Technology1 min ago
Would You Make A 12 Year Old Tidy His Room?
82 Answers
Two differing opinions here between me and OH - the floor of son 's room is terminally covered in various things -clothes ,plastic bags -lego he's been playing with -his computer desk covered in various electronic equipment charging up and his bed an explosion of duvet ,dirty underwear and usually about three pairs of pyjamas in various states of cleanliness. He has a laundry bag but can't be bothered to throw his dirty laundry into it. I usually go ballistic about once a fortnight and threaten to put everything in a plastic bin liner and put it in the garden -OH says I'm over reacting and its his room -if he wants to live like that that's his prerogative - just close the door and when he runs out of clean clothes, or loses something he will tidy things up. I reply it's my duty as a parent to make him realise a tidy environment is both psychologically and hygienically important - who is right?
Answers
I have mixed feeling of this. In one respect I tend to think a person's room is their own and if they wish to life in a mess that's their choice. On the other hand I'm aware that good habits accumulated when young prevent problems later in life. Difficult one. Maybe here are some minimum standards you could define as being what is acceptable in your house and ensure...
11:15 Wed 24th Apr 2013
Been there, got the t-shirt and DVD. Think you're fighting a losing battle. Better just to close the door and ignore it. He'll soon get the message that if he doesn't put clothes into the laundry bag they don't get washed. My daughter has a 12 year old and is going through exactly the same thing. Need to take a step back.
My daughter lived in an constantly untidy room till she left home when she was in her early twenties.
My wife and I tried all sorts of things, but none of them worked.
Sometimes when my daughter was a work I would go in the room and give it a massive tidy up, so it looked lovely when she came home from work. I hoped this would make her realise how nice a tidy room looks and she would want to keep it that way.
But it never worked and it was soon a mess.
She left home a few years ago and now lives with her boyfriend, and I hoped that would cure her untidyness problems, but it didn't. She is still just as messy.
Funnily enough she is fanatical about how she looks, her clothes, her make up, her jewelery, her handbag, but has no idea how to tidy a room.
I dont think your can force a child to live in a tidy room.
In your case I may be tempted to remove any clothes he leaves lying around and hide them in the loft. Gradually he will run out of clothes and wonder where they all are.
It may make you feel better, but I am not sure it will cure his untidyness problem.
This whole problem is one many parents have and I am not sure of the answer.
My wife and I tried all sorts of things, but none of them worked.
Sometimes when my daughter was a work I would go in the room and give it a massive tidy up, so it looked lovely when she came home from work. I hoped this would make her realise how nice a tidy room looks and she would want to keep it that way.
But it never worked and it was soon a mess.
She left home a few years ago and now lives with her boyfriend, and I hoped that would cure her untidyness problems, but it didn't. She is still just as messy.
Funnily enough she is fanatical about how she looks, her clothes, her make up, her jewelery, her handbag, but has no idea how to tidy a room.
I dont think your can force a child to live in a tidy room.
In your case I may be tempted to remove any clothes he leaves lying around and hide them in the loft. Gradually he will run out of clothes and wonder where they all are.
It may make you feel better, but I am not sure it will cure his untidyness problem.
This whole problem is one many parents have and I am not sure of the answer.
I had a female friend who`s bedroom was a pigsty (even when she was in her early twenties) and her mother used to go in and clean it up for her. Now she`s married and a mother, her own house is a mess. If he doesn`t learn good habits now, I pity the woman he lives with one day who has to clean up after him because that`s what his mother did (no disrespect - just my opinion)
I was brought up by a mother who was so tidy she only allowed us to get our toys out for a couple of hours a day - even now I do a mini spring clean if I know shes going to visit -so I have got a little leeway on untidiness. If I go in for bedroom inspection every other day I get told by OH to chill out -leave him alone -LOL! OH is a bloody untidy b*gger too -Arggg! When OH was away for 3 weeks recently the house was lovely and tidy -lonely but tidy ;-)
My 9 year old has been tidying her room since she was old enough to help tidy
My eldest, it got to a point where I was fed up with asking so, any clothes she wanted washing had to go in the laundry. Not there, they go unwashed. Then I dried them, opened the bedroom door and dropped them where I could see a space, often on the floor, then I closed the door on it all
If you don't make him now, then I feel sorry for his wife
My OH's mother never made him tidy up or get his dirty clothing to the laundry basket. However, I did - I refused to wash any of his clothes unless they were in the basket, not on the floor next to it. He soon got the message when he had to wear a dirty shirt (white with a nice food stain on it) to work in the summer months
My eldest, it got to a point where I was fed up with asking so, any clothes she wanted washing had to go in the laundry. Not there, they go unwashed. Then I dried them, opened the bedroom door and dropped them where I could see a space, often on the floor, then I closed the door on it all
If you don't make him now, then I feel sorry for his wife
My OH's mother never made him tidy up or get his dirty clothing to the laundry basket. However, I did - I refused to wash any of his clothes unless they were in the basket, not on the floor next to it. He soon got the message when he had to wear a dirty shirt (white with a nice food stain on it) to work in the summer months
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