into affirming them as people, and confirming my love and support no matter what happened - would I have done that without my father's example of how not to ba a dad?

Who knows?

You are the person you are as a result of your circumstances, as are we all - anything else is speculation, and there's little point in it.

[rowanwitch]

No I think I have created false memories based on what others have told me...