Money As A Wedding Gift?

[thesecondlaw]

Next month, I am going to my nephew's wedding. He's a lovely bloke (as is all my sisters family), but I find it a bit much that he is asking for cash as a wedding day gift. His two brothers also wanted money. It seems kids today have everything they want before they walk down the aisle. My wife and I had a little notebook with ideas of things we needed for our new house, wouldn't dream of asking for money to blow on a holiday, the like of which we could never have afforded. So, is this now the norm?

[bednobs]

yes, it's the universal gift. Most people now llive together before they get married and have already accumulated house stuff, so eally don't need more. Or if they do, they can buy it with the money they have received. I don't see the problem

[bednobs]

ps, if you are uncomfortable giving money, then just buy a gift (or even not at all)

[ubasses]

Everybody's circumstances are different, if they have already set up home together, they will have had to buy most of the thing they need, but would love a honeymoon they could not afford. We attended one last year where cash was requested. They were living in a fully furnished flat, so nothing required there, we were quite happy to contribute towards a honeymoon they otherwise would not have had. One year on they are managing to get themselves onto the property ladder.

[Jennykenny]

As far back as 1976 when we got married, we asked for money as we were going to work abroad, and had no house to store things.
I agree that some people feel uncomfortable about it, and you are under no obligation, but, hopefully, it may be the only time he gets married.
You can always suggest that they use it for something in particular, like towards a holiday.

[dannyk13]

In some weddings money is pinned to the bride's dress.

[ladyalex]

It is the norm now and ,especially if the couple have already set up home together, very sensible. They can then spend the money on what they want/need.
I've always taken the view that gifts, once given, belong entirely to the recipient and the donor has no further interest in them.
If you are not comfortable with a chexk, perhaps vouchers....Amazon, Mohn Lewis

[Sqad]

\\\So, is this now the norm?\\\

Yes.

[ladyalex]

^^ John Lewis or IKEA

[Davemano]

Has happened to us twice in the past six months and it certainly saves the headache of pondering what to buy. Similarly about 18months ago the couple asked only for donations to their chosen charity. Times and customs are changing.

[ummmm]

yes...the chances are they don't need a toaster.

We always give money.

[sherrardk]

I'd be delighted not to have to go shopping.

[Retrochic]

Surely its better to give cash and have them enjoy it in whatever way they please than buy them something that will either end up in the back of a cupboard or on Ebay?

[furrypusscat]

You may feel that giving money does make you feel uncomfortable as I would feel the same. You probably feel that to give money you would feel you had to give more than what the price of a gift would be so as not to offend but I would be inclined to give a gift. I will be in the same position next year when my niece gets married.

[thesecondlaw]

Thanks for all your input, folks. It seems I'm a bit 'out of the loop' when it comes to weddings. I tend to go to more funerals than weddings these days. Thanks again.

[mallyh]

just been to a friends daughter wedding and gave £20 as money was requested ,there were 100 guest from day (and night time only invites )so if everyone gave £10 or £20 they did well .

[bednobs]

lol if you don't count the "20 they paid for everyone's meal i suppose!

[elliemay1]

...but how much would the meals have cost?

[mallyh]

the parents paid for the food and there was a small buffet in the evening .

[chrissa1]

http://i59.tinypic.com/2wce694.jpg


This is what my daughter and her fiancé have asked for at their wedding.

[mosesg]

One of my friends used a site where you bought and experience as part of their honeymoon. There were options like cocktails by the pool, surfing lessons, tour of Pearl Harbour etc. This was fun for the guests. Some people just gave them money towards their honeymoon. Another wedding I went to they just wanted money to do up their bathroom. I guess the tradition of giving gifts if dying out, probably due to couples living together first the tradition of giving gifts to help them set up home is outdated