Does anybody write "Thank you" letters any more?

[Whoever]

I recently sent my God daughter a fairly generous cheque in anticipation of her wedding as she and her boyfriend are living in rented accommodation and saving up for their first house. I know the cheque has been cashed but she hasn't even bothered to phone or write to say "thank you". I feel rather hurt and wonder if if I'm being unreasonable in feeling like this.

[bigmamma]

Oh my Whoever , I would be upset not to at least get a phone call or a little note , anything in fact to let you know it had reached them .I understand you would be hurt xxx

[leelapops]

Really? Not even a call? :O I am appalled. I am 22, and I still write thank-yous at Christmas and on my birthday.
I would also definitely write if someone gave me any kind of gift.

I don't think you are being at all unreasonable. I understand she will have a lot on with the wedding, but for me, you would be priority. I know you aren't expecting her to fall down at your feet with unabashed gratitude! But a "thank you" would have been nice, no?
x

[meglet]

If I were you I would have a little word with her mum. She's probably totally caught up in pre wedding stuff but a quick "thank you and see you at the wedding" not would not go amiss.

[beanebabe]

Agree it is terrible, a sign of the times! I am nearly 40 and still write thank you's to my relations and I make my children do them too. I have friends who don't say thank you for presents even when I see them almost every day in the play ground - now that is ignorant. Embarass your God Daughter by asking her what she plans doing with the money!

[Ice.Maiden]

I think it's bad manners not to thank someone for a gift, but perhaps your god -daughter's saving her thanks for after the wedding. Most people I know save their presents for the day itself, and then once all've been received and opened, the bride and groom respond. However, unless the couple are up to their necks in making arrangements, and simply haven't had chance to get back to you, then I think you should contact the girl and just check that the money that's been cashed's gone into the right account.

[I Love Snow]

I am 32 yrs old and still write thank you cards. I have an elderly auntie who can't see very well so she gets a (very long) phone call. I have a god son who i don't see from one year to the next but i still sent birthdays and christmas presents but after 3 years of not knowing if he ever got them (i tried phoning but there never seemed to be anyone in or if i did ask his mum her answer was that she didn't know as he got so many presents and that she would get him to phone) So hence i'm still waiting for the call. His birthday was in march so i decided not to send anything and low and behold i got a call from his mum asking if there was some sort of postal strike where i am cause nothing arrived for his birthday. The cheek !!

[skyep]

Hi who, no you are not being unreasonable!!!!
I use to send money in a card for one of my nieces. One would always send a thank you letter, the other nothing! The one that sent the thank you letters actually said one year, you'll have to stop this now, I'm an adult with a family, you don't need to do that anymore, which is what I did. I still send a card to both but no money. How very bad mannered of your god daughter! Stop the present giving, she'll soon get the message xxx

[treborrobert]

fool comes to mind ! .. if you are stupid enought to give a large sum to someone more the fool you are ...

you are only a godparent ....

in future think ...

and dont do it again .... bet they come to your door in a couple of years askin for more help .. after all you have mney to give away ! ...get my drift

[Jampanda]

Hi Whoever, no you are not being unreasonable, I stopped sending cheques and presents after years of not knowing if they had even arrived!! I wasn't expecting words of gratitude and joy - just a quick 'thanks the cheque/pressie arrived safely'. You are obviously a very kind and generous person, nobody is that busy that they can't make a quick phone call to a benefactor!!!

[darcydark]

Yes, I do think people have stopped sending or saying Thank You for presents, they now seem to expect them. I have given wedding presents and never received a Thank You. Last wedding invitation that came to me had a note stating they were going on a holiday for a lifetime so no presents were required, just to send money towards holiday????????? Rude or what?? Maybe we should stop buying presents altogether

[warpig3]

It depends, how long has it been since you sent the cheque and since it was cashed and does she normally write a thank you letter for gifts etc you send.

The reason why I ask is that I have written 20 thank you letter to family and friends for gifts received for my new baby and I have another 20 to write (at least). I will get round to it but just havent had the time. I guess with her wedding coming up she is busy but I agree a quick phone call of acknowledgement and thanks would take no time at all.

[shivvy]

Hi Whoever,

I have spent quite a bit of money on the last 3 weddings that we have been invited to but have received no thanks from any of them. I'm not even looking for thanks but because I have bought gifts online, it would be nice to know that they have at least received them.
No doubt about it - it is rude if people don't acknowledge (by letter, phonecall or email) a gift.

[JonnyBoy12]

How ungrateful, but I notice that you did not mention the wonder of email in your posting. Some people think that now email has been invented it solves everthing, and will only communicate with other people via this medium. Anyone who does not have mail or a mobile phone is in the Dark Ages, and they will make no attempt to contact anyone in any other way.

Are you sure she has not send you a Thank You note via text message. I have heard of people proposing in this way, and also the reverse.

As the other ABers say it is a sign of the times, but there is no excuse for that sort of behaviour. Good manners cost nothing, as they say.